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Does it get easier??

(21 Posts)
thebestthinginlifeisgrace Fri 31-Oct-14 02:17:27

Hi everyone.

DD2 is just 2 days old so still all very early days. Basically DD1 was formula fed due to having a tongue tie so I've been pretty keen to breast feed DD2 which so far has been going fairly well.
The only problem is she will only sleep/settle being breast fed/cuddled. As soon as I put her down she wakes up and no amount of rubbing/patting will send her back to sleep. As a result I haven't slept much the last 2 nights and have found myself dozing whilst holding her which I know is unsafe.
I suppose what I'm asking is...does it get easier? Will DD hopefully be more settled the older she gets/more milk comes in? Does anyone have any tips for me to possibly be able to settle her more.
I co slept with DD1 when she was a baby and for DD2 have bought a bed side crib so was hoping she'd be happy in there, but all she wants is to be cuddled.
Hope this all makes sense, thanks in advance thanks

OliviaRinHerts Fri 31-Oct-14 02:30:29

Congratulations!

Yes - it's all normal. They've had a traumatic birth and have been nice and snug in your womb so want to be cuddled all the time. Our ds did but that stops eventually (maybe not for a few weeks but it does).

The crib is a great idea. I wish I had one as it would have made the first few weeks easier (we just has Moses basket but I had stitches so it was painful lifting him )

Try putting a hot water bottle on the sheet and then removing it so he feels warmth. Also rolled up blankets around him help him feel snug. Lots of little things can help but nothing like mummy's cuddles wink

Things gets easier so just know that the difficult first few weeks will pass. Honestly!

OliviaRinHerts Fri 31-Oct-14 02:36:58

Oh and re the dozing. It isn't safe - we all know that. I can't really advise you how to stay awake (it is an impossible task and so exhausting) but I tried to get DH to stay awake with me for the first first weeks when I was prone to doze so we would both be there and hopefully half awake. I was so paranoid. Once feeding is more established and you start to get more sleep the dozing will stop. Not sure what kind of
Crib you have - the ones with the open sides are great (that is what I assumed you had) so they are helpful to avoid co sleeping and falling asleep but it will take a little time still

thebestthinginlifeisgrace Fri 31-Oct-14 03:36:59

Hi thanks so much for your reply. It's so good to hear that things got easier for you, I suppose it's just a case of getting through the next few weeks then. I think we were spoiled with DD1, she always settled really well, but I think that was a lot to do with being formula fed and possibly having a fuller tummy.
The hot water bottle is a brilliant idea, and the rolled up blankets. Did you find your son was more settled in day time, or still wanting cuddles?
Yes we have a Chicco next to me crib, so the side comes down and it attaches to the bed. Like I said we co slept with DD1 so I really liked the idea of a bed side crib.
Resisting dozing tonight...have been keeping myself busy on here!!

AnythingNotEverything Fri 31-Oct-14 03:46:46

Entirely normal, particularly in the early nights. Has your milk come in yet? She'll be more satisfied/ full up once you have milk rather than colustrum I expect.

Huge congratulations.

thebestthinginlifeisgrace Fri 31-Oct-14 03:53:05

Thank you Anything. I suspect I'm feeling a bit hormonal so have been irrationally worried that this phase will last forever even though I know it won't!! No my milk hasn't come in yet, so hopefully that will make DD a little more satisfied.

GoldfishSpy Fri 31-Oct-14 04:17:40

we had 3 nights like this, then 9 weeks of waking at 1am and 4am for feeds. now at 11 weeks, DS is still fully breastfed, feeds at 7pm, goes to sleep and wakes at 4am for a feed (miracle)

so in my experience, normal and it will pass smile

sorry for lack of punctuation - typing while feeding !!

thebestthinginlifeisgrace Fri 31-Oct-14 04:24:05

Wow that's amazing Goldfish. It definitely gives me hope. Can I ask what your routine was like? Did you do anything like swaddling?
Glad the breastfeeding is still going well as well!

GoldfishSpy Fri 31-Oct-14 04:37:06

Hi the best

We kind of fell into a 'routine' because we have 5 year old twins who go to bed at 7pm so it made sense for me to sit on my arse feeding while DH did the hard work feed the baby while DH put the other 2 to bed.

So at 7ish, clean babygro and nappy, swaddle, feed till he pops off, into bedside cot. He just drifts off to sleep shock
1st 6 weeks ish I used to go to bed at the same time. Every 3 nights or so he has a dunk in the bath as part of bedtime.
If I on't swaddle him he wakes himself up thrashing around.

It is like a miracle - DT2 slept through at 12 weeks. but DT1 didn't till 8 months!! Both ebf too.

Back to bed for us now as he's finished and dropped off...

MyBalletShoes Fri 31-Oct-14 04:37:24

Hi thebestthing

I'm on day 6 of the newborn stage and things aren't as tricky as they were on nights 1,2 and 3. smile

Like you DS2 would only sleep on us those first few nights but on night 4 he went down in the basket by 5am, day 5 he went down by 2am and last night was down by 11 pm. Each night has become a little easier even though he's still up every 2 hours so a feed.

What helped was DH keeping him downstairs and trying to get him settled while I went to bed for 90 mins/ 2 hrs of uninterrupted sleep. When he woke he'd do nappy and bring him up for a feed. He then had more of a rest in the day and we 're hoping that by the end of his paternity, things will be a little easier.

