How did you stop breastfeeding toddler DCs?(14 Posts)
Hi everyone. I want to start TTC #2 but currently have no periods due to BF DS 21mo. He's pretty much fed on demand, still, although I've recently instituted a rule about no BF outdoors (completely arbitrary but thought I should start somewhere!). We co-sleep and he feeds at night.
I've read Elizabeth Pantley and Dr Jay Gordon but I was wondering what worked for any of you. DS is a good talker and understands lots of instructions, but I wonder how to have the 'no more boob' talk with him.
For night weaning DS1, Jay Gordon's approach (or something similar, can't remember exactly) worked very well. He was about 20 months as well and was well able to understand the whole idea (even if he wasn't entirely impressed at first). Many daddy cuddles were involved. He didn't wean completely until I was five months pregnant with his brother, at which point he sort of lost interest by himself.
Just knocking the night feeds on the head might be enough to kick start your cycle as it'll give you a big gap with no feeds, especially if you're not feeding much during the day. Have also heard of people encouraging periods back by taking an iron supplement/Floradix, though have no personal experience as my periods were back at 8 and 5 months pp.
With DS1, I used the 'don't offer, don't refuse' method at first, but it took nearly a year to wean him off, so might not be what you're looking for. I did have to get tougher about it when it started going on and on - lots of distraction and never sitting down!
DS2 just forgot one evening and never wanted it again, so that was easy.
I introduced a bottle and sippy cup more often with lots of praise, and finally got her in her own room age 2.1 - so once she was in there she slept through the night, and I didn't offer at night or in the morning. After 3 days of no feeds, I told her next time she asked that mummy milk was "all gone" and offered a bottle, and she never asked again. Some months later, every now and then she'll poke my breast and say "milk all gone", but doesn't seem at all unhappy.
Ds was only 14 months and decided he liked bottles more than me anyway.
I night weaned first with a Jay Gordon-ish method - a few stops and starts at the beginning with teething and colds, but I actually found that once I stopped feeding to sleep/ lying down it only took a few nights (and a few tears in my arms) to go cold turkey from 7-7, and she started sleeping through even though we still coslept! For me that was enough to get my cycle back.
The only way I eventually cut out day feeds was going back to work, as soon as she was away from the boob for 2 days running she lost all interest! Then we left morning and night feeds till she self weaned when I was pregnant with ds2, at about 4 months along. Good luck with ttc!
I did not out of the home for a while too! Then night weaned according to Jay Gordon. Then as he approached 3 years old I warned him there would be no more milk when he was 3. Stopped about 10 days after his third birthday.
He's four next month and still loves the boobs. Gets them out for fiddle whenever he can and if he sees me topless he will try and latch on but has forgotten how to properly.
If I was still doing don't offer/don't refuse I would still be feeding him often, I suspect.
Do remember though that just because you have no periods, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're not ovulating.
I was 8 weeks pregnant with DS2 and threw up whilst DS1 was feeding...he stopped in disgust , didnt ask again for a week and when he did I just said no and we made a song and dance about getting him a cup if milk with a big curly straw.
We d night before by upping daytime milk for 2 weeks before, then just offering water when he woke and walking him up and down holding him upright so he wasnt in a feeding position.
Isn't it the other way round? You can have periods without ovulating but you can't be ovulating without periods. Well, you can in the sense that you will almost certainly ovulate once before your first postpartum period (unless DC is under 6 months, in which case first cycle or two likely to be anovulatory) but once that happens you'll either start having periods again or be pregnant. You can't be ovulating regularly without bleeds.
You lot are the best - thank you!
So, to sum up:
Elaborate straws. Night weaning a la Dr Jay G. Bottle/sippy. Daddy cuddles. If all else fails, throw up on him
All seems eminently feasible. Don't offer/don't refuse never works in this house; I NEVER offer but my boobs appear to be property of DS. Oh, and I work 4 days a week (teacher) so he tends not to have much during the day anyway.
Tiffany the boob-fiddling is driving me to distraction. I cannot stand the twiddling and smushing of nipples/mammaries
Yeah, I think you're probably right about the 'don't offer, don't refuse' business. That'll be why it took me a year to wean DS1 .
Best of luck.
ah, one other thing I would add is that dd and now ds2 have got much worse on the boob twiddling as feeds cut down, maybe it's a comfort thing? Ff ds1 never did this, but I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything... Just to warn you! Ds2 still tries to sleep only with a tiny hand down my top, weaning off this is proving harder than the feeding!
I worked Ft when I night weaned DS. By upping milk intake in the day I meant whatever type of milk he drinks.
And yes, a year after stopping bF, 3 year old DS still sticks his hand down my top at every opportunity!
Ah, superb, lots more twiddling to look forward to!
I've gone back to work this week post-summer-hols and he's now tanking up from 3am onwards, to make up for the unavailable boobs during the day. No-one warns you how hard it is to give up breastfeeding!
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