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How to settle DC (12 months) to sleep without feed

(9 Posts)
FoodPorn Tue 09-Dec-14 18:34:03

DS is currently settled to sleep with a breastfeed for his naps and at bedtime. He is going to nursery soon and I'm anxious to get him going to sleep without the feed (seeing as he won't have that at nursery). How do I transition him? I'm imagining he'll go completely mental if we just put him straight in the cot without a feed.

We've used the baby whisperer's put-down technique recently to get him to sleep in his cot (he was until recently co-sleeping and still partially is). I feel fsad at the thought of doing it through a load of crying again.

All of this cake is for anyone who can help us! fgrin

EmbarrassedPossessed Tue 09-Dec-14 18:40:57

My advice would be not to change anything at home at all, if you're happy with how things are.

My ds was 11 months when he first went to nursery. All naps had been fed to sleep and often lying on me, apart from when he had fallen asleep in the pram. I had never just put him down and left him to it. I explained all this to nursery who were very reassuring about it. Amazingly he slept for decent naps from his first day without any problems!

The group setting of nursery seems to really encourage them to nap, as the other children are napping, the lights are low etc etc and it seems that they are happy to join in.

FoodPorn Tue 09-Dec-14 21:54:13

Thanks very much EP, that is very reassuring. I've been thinking we need to get him nursery-ready before we send him in. Now I'm thinking we might have been torturing ourselves and him for nothing...

However, MIL will be looking after DS for a day a week too which presumably means we need to get him happy with being settled by her instead of being fed to sleep by me. And the other issue is that DS still wakes up every few hours in the night which I am worried is because he can't settle himself to sleep because he is used to being fed to sleep.

MistletoeBUTNOwine Tue 09-Dec-14 21:58:23

Following this food.
DS is 11m and I'm going back to work soon, still bf to sleep and wakes frequently in the night to bf. We co-sleep.
DS will be with his dad one day and my mum the other, but he seems to realise no mama= no bf and falls asleep without smile
How do you manage the frequent night feeding back to sleep now you're no longer co sleeping?

EmbarrassedPossessed Tue 09-Dec-14 22:12:56

Yes, I would echo that there seems to be an understanding that no mum = no breastfeed and then they find another way to get to sleep. My DS has been looked after occasionally by his Nan/Auntie/babysitter and has been fine, they've managed to settle him without too much hassle.

I did find that his sleep improved rapidly from 12 months and then at some point suddenly feeding to sleep just stopped working. He wouldn't be that drowsy, and I realised I could just transfer him to his cot awake. He then would need just a bit of gentle patting or singing to and he would drop off. Night wakings also reduced, although I would try not to feed in the night if I could possibly help it.

Justgotosleepnow Tue 09-Dec-14 22:21:38

Another person saying don't worry about naps at nursery. My dd naps beautifully for grandparents, and childminder. Me- always feed her to sleep. So don't worry smile

FoodPorn Wed 10-Dec-14 13:10:31

Thanks everyone - so incredibly helpful. I will cancel my plans to go cold turkey on the feeding-to-sleep thing and experiment with getting the other half / MIL to settle him without me around.

Mistletoe(sober) - I don't feed him at night until he comes into bed with us at about 1/2am (I couldn't bring myself to kick him out of our bed for the entire night, he is too cute and snuggly fgrin). He does wake up before then a couple of times but goes back to sleep really easily when we turn on his Tranquil Turtle and lay him down. Before we got him to sleep in his cot, he used to feed on and off all night. He feeds when I bring him in at 1am.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Wed 10-Dec-14 14:13:44

I know loads of people have said this now, but we found the same. No problem napping without a bf when I wasn't there. smile

TheannamoLeelu Wed 10-Dec-14 14:23:20

I can confirm when my boy went to nursery at 12/13 months I'd been feeding him to sleep for naps and bedtimes, and was worried he might not sleep at nursery or cry a lot (he wasn't the best sleeper anyway). Turns out I was worried for nothing as he slept fine from the very first day. Still wanted to be fed to sleep by me at home though! And was also fine with my mum, I think they know they only get milk from you, so if you aren't there they just get on with it then make up for the feed later on when they see you.

You could bring a special blanket or his sleeping bag to nursery so it's another clue to him it's nap time? I did that for the first few weeks for my DS, and made sure I took one in that he'd slept in the night before so it smelt of home.

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