I can't remember DS1 being quite so difficult to put down but it is comforting to look at him now at 2 yo and think - 'it does pass! He's sleeping ok now so DS2 will too - at some point! grin

purplemurple1 Fri 31-Oct-14 04:38:51

're the dozing, I would sit crossed legged (like a kid) and put the baby in my lap after the feed so at least of I dozed I wouldn't drop him.

AnnaBanana25 Fri 31-Oct-14 05:07:46

You sound EXACTLY like me at that newborn stage!! Yes it ends. We has a crib attached to my side of the bed. I would play white noise, and after feeding to sleep I'd swaddle ds tightly, keeping the white noise on, then quickly jump in and put an arm around his top and an arm around the bottom so he was enclosed in a lying down cuddle. Didn't always work at first but then it did. We were then able to move away slowly so he'd sleep on his own. He is now in his own cot! Still swaddled and i usually put a hand over his belly to settle him into sleep.

Was a gradual process but he now sleeps on his own :-) hope you see improvements soon and are able to get rest somehow.

OliviaRinHerts Fri 31-Oct-14 07:39:49

The best

I was so hormonal - I cried evey day for 2 weeks so it is normal to worry but I think you are doing brilliantly. You are Breastfeeding which I struggled with for the few weeks so that is half the battle

I had meant to mention swaddling. It helps in most cases. We didn't do it initially and when we did try it a few weeks in he didn't like it so definitely give it a go

Just feeding now and ds has fallen asleep on me ( i use a boppy pillow) and if ds had his way he would stay asleep on me even now but it's back in the basket for him ! They just love the warmth and can hear your heart so feel very comforted there. It's hard to do but just try and relax and enjoy your amazing baby. The weeks just fly by even though it doesn't seem like it!

Heatherbell1978 Fri 31-Oct-14 08:02:34

Buy a Sleepyhead! I also have the Chicco Next to Me crib and for the first few days DS1 wouldn't really settle in it, he seemed so big and rolled around in the swaddle. On day 3 I sent DH to John Lewis after reading rave reviews. First night he slept 4 hours in it and has done consistent 4 hour stretches since (he's 10 wks). He also self settles in it which at his age is great. Worth a try! It fits perfectly in the crib too.

squizita Fri 31-Oct-14 21:51:45

Yeah it gets better!
6 weeks here, sitting here with dd in her sleepy head (a memory foam crib, miraculously males em sleep), with my pint of water, infacol and phone/games. Knowing roughly when she'll feed and when ill sleep. All set up.
Tiring but nowhere near as bad as early days!

It will improve - literally day by day. smile

Sadly poo and wee has not improved. Lol that's got bigger grin as she's grown and eats more!!

Catsize Fri 31-Oct-14 22:14:37

Totally normal. And feeding lying on your side will help after a few days (you are probably both too novice for now to master this), you will soon be feeding in the cat food aisle of Sainsbury's (if you have a cat and go to Sainsbury's) and these days will be a distant blur. In the early days, they feed ALL THE TIME. Mine were permanently attached for the first few weeks. Totally normal and very different to ff. and of course they want to be snuggled all the time in the beginning. Congrats flowers

thebestthinginlifeisgrace Fri 31-Oct-14 23:17:06

Hey thanks everyone for your input and advice. Makes me feel I'm not alone in the night feeds and my DH snoring next to me!!!
DD2 is finally settling in her bedside crib after her feed and being swaddled, and will go an hour before the next feed, just hoping in time i'll get a bit longer in between!!
Anyway THANK YOU so much for your reassurance. It really is helping. flowersflowers

hubbahubster Mon 03-Nov-14 12:16:49

Having FF DC1, I was sure EBF DC2 would not sleep because she couldn't possibly be as satisfied. I was so wrong! She sleeps way better than her brother did, anywhere from seven to nine hours at night without waking. But for the first few days, it was the same as you, OP - DC2 would only sleep on me, I was dozing and then waking in a panic. She didn't want to go in the Moses basket either. But a week or so in, I could put her down after she dropped off (she tends to posset up a little milk after a feed, so I propped the head end of the basket's rocker so she wasn't flat) and she would stay asleep.

So yes, this stage does end quite quickly. Now mine is 23 weeks, I think back wistfully to those days...

JackieOLantern Wed 05-Nov-14 22:48:04

On Day 5 here and DD just took a nap in her Moses basket for the first time today! Up to now she would only sleep on me or DH so we had to stay awake. It's exhausting. Also cluster feeding is getting going now with DD. Last night she fed almost non-stop from 12 to 4am. I was getting to the point of nodding off with her while feeding, which is not good.

I remember with DS he went through a similar phase of only sleeping on me. We used a sling to get through it. By 3 months he was happily sleeping through 8 hours in his own cot. I'm hoping the same will kick in with DD soon!

OliviaRinHerts Thu 06-Nov-14 23:42:38

We are at the stage now where the Moses basket is in the cot.... Still in our room .. Do we transition fully into the cot this weekend?? Decisions... He settles well and now rarely wakes for a feed at night which I actually miss. DH gave a bottle of expressed milk tonight as I went to the gym (waste of time btw!) but he still wanted boob before settling! That said he is 11 weeks and today he has fed much more often so I'm thinking it is a growth spurt....

It is so lovely now- he latches on all by himself and holds my boob with his hand - so cute.

TheBuggerlugs Fri 07-Nov-14 02:08:33

A swaddle and a Ewan Dream bastard sheep are the 2 things that helped my DD born at 36w settle and sleep in the best nest. She still prefers to be on me or DH but she will settle now.

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