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Just read 'Breastfeeding take two' what other books would you recommend for a second BF attempt

(10 Posts)
KatharineClover Sun 23-Mar-14 19:46:12

Hi everyone, (sorry if this gets a bit long and rambling!)
I'm 15 weeks pregnant with no2 and starting to think about breast feeding. With DS I had multiple issues with breastfeeding: PPH and anaemia for me meaning my milk came in late, which masked DS's tongue tie for a few weeks; we then had to wait another couple for his snip. I was feeding like crazy, feeds took 2 hours (1 hour BF, then top up, winding and lots of sick) and sometimes there would be no break before starting again. I was getting about 2-3 hours max sleep in 24 and also had mild pnd (caused I believe by the feeding issues). I had what I now know to be awful advice from medical professionals for someone who wanted to BF e.g. I was told my son didn't have tongue tie when I queried it at 1 day old, I was told not to bother pumping after feeds as it wouldn't help, I was told top up feeds for a 3 day old should be 70 ml... the list goes on, and I was too ill and tired to question it at the time. My supply took a pounding and I was never able to exclusively breast feed, even after trying fenugreek, pumping after each feed etc. We managed to limp on combi feeding til 20 weeks when I moved over to ff full time.
I never thought I would be lucky enough to get a second chance at breast feeding (because of how I felt about my traumatic birth), but 3 years on here I am pregnant and feeling excited, determined, nervous, worried about breast feeding.
My big worry is that my inability for exclusively breastfeed was not down to circumstances being against me but due to a physical issue with my breasts (they are smallish and didn't change much in pregnancy - at 15 weeks they are now only slightly bigger than pre-pregnancy, maybe up 1 cup size, going bra shopping this week!). Is this possible/ probable / just fear talking? I'm also concerned about having repeat struggles with a busy 3 year old to care for too. And I'm scared of wanting something so desperately again and not being able to do it.
I have read 'Breastfeeding take two' which a friend gave me (who is having a great experience BFing second time around after problems with tt with her first). I wondered if there are any other books (or other ways to prepare) you would recommend? I have a list of local BF support groups at children's centres, and my DH is wonderfully supportive.
Thanks (if you've read this far)!

Sunflower1985 Sun 23-Mar-14 19:51:01

I did find the womanly art of breastfeeding good for dipping in to. Pretty comprehensive. They had it in my library, too, so didn't have to fork out.

eagle2010 Sun 23-Mar-14 20:25:11

A second vote for The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I find it a great help for all aspects of BF plus it has a great "troubleshooting" section to help with any problems.

The KellyMom website is invaluable as is Dr. Jack Newman's website.

Good luck! And congrats!

crikeybadger Sun 23-Mar-14 20:30:37

Agree that Womanly Art is great and well worth a read.

You had a really hard time first time round-lots of issues that you really had no control over. This time though you'll be so much better prepared- you could even write a breastfeeding plan and as tongue ties are often hereditary insist on a check early on. If you can find out who the infant feeding specialist is, then they will usually be very knowledgable about breastfeeding.

The size of your breasts doesn't have any bearing on your milk supply but rarely women can have insufficient milk making tissue. In these cases the breasts are tubular, have a wide space between them and one breast is larger than the other.

It's great that you are really getting prepared, making contacts and are getting mentally

rubyslippers Sun 23-Mar-14 20:31:55

Food of love by Kate Evans

BadPenny Sun 23-Mar-14 22:10:52

In case it helps - I also couldn't exclusively bf my first baby but read various books (including BF Take 2) and websites - when my next one arrived it was like having the identical baby again. Same issues, weight loss, cracked nipples - but don't despair: because I knew what was going wrong straightaway and wasn't relying on all the crazy stuff midwives, paediatricians etc were telling me, it was all sorted out in 3 weeks and we breastfed exclusively till starting BLW around 6 months.

One of the best things I ever read was this (long, but worth it!):

Oh - and my breasts didn't grow much in either pregnancy, so I don't think that's a factor. It's all about getting milk out and then the amazing breasts do the rest.

BertieBotts Sun 23-Mar-14 22:13:27

Food of Love definitely smile

Also lurking and asking every daft question you can think of on here, kellymom as a bible is great, analytical armadillo is good for facts and myth busting although occasionally find her a little militant and anti-bottle which isn't always helpful. The Funny Shaped Woman is excellent on tongue and lip tie. These are all blogs/websites which you can find by googling.

