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When is enough enough?

(15 Posts)
MrsGiraffe12 Wed 12-Nov-14 21:23:20

When is enough enough regarding breastfeeding?

I think I've had enough!

DD is 10 weeks old and it's been nothing but a struggle.

I exclusively breastfed from birth until day 5 when I stopped due to mashed, cracked and bleeding nipples. DD was checked by several people for tounge tie and she does not have it. I expressed and topped up with formula on days 5 to 10 to heal my nipples. From days 10 until now we've stuggled so much. DD fusses so much at the breast. She will feed frequently but never seems satisfied and will get to the point she screams and cries hysterically and the only thing that will settle her is formula. I have tried formula reduction methods as on kellymom website but she looses weight when she has more boobie than formula.

Spoke to a lactation consultant who helped narrow it down to slow let down and low supply. I've tried various galactalgues, fennel tea, fennugreek and dopermidone along with regular pumping and feeding and they haven't helped. Haven't been able to source a cheap enough supplemental nursing system.

I'm eating and drinking loads, but am still loosing weight and am on iron tablets for anaemia for the second time since her birth (first due to difficult birth). Have also had mastitis.

Is it worth struggling on? I'm feeling a failure as a mother right now :-(

Iggly Wed 12-Nov-14 21:27:24

Mmmm well I would check whether your LC knows about tongue tie - I saw two. One was a a specialist the other wasn't. The nonspecialist couldn't tell.... Many BF counsellors couldn't tell either. I think it was because it was a posterior tie so harder to spot.

But I would stop if you've had enough as it is draining.

fionnthedog Wed 12-Nov-14 21:35:37

It's absolutely NOT a failure if you stop. I'm sure others will have some tips on low supply shortly but if you want to stop then do. Formula is not poison and no one should judge you.

Totally up to you and if you're happy to carry on that's fine but if you want to stop then please do. You have done amazingly to get to this point. Xx

McFox Wed 12-Nov-14 21:39:08

That sounds rough. It's not compulsory to bf and formula isn't heroin, so if you need to move to ff to ensure that you don't feel like a failure and to make this precious time less stressful for both of you, then it's not the end of the world.

I say this as I had to give up bf at 16 weeks due to many of the problems you describe and I felt shit about it. But do you know what? My DS is way, way happier (he's now 22 weeks) has gone from the 2nd to the 25th centile for weight (I'm the space of 6 weeks!) and we are enjoying our days together where before they were an endless battle.

It was my GP who recommended moving to ff and told me that DS had received most of the benefit from bf within the first 6 weeks, so it was time to give myself a break. Bring a total perfectionist this was hard to do, but it was the best thing for us both.

You've done brilliantly to get this far through mastitis and everything else - be proud of yourself but be kind to yourself too; no-one will judge you if you stop and you shouldn't either, it's totally ok.

Messygirl Wed 12-Nov-14 21:48:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBuggerlugs Thu 13-Nov-14 04:39:38

Sod that for a game of soldiers. I stopped at 4 weeks as like you I simply couldn't eat or drink enough and had 2 infections I couldn't shift. Best thing I've ever done. I've got a bit more energy, I don't have to worry about what to wear or where to go out and I know exactly how much DD is getting. Other people can feed for you too so you don't have to do all the night feeds which is bloody marvellous.

Invest in a Tommee Tippee perfect prep and 8 Avent original bottles and a good sized steriser and Bob's your uncle. I think the bottles might still be half price at Mothercare. (5.50 for 2)

Breast is only best when It's best for both you and baby.

rootypig Thu 13-Nov-14 05:01:51

Breast is only best when It's best for both you and baby.

Utterly. Don't let the BF lobby and guilt rob you of your common sense. If you can't enjoy your baby, if you're ill or unwell, if you're miserable, or she is - formula is a wonderful alternative.

You don't need permission to stop, but you can definitely have it flowers

happylittlevegemites Thu 13-Nov-14 09:15:49

I breasted my son for 16 months, but there is NO WAY I would have lasted 10 weeks of what you are going through! You have given her so much already. Don't sweat it, there are plenty of other things yet to feel guilty about as a mother ;)

whereisthewitch Thu 13-Nov-14 09:20:46

I stopped at 14 weeks due to severe reflux, slow weight gains and the fact that my ds absolutely hated feeding off me, it aggravated the reflux. I was devastated tbh, felt like a failure, felt like crying with every bottle of formula I gave him. He's 5 months now and I don't actually think twice about it, he's happy and thriving, ive got my body back and can actually spend time with ny toddler.

Best thing I did was accepting it was over and moving on.

MrsGiraffe12 Thu 13-Nov-14 17:29:52

Thanks everyone. I feel better for venting my frustrations. I feel sad at the thought of stopping but I think in this instance my physical and psychological health has to come first. Like others have said, formula isn't crack, she will still thrive and be happy. I think I will enjoy her more if I stop xx

TheGirlAtTheRockShow Thu 13-Nov-14 18:14:22

Happy mum = happy baby. We have options so use the one right for you. Exclusive BF isn't right for you. Maybe mix feeding or maybe exclusive FF. Either way, if you are happy your baby will be too. You tried EBF, but definitely didn't fail. It just isn't the right thing for your family.

RandomMess Thu 13-Nov-14 18:21:41

Yep happy Mum = happy baby, it isn't crack. You have done so so so well to get this far with the issues you've endured.

I had horrific time the first time I breastfed, I would not have made it if it had been my eldest because I knew how to do the rest of the stuff. The next 2 were so much easier, little pain despite getting mastitis!!

FlossieTreadlight Thu 13-Nov-14 18:26:02

I'm at the 4 week point with DC2 and on the verge of stopping. As with a Pp we've got reflux plus tongue tie, slow weight gain, exhaustion. The things that's preventing me stopping is the inability to think clearly about how to actually stop without causing engorgement and risking infection and the lack of info out there to inform me. Can anyone help with this? (Sorry to hijack)

OP you've done amazingly. Be proud of what you've done and move forward to the next phase if you feel it's right for you

TheABC Sun 16-Nov-14 13:48:32

No judgement here. You have done amazingly well and if you need to make the switch, do it with a smile.

Essexgirlupnorth Sun 16-Nov-14 14:21:19

I stopped BF at 12 weeks as was mixed feeding and she was starting to fight the breast. I tried everything but couldn't get my supply up and I had a d&v bug which completely killed it.
We were both so much happier with her being fully FF and I'm not sure if I will try to breastfeed next time. Was worried about telling one of my friends who is very much of the I don't do formula brigade but she was ok as she knows how hard I tried to get it to work.
Once they are older no one cares how they were fed when they were little

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