feeding to sleep

[Misty9]

Dd is 20 weeks old and a boob monster ebf. We started off co sleeping but have gradually moved her into crib attached to the bed, at least for the first part of the night. She's generally a good sleeper with one or two night feeds, but bedtime (or the lack of it) is completely without routine thus far and feeding to sleep seems to be the crux of the problem.

She has no other way of falling asleep it seems. During the day it's a battle to get her to nap, except if she's in the sling on daddy where she'll sleep for hours sometimes. At night she has to be hungry enough to feed to sleep and stay asleep through the perilous transfer to crib. Tonight this failed four times and she's finally gone again on me and I'm not moving her for now.

Did all the same with ds, now three, and as far as I can remember he went into his cot at 5 months and has had a 6.30 bedtime with set routine ever since. I just can't work it out with this one. She needs to be able to fall asleep without boob, for my sanity more than anything else :(

Any tips or words of wisdom? I can't wait to stop breastfeeding at this rate :(

[carolinementzer]

Hiya, My DD was exactly the same - she always fed to sleep and as you say the transfer was an absolute nightmare. I found loads of handy tips to get here asleep without the boob. Here's one of my blog posts on it - we found acupressure (sleep inducing point) and baby massage really good for getting her sleepy. Also me drinking a big dose of herbal tea an hour or 2 before last feed helped too - mydaughterwontsleep.com/2013/12/27/the-sleep-inducing-power-of-acupressure/
mydaughterwontsleep.com/2014/07/12/3-herbs-that-help-your-child-sleep-better/
All children are different are different - some are just attached to the comfort of mummy more than others. Good luck

[hubbahubster]

My DD had similar problems. I found Ewan the dream sheep helped - I set it off as I'm feeding her to sleep and the transfer from my lap in the bedroom to her basket goes much more smoothly. No idea if this will work for you but got to be worth a try!

[Misty9]

Thanks both. Another rubbish bedtime here. Stayed downstairs after last night's mess and she's been asleep in my arms much of the evening, but woke on transfer and have had another failed one since that :( really don't want another night of her sleeping on me.

Bought a slumber buddy thing and the heartbeat sound is on now as I again feed her to sleep. I'll try anything! Except tea...can't stand the stuff.

[IUsedToUseMyHands]

I just bought a really strong cot and got in with LO, fed to sleep then climbed out!

[minkah]

I had this too, with my older son. I don't have a solution for you except to say at some point it organically shifted, without any need for me doing anything.

I sympathise! I'm sure you feel as if it's going to go on for ever!

With second son I had a rocking crib, and the rocking got him through the transition off me and onto what must be a relatively chilly sheet, peacefully.

The rocking crib was very useful!

[Imeg]

I have been in a similar situation where the only ways to get baby to sleep were
a) feed
b) pushchair or car seat

I started getting fed up with feeding to sleep because nobody could help with it and it was taking ages after the actual feed of popping on and off before I finally got him asleep enough to transfer to the cot, but often still woke up when I moved him. So I decided to stop - still did the bedtime feed but if he woke up when I transferred him I didn't put him back on. So then I spent three weeks walking up and down rocking him but although he went to sleep eventually he was very distressed despite being held and also he was too heavy to continue this. So this week we have ended up doing controlled crying - early days to say how it's working but it's definitely the right option for us, though I know generally people say not to do it before 6 months (mine is almost 6m). I did try the supposedly gentler 'settle and leave' type technique but he's so heavy now that repeatedly lifting him in and out is difficult, and also this seemed to distress him a lot more than just popping in without lifting him out.
I think his association between sleep and feeding was so strong that we had to do something fairly drastic to break it. I know people may disagree with this approach but it's right for us.