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How do I stop BFing? Please help :(

(9 Posts)
Elfina Fri 21-Mar-14 10:39:31

DD is nearly 17m. She is fed on demand when I'm with her (I work 3 days a week), which feels like all the time. She also feeds during the night (co sleep) I'm beginning to resent it. She doesn't eat, probably due to the amount of milk she has. She eats at nursery so I know she can do it.

I want to change to before sleep and when she wakes up (so morning and evening and once or twice in the day when I'm not at work). I've lived BFing but in beginning to feel like a cow. She's very rough and pulls my nipples and hits me (I've tried to say no, but she laughs).

Is there a way of reducing feeding that's not going to cause her distress? Whenever I've said no before she really cries - it's awful and it's felt like I'm rejecting her.

Please help, I feel really stuck and I think it's impacting on our relationship sad

crikeybadger Fri 21-Mar-14 10:48:54

If you google Dr Jay Gordon and nightweaning, there is a suggestion there for how to do it.

Also do have a look at Milk meg as she gives good suggestions for how to stop feeding at night.

In the day-could you try distracting her or changing the routine slightly. Others have found that counting down from 10 can help end the feed.

There is also a book called Nursies when the sun shines but I 'm
not sure where you can find it.

High

leedy Fri 21-Mar-14 11:23:26

Seconding the Dr Jay Gordon rec: drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

Biccietin Fri 21-Mar-14 11:40:56

Do you co-sleep all night? If you fed her to sleep at bedtime, would she maybe then sleep longer if she was in her own bed, rather than with you? You could then bring her in with you later, say if she wakes in the early hours, then co-sleep/ bf until later. She might wake less often if you're not next to her. You then might find you gradually are bringing her in later and later.

I managed to get ds to cut down on daytime feeds mostly by distracting him when he asked for it. Now he mostly only has it for bedtime and wake-up times (he's 18m). Luckily though he's always been a good eater at mealtimes and he will drink milk in a beaker. He does like to stick his hands down my top which annoys the hell out of me. Polo-neck jumpers?

Elfina Fri 21-Mar-14 12:24:22

Thanks all. To be honest, I'm okay with the night feeds at the moment, it's definitely the day time stuff I want to reduce down.

Elfina Fri 21-Mar-14 12:25:18

And yes to wandering hands! I'm so fed up of having my nipples tweaked!

SquidgersMummy Fri 21-Mar-14 14:58:23

Hello. My dd is 19mths and guess what I was just about to post about!! smile Just to say my dd has eczema and so we went on to Oatmilk in the day fm 1 yr (rec fm Paediatrician of course) so we had some milk alternative whilst I was at work. I still feed at bedtime and a gizzilion times a night but dd will accept in the day she has milk from a bottle. We use the Tommee Tippee closer to breastfeeding ones - to be fair the teat is pretty booby like and she laps at it like she is breastfeeding. It did take a week of DH being at home in the day to get her to accept it. Just thought I would mention it. Have you tried a diff milk to give you a break in the day?

However still lots of nipple tweaking here confused x

SquidgersMummy Fri 21-Mar-14 15:00:34

(Before I get blasted for using a bottle at this age I will point out my dd has a milk allergy therefore needs a drink of milk for her calcium....)

kkag Fri 21-Mar-14 15:13:41

Just stop. Surely she's old enough to understand the word no by now? And let her sleep in her own bed/cot so she feels more grown up. Might not like the idea at first but as her parent it's up to you to set boundaries and decide what's ok and what isn't. As far as impacting on your relationship is concerned, I think kids need to accept that parents make decisions for their wellbeing and that of the wider family. It's a good lesson to learn I think.

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