Am I getting this all wrong - 9mo boob monster

[PrincessChick]

My 9 mo dd is still feeding an awful lot. All of my friends with babies of similar ages seem to be cutting right back, but dd is showing no signs at all. She eats a fair amount of solids, but quite small portions. I think I'm exhausted because she's teething, with the 4th tooth in 6 weeks coming through and the last couple of days she just seems like a newborn. We co-sleep too and I've been up for hours now after refusing another bf (she's back to sleep and to be fair settled after a very short grump) and I think I'm just fretting in the small hours.

A normal(ish) day for her would be:

7am - bf, roll over back to sleep
8.30am - wake for the day, bf
9am - breakfast (porridge + fruit purree / yoghurt + whole fruit), bf
9-11.30 - shower with me, play, potter round while I do chores, sometimes approaches me for a bf
11.30 - feed to sleep. Nap.
1 - wake up, bf
1.15 - lunch (egg / cheese sarnie or beans on toast)
1.15 - 2 - play
2 - 3.30 - go out for the afternoon
3.30 - 4.30 - nap, wake up, bf
4.30 - 5 - play
5 - dinner, bf
5 - 8 - hang out with us, cbeebies, boob with night garden
8 - teeth, pjs, bed, feed to sleep
10 - bf, back to sleep
2/3 - bf, back to sleep
5 - bf, back to sleep

This seems like an awful lot of feeding. I offer lots of water through the day. Plus snacks too. She can take them or leave them. I'm not great on routine and quite go with the flow in terms of what we do day to day (with regards activities and meal times). I really enjoy feeding her and maybe I'm offering too much or I'm too willing if she approaches? One of her favourite things is to watch telly and feed . It's also easier just to feed at night to keep her quiet and happy. We rarely have tears or hours of waking. I've tried to refuse the boob during the day and offer a snack instead but she gets really angry and keeps nuzzling me. I do give in very easily.

Does anyone else's older baby do this? Am I alone? I feel like I'm failing at the moment: baby feeding all.the.time and co- sleeping and not in a routine.

Have I got it all wrong?

[NickyEds]

I make that 12-ish bf a day-it does sound like an awful lot. I think it really depends on how YOU feel about it. If you're happy to carry on then I don't think you're doing anything "wrong" at all. I think that perhaps your baby is using bf for comfort as well as nutrition which is lovely as long as you're happy. My DS is 15 weeks and feeds every 3 ish hours until 10-10.30 at night when he goes till 7am. My HV said that by 6 months all babies can go overnight without feeding but to be honest I think that all babies are different- you know yours best!!!

[TheScience]

Sounds fine to me, certainly within normal - if you're happy to continue then do so!

I night weaned at 9 months but iirc DS1 did something like
5am-7am - boob clusterfeed in bed
pre- am nap breastfeed
post- am nap breastfeed
pre- pm nap breastfeed
post- pm nap breastfeed
late afternoon breastfeed (though this one was probably replaced by a snack soon after)
bedtime breastfeed

Up til 7-8 months he had a 2am breastfeed, and up til 9 months he had a 10pm bottle too.

[Sunflower1985]

My 8mo ds feeds little and often. Similar pattern. It seems to be less socially acceptable somehow, to continue feeding on demand, but I strongly believe if you're happy, and your lo obviously is, then the world can just butt out.
You can go mad second guessing and wondering what affect this and that will have on their long term development.

[PrincessChick]

Thanks ladies. This has made me feel so much better. It really has. I know you shouldn't compare and deep down I'm happy to let her lead - I wouldn't like someone dictating when I could have a sip of water, for example. But when everyone I know / go to groups with is reporting less feeds ie 2 or 3 max or even dropping feeds I just started to feel less structured and sort of like I'm winging everything rather than having a routine / knowing what I'm doing.

Anyway, DD woke up with a raging temperature this morning and it's only just subsided this evening so she's been off solids and just wanting lots of comforting and loads of milk and so I haven't felt so bad about feeding on demand. Your comments have really cheered me up - thank you :)

[TheScience]

DS1 had pretty regular sleep times by 9 months so I just considered feeding him every time he was tired/woke up as a routine

[hedgehogy]

My DD is the same age and bf a similar amount during the day. She uses me for comfort as well as feeding, and still feeds to sleep during the day. She eats three meals a day now as well as drinking water with her meals. I'm happy with this so am going to continue for the time being - I don't care what anyone else thinks.

[AstonishingMouse]

Are you going back to work? Your friends might be cutting back on breastfeeding as they go back to work or prepare to go back to work. I would have done at this stage.

[PrincessChick]

No, I'm not going back to work, so there's no pressure to cut down like some of my friends. I hadn't really thought of it like that. My brain is fried at the moment. That is very obvious. I just keep hearing about cutting down / babies self weaning all the time dd is snuffling at my tshirt and headbutting me in that oh-so subtle way It's nice to know that others are still bf on demand with slightly bigger babies. I just thought that perhaps I'm to quick to offer / haven't been giving enough food or water / should be reducing by now.

[TheScience]

I don't think any babies genuinely self-wean before at least a year old - they wouldn't survive without milk in the wild...

[ouryve]

Most of it sounds fairly normal. Some babies are only even beginning to explore solids at this point. If you're finding it All Too Much, a natural break would be to offer water with solid food instead of breastmilk. Maybe start that when you have another adult to support - you make yourself scarce, at the time and dad, or friend, or sister or grandma, or whoever you can have to hand, presents the meal and a sippy cup of water.

[AstonishingMouse]

Oh well, no problem then if it suits you both. As you are!
I would have been cutting back on daytime feeds and offering water in a sippy cup at this age, but that's because I was going back to work, not because it's the correct way to look after a baby. I carried on with bedtime and nighttime feeds for longer but with 2 of mine, and found it easy to nightwean later, although I know that not everyone does. I enjoyed a snuggly nighttime feed and managed to sleep pretty well.
Whatever works for you both.