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Help! I can't stop tracking.

(34 Posts)
ClearlyMoo Sun 02-Nov-14 15:08:45

Basic history - baby tongue tied. Horrific feeding issues/ took 7 weeks to regain 18oz lost in first 3 days. I got mastitis then abscess took months to recover DD gaining weight well now. Feeds 2h30-3h a day (down from 6-8hrs before TTD).

I started tracking because two friends did and I love my phone and bought the app. Then it came into it's own with all the issues and I knew exactly what's going on. But its become an obsession/OCD type thing. Like right now whilst I'm typing this my DD has latched and I haven't pressed "start" on the app so I won't be tracking it accurately. She 24 weeks and we are going to start BLW soon.

I don't need to track anymore do I? I should stop shouldn't I?

Otherwise I'll be tracking every mouthful of food forever. Plan to do BLW which is good for letting them have what they like and being relaxed about it. I need to let go.

Shall I go cold turkey or just keep a note?

Any suggestions/your own stories of when you stopped tracking very welcome.

Thanks

Weekipper Sun 02-Nov-14 15:13:46

I fell into a tracking obsession and stopped when weaning took over as it was harder to input data and I would get annoyed that it was wrong. Then I realised I got to know my baby's cues better when I wasn't a slave to a timer.

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived Sun 02-Nov-14 15:27:27

Yes, you need to let go!

Which do you think you will find easier - weaning yourself off the app or going cold turkey?

As for when I stopped tracking, I can't really help. I think I did about 2 weeks with DD1, and never for the next two grin

GotToBeInItToWinIt Sun 02-Nov-14 15:38:33

What do you think will happen if you stop? I have never tracked my DD's feeds (now 11 months). I understand that her difficult start with feeding has made you anxious, but what does tracking actually achieve? Maybe tell yourself you'll stop for 3 days, and commit to it. At the end of that 3 days reassess and decide whether anything negative has happened as a result of not tracking.

ClearlyMoo Sun 02-Nov-14 16:48:20

I guess I worry if I stop I don't know that she's had enough. I like the "stopping for three days" idea. Thank you! Not tracking this feed and it's ok.

icklekid Sun 02-Nov-14 16:52:10

I was the same ridiculously obsessed with tracking if it helps we were both much happier and relaxed when I stopped. Delete the app and breath x

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived Sun 02-Nov-14 18:13:56

But....

The amount of time a baby spends at the breast may bear no relation to how much they eat. They may eat fast or slow (do you always take the same amount of time to eat a bowl of pasta, say?) Or they may be having a not-very-hungry day (or the opposite).

I suppose what I mean is, now you are over the difficulties, it doesn't really tell you anything, does it?

ClearlyMoo Sun 02-Nov-14 19:27:24

Not tracking. Second feed I haven't tracked. Feels odd. But ok....

Taystee Sun 02-Nov-14 19:32:08

I'm still tracking at 14 months!! I don't feel obsessive about it like I used to though. I think I find some comfort in all the data

GotToBeInItToWinIt Sun 02-Nov-14 20:00:42

Well done OP! Keep going.

ClearlyMoo Sun 02-Nov-14 22:59:49

I'm still recording her sleep, poos, Doidy cup feeds and my expressing (for cup feeds), but have stopped recording BF. so far so good. X

Squtternutbaush Mon 03-Nov-14 01:26:39

I don't know what tracking is but judging by your last post you spend too much time doing it and not enough time enjoying your little one!

Please try and let go, your daughter is obviously thriving and you sound like your doing great too but you need to stop obsessing over every aspect of her being or you will drive yourself mad.

ClearlyMoo Mon 03-Nov-14 20:07:37

Twenty four hours of not tracking DDs feed. She seems ok.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Mon 03-Nov-14 20:16:04

Erm, dare I ask why you are tracking poo? smile

ClearlyMoo Mon 03-Nov-14 20:28:09

Cos it's a rare event... about once or twice a week!

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Mon 03-Nov-14 20:30:56

So you lose track and think 'oh, has she been this week'? Ok, fair enough.

Is she a poor sleeper? I think you can get weirdly obsessed with sleep tracking when you have a poor sleeper. I gave up when I realised I had three weeks' pages of sleep information and no sleep improvement!

GotToBeInItToWinIt Mon 03-Nov-14 20:36:25

The thing is, and I'm not quite sure how to express this properly, but tracking it doesn't actually achieve anything. For example, if she isn't feeding enough, you will have it written down that she isn't feeding enough, but that won't make her feed any more, IYSWIM? And tracking her sleep won't make her sleep any better. I have never tracked but used to add up in my head how much sleep DD had had, and if it wasn't enough I would be stressed. But that didn't make her sleep any more! It's far more relaxing to not obsess over the amount she sleeps.

