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Want to stop breastfeeding...

(12 Posts)
floppops Thu 27-Mar-14 10:44:09

My DS is 2 weeks old and I really would love to stop breastfeeding.
I breastfed my first DD for 2 years. Whilst I found that ok after a few terribly hard months I am not sure it was worth the difficulties we experienced. It took months to establish breastfeeding and to get my milk supply up. I know all about latching, growth spurts, cluster feeding etc. she went on to be and still is a really fussy eater. Was always a difficult sleeper-ok now though at 4 years old-took 3 years to get her to sleep through.
Last time I was so ill with sleep deprivation I really don't want to go through that again. I don't have a good support system and I really miss spending any time with my DD. I can't hug her or put her to bed or bath her anymore as DS is always feeding. I know this won't be for ever but I'm very unhappy with it.
I top up at night with between 10-40 ml of formula and he always falls asleep for 3 hours after. That's the only sleep I get.
My DD was quite a sickly child always getting infections so I'm not convinced about breastfeeding protecting them against illness.
I would love to stop right now but know I will be judged by everyone and my husband in particular.

Onsera3 Thu 27-Mar-14 11:02:37

You have a new baby and a toddler so you must be exhausted.

In the long term I'd hope you would be less exhausted and that maybe DD could come and cuddle up with you for a story or something when the bf becomes a bit more settled. BF may have still helped DD - in fact she may have been more sickly without it.

Do you think that formula would have helped DD sleep better? Many two year olds don't have breast or formula at two so the sleep problems at that age might be unrelated and might not be something you experience for so long again.

You already give some formula so maybe combined feeding will work for you?

It sounds like hard work but it would be a shame to make a decision about it that is influenced by exhaustion that you might wish you could go back on.

Most people I know with more than one child have had very differing experiences with each - eg a fussy colicky baby followed by a easygoing sibling or vice versa. This might still turn out to be the case for you.

I hope you get some rest soon.

squizita Thu 27-Mar-14 11:12:27

I would love to stop right now but know I will be judged by everyone and my husband in particular.

Found this very sad ...DH should be supporting you whatever you do (as you are clearly a responsible, caring parent). Is worrying what he thinks making your stress/tiredness worse- and have you spoken to him about it?

floppops Thu 27-Mar-14 11:21:50

Have been arguing with DH a lot. He now says I can give up breastfeeding if I want to. I'm worried about being judged by everyone who sees me feeding him a bottle. I managed last time to carry on with the breastfeeding but it was so hard and I was very unhappy.

mummyof2boys257 Thu 27-Mar-14 11:28:37

So what if people judge? U have to do what right for u, not what other people think u should do

U want to give babe a bottle? Give him a bottle, want to breastfeed thats fine too!

At the end of the day as long as hes fed thats all that matters. Formula is not poisen, and if it was that bad then it wouldnt be on the shelves!
Just do what u want to do and dont worry about what other people think

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee Thu 27-Mar-14 12:26:27

Just stop if you want to OP. You have BF before so have experience of the problems etc, which may or may not happen this time around. I remember the 2 week mark being particularly hard, and if you were unsure Id say maybe just leave it a little longer to see if things improve, but you sound sure, so just give up. Honestly, its not a big deal in real life, as long as baby is being fed smile

And I have to say my experience of BF and FF is the same as yours - DS1 who was FF from 2 weeks has been fine, DS2 who I bf for 18 months has been to the doctors more times than I have. DS1 was a dream sleeper, DS2 - I could have cried some nights.

BF is brill, we all know its better than FF (its bound to be), but IMO its a bit like Fresh Fruit vs Tinned - fresh is better, but tinned is a fine alternative.

If your 'D' judges you, tell him he is free to try lactating himself. Tosser.

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee Thu 27-Mar-14 12:28:04

erm.... WTAF - just seen that your H has given you 'permission' to stop.

is he always so gracious with what you can and cant do with your own body?

floppops Thu 27-Mar-14 12:32:15

I guess he felt he had a right to an opinion on the breastfeeding re what was best for our son but I have convinced him I need to be sane too.

ThisFenceIsComfy Thu 27-Mar-14 12:37:30

I would give it a couple of weeks so you come out of that post-birth hormonal shocked state and things settle into a routine. You'll get a good idea of life with two LO and you can be absolutely sure that you have made the right decision.

Don't worry about what your husband/family/friends think. They aren't the one breastfeeding so it is of no concern to them. Formula is not poison so you aren't harming your DS in any way if you decide to switch. I say that as someone who is still BFing a toddler. I would totally understand if you chose for you to swap but give it a little more time so you're sure

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee Thu 27-Mar-14 12:48:21

Just stop then OP. You now how it made you feel last time, and your mental health is way more important than BFing. No point in having a BF baby when its mum is a quivering wreck not enjoying what should be the most special time. They really arent babies for long are they sad

Like I say Im not going to suggest leaving it any longer, as no doubt you will have had that from your H and its not what you need to hear, as its just adding to the pressure you are already unfairly under.

So stop OP, so you can enjoy your sweet 2 week old baby, so it still might not sleep very well (I did find FF was like a sleeping pill but its not always the case) , but you'll have the pressure of BF lifted from you so you might be better able to deal with being tired.

And as I say, trust me, IRL people arent that interested. They might be initially because it seems to be fashionable these days to have such an interest in what other women do with their own nipples, but I guarantee you it will soon be old news.

ArtFine Mon 31-Mar-14 12:25:40

Just do it OP. people will always have something to say and judge, honestly just ignore them and put them straight if they've got something to say. If they are willing to do the nights for a year, then tell them youll BF. thatll shut them up. Your daughter needs a healthy mother.

ArtFine Mon 31-Mar-14 12:27:02

Btw I have a 9 month old who is up every hour, has CMPA but will not take a bottle and its a bloody nightmare. I wish I had FF instead of BF, but I put way too much pressure on myself and thought it was the best for my baby. In Hindsight it wasn't the best for either of us.

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