KatharineClover Sun 23-Mar-14 23:13:51

Thanks so so much everyone, I really appreciate the replies. It's so great to read your second time around story badpenny and great that you had such a positive experience. I think part of me just wants to experience things other women have - for instance I was never engorged (I know, be careful what you wish for!). I remember my friend showing me a video of her 3 week old 'milk drunk' when my 3 week old slept that light light sleep of an unsatisfied hungry baby, I felt awful that even with a formula top up too DS was never so wonderfully satisfied ... Oh if I could manage to achieve that this time!
crikeybadger is the infant feeding specialist someone at my hospital? Can I ask to see them or would I have to be referred? Would a breastfeeding plan go with my birth preferences in my notes? I asked my midwife this time if I could request a tongue tie check by someone trained to spot it (the paediatrician I asked to check (as my dad has tt) didn't even look under DS's tongue!) and she said 'to be honest, you'd know best as you've been through it before' and I didn't question it (I get like that around professionals) but I thought I might have experienced it and no to ask for a check but I can't diagnose and refer myself! DS was actually diagnosed by the NCT BF counsellor, so I shall be linking back up with them for their support (earlier rather than later this time!). Thanks for the info about breasts that don't have the tissue to produce enough milk - mine aren't tubular shaped (although one is a bit bigger than the other?).
I think I need to do a little more research and I shall make a reading list and get cracking! smile
Thanks again xx

Ericadm Mon 24-Mar-14 05:19:41

I agree with bad penny. Don't despair as second time around you'll be much better prepared. Like you I had a traumatic birth first time, lost lot of blood and was shell shocked and uncomfortable as full of stitches. I had a very sleepy baby who would not latch and very contrasting advice from midwives who did not have enough time for me. I was not at all prepared about how difficult it could all be and gave up and bottle fed straight away but felt bad about it for months. Second time around I was totally determined. Sure enough i ran into exactly the same difficulties. And I had people trying to undermine me by saying i could not possibly have enough milk because i never leaked, i never engorged, i never felt the letdown reflex etc etc. The first month was extremely hard, and i think estabilishing BF was the most difficult thing i have ever done in my life. I think i had no more than 10 hour sleep in total the whole first week as i had to pump every three hours and cupfeed a not-latching and extremy jaundiced baby. But this time i was prepared for it and that made all the difference. Things that helped me and therefore I recommend are: before baby arrives speak with your local La Leche League leader about your difficulties and how to overcome them should they happen again with the second baby (it also means you have somebody you trust to call as soon as you run into trouble again); chose a better hospital with good bf support if possible; let staff know that you had troubles first time ( otherwise they may assume you dont need help as you are a second time mum and you have bfed before), expkain them that BF is very important to you and that you need lots of support; if you need support at the hospital dont be afraid to ask (i had some lovely bf support workers sitting with me for one hour trying to make baby latch- dont feel bad about it, they are there exactly to help mums in troubles); stay in hospital as long as it takes to establish BF as in my experience once you get discharged you are left to your own device (I stayed 5 nights); get a private room if you can afford it as it will give you more peace and privacy; when you go home don't have any formula at home, it is easy to reach for the bottle at 2 am after a fortnight of almost no sleep when you have a screaming unsatisfied baby and perhaps are pressurised by a worried OH; if you need further help at home I found la leche league leaders the best for advice and support and a lovely one even visited at home as I was not able to easy attend groups; take all the help that is on offer; don't feel guilty about neglecting your first child (I did, she spent lots of time in front of TV whilst I was feeding baby in the first month) as it is only temporary and you'll be able to play with them again soon; trust yourself and your abilities and don'tet anyone undermine you. Hope some of this help. Be strong, you can and will do it this time!

crikeybadger Mon 24-Mar-14 11:53:42

Blimey-you were meant to diagnose the tongue tie KatharineClover?! Well to be fair sounds like you would have been better at it than the paed if they didn't look under the tongueconfused.

Yes, most hospitals have infant feeding specialists I'm pretty sure. Where we are there is one who works in the hospital and one who works in the community. I can't see why you couldn't seek them out beforehand and talk to them about your concerns.

The breastfeeding plan could certainly go with your birth plan/notes. If you google Australian Breastfeeding Association and breastfeeding plan you will find some templates.

Really hope everything goes well for you this time smile

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