Well done on the 24 hours, how are you feeling?

Eminybob Mon 03-Nov-14 21:36:01

I use an app with feeding DS and it's mainly so I know which breast to start on (as my memory is shocking) and roughly when he may want feeding again (so I'm not caught out if out and about)
I'm not a slave to it as I don't use it 100% of the time, but saying that I'm not sure I would be able to give it up.
I did track all poos and wees when he was first born but got over that pretty easily grin

ClearlyMoo Mon 03-Nov-14 21:54:06

Think the sleep is no problem. It's only a couple of clicks a day. The poo tracking is "when did she last go?" As it's so infrequent.

It was the Bf tracking that was ridiculous. Every on and off every pause... Was ridiculous.

I'm doing ok not tracking. It helps that I usually always feed from both boobs every feed anyway. Usually in the same order. So I don't need to track feeds.

Today it's been weird but actually nice just enjoying her feeding without stressing about pressing buttons etc!

Thanks all

ClearlyMoo Wed 05-Nov-14 08:10:32

She's woken up two nights in a row at a time she doesn't usually wake since I stopped tracking. I have massive fear that I'm not feeding her enough in the day now I don't know how much I'm feeding her. She had a good weight gain this fortnight but most of that was tracked.

lovesmycake Wed 05-Nov-14 08:29:47

Her waking up two days in a row could be down to any number of things, it really could be something as simple as her becoming ready to achieve a milestone - rolling over? Or if you have started BLW her digestion is getting started something new for her to process and think about?

You are doing an amazing job! Trust yourself you know her a lot better then an app on a phone. If you want to feed her more then do it - you know her best, honestly you do, you just need to believe it.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Wed 05-Nov-14 09:50:51

I mean this kindly, but this is your anxiety speaking.

A baby's volume of milk intake is not directly correlated to minutes on the breast. Sometime they chug it down the like a rugby player doing drinking games and sometimes they nurse it like a dowager duchesse with a cup of tea. So minutes themselves don't tell you anything much, especially by 5 months old.

Secondly, baby sleep patterns change all the time, for all sorts of reasons. This is more than likely coincidence.

Thirdly, and this is a genuine question, what would you have done if you'd been tracking and she'd been, say 5 minutes down? Would you have tried to 'force' a feed, and what would have happened? Because bf babies tend to refuse feeds if they don't want them and tend to ask vocally if they do (leaving aside, obviously, those who are poorly, premmie, etc etc).

Finally, have you been told to continue weighing as regularly as fortnightly? Most babies will bounce around the lines a bit and, as far as I know, by this age no more than monthly is generally normal.

smile

Squtternutbaush Wed 05-Nov-14 11:03:57

Moo, have you spoken to someone about your anxiety? It really does sound like you have projected the control that you lost in the early days onto this app and now you've stopped using it the anxiety is returning.

At 5 months babies change their sleep and behaviour patterns so often that its hard to pin what's causing it so please don't worry about it.

I am a bit worried that this app seems to have lulled you into a false sense of security too, there is no way to tell how much your daughter is taking from a feed because you can't see it or measure it especially not by time as she could gulp down a massive amount in 5 minutes and a tiny amount in 30 depending on how she feels. Your daughter doesn't know anything about you tracking or not tracking so she won't be eating drastically less because you've stopped timing.

I agree that fortnightly weigh ins are generally up to 3 months (although obviously there's no set rule) then monthly thereafter because it can lead to lots of unnecessary stressing with natural fluctuations.

GotToBeInItToWinIt Wed 05-Nov-14 11:57:20

Moo, even if you'd been tracking surely she'd have been feeding the same amount? All the tracking does is record how much she is feeding, not make her drink more milk. Have you spoken to anyone regarding your anxiety? FWIW DD woke up 4 times last night when she usually only wakes up once, babies are a law unto themselves smile. As soon as you think you have a pattern it changes.

ClearlyMoo Wed 05-Nov-14 15:50:42

Health visitors have tried to "wean" me onto monthly weigh ins. Although they said I could go whenever I needed too if it reduced my anxiety about DDs weight. I have tried to go three weeks but then I panic that she's LOST weight. HV team all know my history so I think they just accept that we will keep weighing regularly. One HV said "you'll know when it's time to stop going regularly, when you think "I can't be bothered to go to clinic"". That has not happened yet.

When she hadn't had at least 2h30 mins of feed I would wake her up (ish) and dream feed her until she had... hmm

I'm trying really hard not to track. I'm training as a BF peer supporter which is helping me understand the physiology of it a lot more. I agree the tracking was all about me and not about her...

Not tracking is good but it is HARD. I'm choosing now to stop as she'll be 6 months next week and we want to introduce solids. The plan is BLW and that's totally untrackable so I thought good to stop BF tracking now.

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