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Help- I have a month to night wean my 3 year old milk monster!

(10 Posts)
dyslexicdespot Sun 21-Dec-14 09:34:03

Is it possible to get DS to stop breastfeeding at night without tears?

I have to go away for work in about a month. I will be gone for 4 nights. DS has never been without me over night, and I have only missed his bedtimes a couple of times. He has always been breastfeed to sleep, when I am home. We co-sleep and he breastfeeds throughout the night.

I would ideally like him to self wean, but I am desperate to stop the night feeds. The problem is that I want him to night wean without leaving him to cry. He has full on melt downs if I refuse to feed him at night.

I am getting so nervous about this upcoming trip! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Ashwagandha Sun 21-Dec-14 09:37:41

Ooh following for advice as I'm in a very similar boat: mummy milk mad three year old. I'd just love to have more than three or so hours of unborn sleep for the first time in three and a half years... Good luck to you OP

dyslexicdespot Sun 21-Dec-14 10:02:21

Ah yes, sleep, beautiful I miss thee!

Iggi999 Tue 23-Dec-14 19:23:19

Who will he be with? I've left my 2.5 year old very rarely, have a night away booked for New year and so wonder how he'll get on. I have a feeling he will settle better for someone else who does not have the capacity to feed him, iyswim, but who can still lie down with him and cuddle him.

FATEdestiny Tue 23-Dec-14 19:27:52

Do you have a trusted close friend or relative? Perhaps your Mum?

I find a change of surroundings helps with nighttime problems. If he is having a super exciting sleepover at Nana's house maybe he will be OK and understand no feeding at night.

A couple of practice nights elsewhere can show him and you that he can do it. Lots of proud 'big boy' praise may then help at home?

mrsjohno Tue 23-Dec-14 19:30:05

We bought a picture book 'nursies when the sun shines' which is quite American but can be adapted while you read. It's lovely - family bed, co-sleeping etc. DD1 got the idea quickly (2.5 yrs) and one night when she woke up I explained baboo was for when the sun was shining, we had 5 mins of a hard cry and then that was it for good. She still wakes now and asks for it but goes straight back to sleep when I say it's still nighttime. It was strangely straightforward after years of no sleep but it helped that I had little milk as was 6 months pregnant (hence the desperate need for a little more sleep!) Also, I'd never not fed to sleep and never missed a bedtime but when it came to me being in hospital giving birth she settled for her grandmother without a peep. They're adaptable little things really smile

Showy Tue 23-Dec-14 19:30:14

Have you tried Jay Gordon?

dyslexicdespot Tue 23-Dec-14 20:54:22

Oh, how exciting! I thought my thread would die. Thank you for all the advice.

DH and my mother will be with DS when I am gone. DH is a wonderful father, not being able to breastfeed is his only real failing as a parent. ;-)

Iggi- I hope you have a wonderful new years away!

FATE- I really like the idea of having a few practise nights. I could go out for the evening and have DH put DS to sleep in DS's bed. DS has never actually slept in his own room or bed so that would be a new experience for him!

mrs- thank you for the advice. I'm glad to hear that your DD had such an easy time adjusting to a new routine. Fingers crossed DS will have a similar experience. I will hunt down the book you suggested. It sounds like the sort of thing that DS would enjoy.

Showy- I haven't tried Jay Gordon. Did his books work for you?

Thanks again!

catellington Tue 23-Dec-14 21:10:58

Hi op

I am bf and cosleep with my 22 month old dd. I had never left her until I got a sick bug at 16 weeks pg a couple of months ago and she went to my dm's for the night. So completely unplanned. She easily settled in a cotbed after a few stories shock and stayed there all night. My DM slept on the sofa next to her and shushed when she woke in the night. In short, she behaved totally differently at dm's than at home, with no preparation etc. ie she would never normally sleep anywhere but in my bed, bf all night etc.

I don't know how this translates to a 3 yo but thought I'd share.

She went straight back to normal at home though.

Showy Wed 24-Dec-14 00:04:39

I just used the Jay Gordon night weaning method that's online and adapted it to suit us.

I found night weaning pleasantly easy actually. I did it when mine were toddlers too and they understood what was happening. We talked it through. I picked a place which was for bfing (my chair) and explained that from then on breast feeding would take place in that chair only. In the night, I gently, calmly reminded that beds were no longer for milk and both adapted with minimal fuss. They were both absolute milk monsters too. I had expected all sorts of trouble but preparation really was key.

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