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Don't know if I want to stop BF my toddler or not.

(7 Posts)
paperclips Thu 27-Mar-14 22:36:54

Hello

DS is 18 months. He has a breastfeed twice a day, bedtime and first thing (early!) in the morning. He drinks plenty of cows milk in the day. This is kind of working for us. I love cuddling him off to sleep sitting in the quiet at bedtime. He wakes early, around 5.30am then he comes into our bed when he wakes so get another bit of a doze while he has his morning feed (though it never sends him back to sleep anymore).

But what I don't like is the little hands groping me at other times, going "milk milk". I often have to tell him not to put his hands down my top.

In the morning, when I bring him into our bed (at about 5.30am usually) he no longer falls asleep again, he'll carry on for ages and treat me a bit as a dummy, and scream if I try to stop him sucking at me. He can't be getting much milk I doubt my supply is much. He throws a tantrum if we try to give him a cup of milk at this time. I like the bedtime bit but I don't like this bit.

I always said I'd feed up to a year, then it became 18 months, but I kind of hoped he'd self wean. He's showing no signs of doing so.

But I am reluctant to force him to stop, partly because it would be a nightmare and we'd have to face properly sleep training him or something (he'll go to sleep for DH if I'm out but it take ages and lots of fuss). Partly because I'm worried we'd have to get up when he gets up at 5am?. And partly because he's my beautiful pfb little baby and I'm sad about him growing up. It's always going to be sad isn't it?

We are trying for another baby. My boobs were so tender when I was pregnant before- I don't fancy BF a toddler in those early weeks, and I absolutely can't face the idea of tandem feeding. If I'm lucky enough to get pregnant in the next month or two- how do I stop without too much trauma to all of us?

1proudmamma Thu 27-Mar-14 22:49:48

I think it is a hard choice that only you can make as you know what is best for you and your son. With regards to the early mornings you may find that when he stops feeding he stops rising so early just to feed (if that makes sense??) Or push his bedtime back an hour so he sleeps an extra hour in the morning?
You have done so well to feed him for this long and if you do decide to stop bf then you can take comfort in the fact you did it for this long and gave your son a wonderful start.
As for the pregnancy part, i was breast feeding my daughter when i got pregnant with my son and at about 3/4 months pregnant my daughter just stopped breast feeding over night! She didn't like the change in the milk that comes naturally during pregnancy which i am told is very common so maybe that's something to think about?
Good luck with what ever you choose and tonnes of luck with TTC. xxx

10000Fireflies Fri 28-Mar-14 12:47:18

Paper I'm with you on this one. I'm still BF my 21 month old and get pretty fed up at times of the wandering hands. His current favourite pastime while boobing is picking at a skintag which is particularly sore and irritating.

Your morning feed sounds like a real chore. I can't think of any better solutions other than proudmamma's. Unless you can face getting up at 5am and giving him breakfast, or leaving him somewhere to play with his toys until you feel like getting up? (And no, I wouldn't fancy the former either!!) If your boobs really are as painful as that a second time round though I think it will fill you with resolve and you many not find weaning as tough as you thought. We are also TTC and I am hoping that BF isn't limiting our chances, and that perhaps DS is naturally, slowly weaning... and that if I do fall preggers soon he'll go off my milk sooner rather than later. Good luck, and well done for BF so far past his first birthday anyway.

waddleandtoddle Fri 28-Mar-14 12:59:11

The wandering hands are so annoying - always when you are talking to someone important or in the supermarket! Lol!
My son was a couple of months older when I stopped BF, he was the same but I really loved the cuddles. Eventually I started to remove a set routine and interrupting his feed. I basically let him satisfy thirst but not comfort. In the morning I got straight up to give him porridge. He co slept for a while as I would take him to my bed and let him fall asleep with my back to him so he couldn't play with my breasts - I then went downstairs to get on with the rest of my evening. And after approx 2 weeks he wasn't bothered anymore and it felt natural and gentle. Sleep time got longer and he wasn't drinking at night so he was dry at night and quickly potty trained.
He hasn't got over the boob obsession though - he frequently strokes them and professes his love! :-D

10000Fireflies Fri 28-Mar-14 13:14:35

Sounds like a perfect plan waddle. I am guessing they'll never get over their love of boobs!!

weebairn Sat 29-Mar-14 07:56:49

So much of this is my experience too. My DD is 18 months. She also gets up early, and likes a feed. We tried to withhold this feed (DP tried to settle her, or got up with her instead) for a week or so - nope, she still got up at 5am. So actually I am grateful for it, as it means we can all lie in bed as a family till 6 - we wouldn't have that if not for bf.

It was the bedtime feed we recently stopped. I often work late shifts anyway. It's nice that either of us can put her to bed now. For a few weeks, it did take longer than when I bf her and there were some tears, but she got used to it and now she waves goodnight and goes down easy, with either of us.

I am pregnant again now - 14 weeks. My boobs were so sore, hard and huge last time I was pregnant - this time they have not grown and are not sore at all. I can only think this is because of the breastfeeding!! Everyone's experience is different, but I was also dreading this bit and, actually, it's been fine, in fact I think breastfeeding has helped! I don't think I can face tandem feeding either but I'm happy to continue for now.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do - you've done a wonderful thing for your son.

Mumbai33 Mon 31-Mar-14 10:53:56

BF should be an enjoyment not only for the child but also for the mother. So if it's getting too much, try to reduce it slowly (not from one day to the next)

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