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Think I want to stop bf but don't know how!!

(9 Posts)
Giraffe5 Wed 09-Jul-14 16:32:17

My lo is 17 months and I think/feel like I want to stop bf now. She is almost asking for bfs and I find it embarrassing. I also blame bf for her being such a fussy eater.

I want to have a mole removed in a month and will be having laser so need to stop for then.

How do I stop? She won't have any cows milk at all unless it's on cereal.

Has anyone any experiences? Please help.

leedy Wed 09-Jul-14 16:51:54

Ok, a few things: Of course you can stop! No child is still BF going to college (I assume!), you've given her a great long run, and if it's not working for you any more it's fine to give a nudge towards finishing up. That said, BF almost certainly has nothing to do with her being a fussy eater, and you can definitely just curtail the "asking in public" day feeds if you want to (Google "nursing manners" for some tips).

DS1 weaned a lot later and DS2 is still feeding, so no specific advice on cutting down feeds for a 17 month old but I've heard things like using lots of distraction ("Let's go and make breakfast!"), not sitting in the usual feeding chair. We did night wean DS1 at around 18 months (DS2, bless him, sort of night weaned himself) using this method, which was very good, if night feeds are still a bother:

Oh, and don't do it too quickly or you'll risk blocked ducts and other nasties.

Also are you sure your mole removal will need you to wean? It just might take some of the pressure off if you know you don't have a deadline, IYKWIM.

Finally she doesn't actually need cow's milk if she doesn't like it, DS1 never had cow's milk except on cereal (or, more recently, if he's been going through one of his crazy hungry growth spurts). As long as they're getting enough fluids and enough of the relevant nutrients eg from other dairy, they'll be grand. I think a lot of people overcomplicate toddler weaning by thinking they have to wean them on to another milk to replace BF, and you don't really at that age, unless they like it.

Good luck!

Bex485 Wed 09-Jul-14 16:53:55

Hmmm you may find that she's not taking milk because at the moment she still has BF as an option. Once that's taken away she'll probably come to accept milk from a cup. In the meantime you could try and find ways of making milk more exciting like buying a special new cup or a funky straw to drink it with or making healthy "milkshakes" with fresh fruit added. Also don't forget whilst milk is important to LOs diets there are other ways of getting calcium into them like, cheese, yogurts and green veg like cabbage and broccoli.

Bex485 Wed 09-Jul-14 16:59:03

Ps... Yes totally agree that toddler weaning gets overcomplicated I spent so long convincing my son to drink cows milk he now drinks too much of the stuff and fills himself up leaving no room for the other equally important food groups ;)

FFSFFS Wed 09-Jul-14 17:04:44

I stopped abruptly with all four of my DC. I waited until a year for the first two and a bit less for the second two. I simply stopped cold turkey. I didn't give them dummies and I didn't give them bottles. I was only feeding them at breakfast time and bedtime when I stopped.

I was completely amazed that they stopped asking within a few days. It just didn't seem a big deal for them at all. The only problem I had was that I got mastitis a couple of times when I stopped so you might want to look out for that.

Giraffe5 Wed 09-Jul-14 19:51:05

Thanks for your replies.

Yes I definitely need to stop feeding before I have the mole removed as i'll have anaesthetic and laser so they won't touch me whilst I'm feeding.

She does sleep through the night luckily and I feed morning and night and sometimes in the day.

I completely admire this who feed after a year or even longer but personally I'm not comfortable doing it the bigger she gets.

dashoflime Wed 09-Jul-14 19:59:10

I stopped abruptly as well.
Like you, OP, I was feeding morning and night.
The morning was easiest to drop because I could use distraction: "Time to get up, lets go downstairs for breakfast"
For the evening feed- I had to let DH do bedtimes for a bit.
He used to feed to sleep so DH cuddled him to sleep instead
Then, after 2 weeks, I stepped back in and did the same thing- bath, story, then cuddle to sleep. He didn't seem to mind not having milk- so long as he still had the comfort and closeness.
I had tits like boulders for a couple of days. I dealt with it by standing in a hot shower and giving them both a good squeeze to reduce the pressure.

CityDweller Wed 09-Jul-14 21:54:49

Is it the laser that is the issue, re. bf? Because you can have general anaesthetic and continue to bf. You don't even need to 'pump and dump'. Anaesthesia has a very short half-life (i.e. it clears out of your system very quickly, hence you waking up!). I had an op under general when DD was about 8 months old. Had op at about 10 am and was home in time for bedtime feed (6pm). The Breastfeeding network has very useful drugs info sheets on what you can and can't take while bf.

PurplePidjin Wed 09-Jul-14 22:11:55 has some great advice. I would start by offering a drink and rice cake/biscuit instead of bf during the day if she's asking. Also make sure you have a busy few days out and about so she's easily distracted. Then drop the morning feed by just not offering; get her up and into the high chair for breakfast - get dh/p to get up with her for a few days if he can to reset things in her mind. How does she nap? If it's in the cot do the same at bedtime, maybe with a story and cuddle first, she might grump a bit the first few days but you can look into gentle sleep training methods to help the transition. Leave a few days/a week in between to give your supply time to adjust. Ds self weaned at 15 months and my boobs barely noticed - be kind to yourself though, the hormones can go haywire I was more screwed up by stopping bf than by giving birth!

As others have said, cows milk is not an essential part of the human diet. Chickpeas (hummus), sardines (get the ones in tomato sauce, remove the bones and mash then use on pasta or in a sandwich, easy peasy!) and green leafy veggies are also good sources of calcium.

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