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Did your toddler self wean while you were pregnant?

(16 Posts)
shinynewname Thu 13-Nov-14 06:59:22

My 2.5 year old is still pretty keen. He doesn't really bf during the day, but likes a feed at bedtime. Also I'm too lazy and will give him a little bf at night if he's awake and upset, he then rolls over and happily goes back to sleep.

I'm not really sure how I feel about tandem feeding, so I was wondering how likely it was that he'd stop by himself.

He'll be three by the time baby is due, I've never fed a 3 year old before as my oldest stopped around 2 yo.

Any advice our experience appreciated, tha

shinynewname Thu 13-Nov-14 07:00:09

There was a thanks on the end there! smile

bigbluestars Thu 13-Nov-14 07:09:21

I have heard the figure of 60% chance of self weaning during subsequent pregnancy- I'll try to dig out the sourse for that. My limited experience seems to support that figure- I have know several hundred women become pregnant whilst breastfeeding, and it is not the majority who go on to tandem feed. Remember your milk will stop and revert back to colostrum at some point and your feeling may change too. Breastfeeding may become uncomfortable, and don't be surprised if you feel less toleralnt of feeding your toddler.

Having said that I tandem fed for two years.

Stealthpolarbear Thu 13-Nov-14 07:13:43

No, I fed all through pregnancy and then for a further 18 months for the older one

TheEagle Thu 13-Nov-14 07:21:01

It all seems very personal reading through anecdotes and also factual info.

KellyMom has a few articles about feeding through pregnancy. I think one of theirs suggests the figure of 60% but says that it's hard to tell what % actually self - weaned and what % were given gentle encouragement by mum.

I'm currently 14 weeks pg and I had terrible nursing aversion in the first weeks of my pregnancy. It was so sore and uncomfortable. I just wanted to stop but I felt so guilty.

At our 11 week scan we found out we are having twins so that firmly decided things for me! I won't be feeding 3 babies!

I thought it would be hard on everyone to wean DS but in fact we just stopped. He was down to 2/3 feeds in 24 hours and once I didn't offer, he didn't look for them. I had no soreness or discomfort. He was just 13mo.

I think an older toddler will probably understand if you say "milk's all gone" or something like that.

We still partly co-sleep as well and since weaning DS sleeps through the night (a miracle). He sometimes wakes around 5 and I bring him into the bed then but he just cuddles up and goes back to sleep.

Good luck! And congrats on your pregnancy!

bigbluestars Thu 13-Nov-14 07:37:42

I think that is often the case though- breastfeeding is a dyad, not a one way process. Feeling "antsy" while breastfeeding during pregnancy is not uncommon.

shinynewname Thu 13-Nov-14 07:56:44

Thanks. smile

I was only just pg when DS1 stopped, and I had been cutting down feeds with him as I thought it might be interfering with getting pregnant.

I'm only about 8 weeks now, I did find it a but painful for a couple of weeks, but it's ok now.

He will settle fine without bedtime bf, if I sneak off he'll let DH tuck him in. DH is rubbish at waking up at night though, and is a bit 'rod for your own back' about it. DS2 has always been a crap sleeper and we used to co sleep for part of the night, which DH was not comfortable with.

I think l do feel conflicted about it as DS2's wee face lights up for mummy milk. smile

shinynewname Thu 13-Nov-14 08:00:00

Of to read Kellymom, hadn't thought of that for some reason. blush

leedy Thu 13-Nov-14 11:38:32

Mine did, though not until about 20 weeks in. He was 2.5 and had been slowly dropping feeds/losing interest even before I got pregnant, though.

cuphat Thu 13-Nov-14 11:54:33

I'm 11 weeks pregnant and DD (17 months) has just self-weaned (yesterday was the first time that she didn't want to feed before bed!). I never thought it would happen.

weebairn Thu 13-Nov-14 14:31:49

Yes, sort of.

I was 20 weeks pregnant and we were down to one feed a day anyway, plus I worked shifts including nights so sometimes feeds got missed. Anyway, by 20 weeks every time she tried to feed she got really upset and told me it was all gone. I found this incredibly upsetting - that i couldn't comfort her with it any more, she'd just get hysterical and angry - so I stopped offering. She asked a few times in subsequent weeks and was easily distracted, and then stopped asking. She was 20 months old. I'm not sure if you'd call that self-weaning or not. But I don't think it would have happened if I hadn't been pregnant.

In the early stages of pregnancy there were no problems - no soreness or aversion for me, she was happy too.

Be warned: I asked around a lot and several people told me of toddlers who weaned during pregnancy then restarted when the baby was born and the milk was back. I couldn't quite decide how I felt about this (I didn't really want to stop, but I wasn't sure about tandem nursing either)… I thought I might do it if DD1 was incredibly jealous … in the end DD1 was very happy and lovely with DD2 and whilst intrigued by the feeding didn't really ask for it again herself.

DD2 is now 6 weeks old and DD1 is 2 yrs old and she likes to tell me babies have mummy milk and she has milk in a cup. I think I'm glad, overall. I admire tandem nursing but I think it must be very tiring.

Jenny70 Thu 13-Nov-14 14:48:59

Neither of mine did, but tandem feeding was easy - older child only wanted bedtime feed and maybe one night feed... fed and went back to sleep very quickly.

Supply did drop during pg, but ds1 and then dd1 were quite determined to continue... they weaned when baby was about 6 months... they were approaching 3 by then.

Youngest very determined and gave up at at 14 months, which felt so early, despite it being longer than average...

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Thu 13-Nov-14 14:54:24

My milk went at 4 months each time, so both mine self weaned then (both verbal, so told me. DD1 memorably said "Milk gone Mummy. Banana? ").

Booboostoo Thu 13-Nov-14 15:25:50

I was feeding 3yo DD three times a day when my milk run dry at 28 weeks. I found dry nursing extremely painful and she was disappointed with it as there was no milk so we stopped. When the baby arrived she asked to bf again and I let her but she seemed to have lost her sucking reflex so that was that (she also told me bf was for babies which I fear was my DM's contribution to the process).

shinynewname Thu 13-Nov-14 16:30:57

Thanks all. smile

Jakeyblueblue Sat 15-Nov-14 18:53:06

I was feeding ds1 2.5 morning and night when I fell pregnant with ds 2. My milk dried up very quickly and was gone by 7 weeks. Ds1 weaned himself shortly after. No fuss whatsoever. smile

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