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I can't do this!

(24 Posts)
FredFlintstonesSister Fri 28-Feb-14 06:57:35

My baby was born on Monday February 24th. She seemed to feed ok in hospital and we came home Tuesday. Since being at home I can't get her to latch on right and she only feeds for five minutes at a time. I can do it when shown by midwife, but 2 hours later have forgotten it all again. What can I do?

Wishfulmakeupping Fri 28-Feb-14 07:04:04

Keep asking the midwives/health visitors I had them round a couple of times and then a few times at home- they will be happy to help so don't feel embarrassed to ask.
Also I found the breastfeeding helpline a massive help when I was having problems in the early days.
Have they shown you different positions? I had to try a few ways before it felt right.
Good luck

PeanutPatty Fri 28-Feb-14 07:08:17

Can you get to a bf clinic?

Bumpiemalumpie Fri 28-Feb-14 07:09:20

OK. firstly. congratulations! Secondly, welcome to the world of normal newborn stresses!

I was told that breastfeeding is like climbing many mountains one after the other with no breaks! its true, it is hard, relentless and exhausting!


once you have cracked it, it is the best thing in the world.

So. when does your midwife come today? be honest and open, ask about support groups and other networks. Your midwife is there to help

Also, Google kellymum and go on YouTube for demos.

If you want to do it, you will and we will support you along the way!

p.s I have just written that reply whilst bf my four week old after latch problems at the beginning!biscuit brew thanks thanks

FredFlintstonesSister Fri 28-Feb-14 07:16:09

My midwife is coming round at 9.30. She's concerned because the baby has lost just over 10% of her birth weight. Part of my problem might be that my stitches (episiotomy) are really sore when I sit for any length of time in one position. Also my nipples really hurt now! She seems so reluctant to feed that I am putting up with bad latch cos I can see she is getting a little milk.

AuditAngel Fri 28-Feb-14 07:17:47


What position are you holding her in? Some babies like different positions. The link below is just a google search with some pictures.

I often swapped to rugby ball position (under arm) if any of my 3 were fussing. But, please don't feel you are alone, with DC3 (after bf her siblings) I started off syringe feeding her expressed milk as she wouldn't latch on, she was premature (36 weeks) and a CS and too lazy. She did get there though and she bf for 4 months.

I echo what others have said, get the midwife back, or try to get to a bf clinic. Do you have a friend who may have breast fed who can give you some moral support?

Potol Fri 28-Feb-14 07:18:34

YouTube. Bf clinic. And when you go to the latter video what they show you. I was too spaced out post birth and in hospital DH videoed what the breastfeeding nurses said. So I could then look at it in my own time. Also if it helps to think of it this way your baby is learning a skill as well, possibly the first thing that she has to 'learn' that takes time. I sort of thought about it as teaching my baby to breastfeed and it took the pressure of me (as opposed to my learning how to do it).

Bumpiemalumpie Fri 28-Feb-14 07:19:44

Hi my lo lost 11% initially, I felt like the worse mum in the world. But it gets better.

Ask the mW to support you with the laying down technique so you don't irritate your stitches. Plus I find lo latches better and I can dose!

ShoeWhore Fri 28-Feb-14 07:22:35

Hi Fred congratulations!

I know how tempting it is but please don't put up with a bad latch. It won't help you or your baby.

The good thing is you have successfully latched her on so you can both do it. I posted a description of exaggerated attachment last night, hang on a minute and I'll go and find it. It might help.

Could you get to some RL help today (or soon)? Ideally a bfing specialist rather than a mw? Mws can sometimes tend to get the baby on the boob, whereas a bfing person will focus on getting you to do it.

MigGril Fri 28-Feb-14 07:23:35

if your stitches hurt when sitting try learning to feed lying down, also a vally cousion mite help to. please keep asking for help, you should be able to ask to see the infant feeding coordinator at your local hospital. They have more training the the midwives in breastfeeding support.

Our you can contact any of the national charities, NCT, LLL, BfN or thugs NHS national breastfeeding helpline.

marmitecat Fri 28-Feb-14 07:25:06

I found it easiest to feed lying down as I then had both hands to coordinate positioning ds. Good luck. I remember feeling awful in the early days.

ShoeWhore Fri 28-Feb-14 07:26:28

Found my post from last night - sorry it refers to him all way through but other poster had a boy! This is what worked for me: it's called exaggerated attachment (and is easier to do than describe!) Get your hand under your boob so you are holding it around the outside of your nipple in a U shape. When your baby opens his mouth, aim his lower lip for the very outside edge of the darker bit and quickly flip his head round (think like the action you would make if really exaggerating taking a big bite out of an apple) - at the same time kind of roll the nipple into his mouth. He should get a really big mouthful.

If you aren't happy with the latch then don't be scared to take him off and start again. HTH.

ShoeWhore Fri 28-Feb-14 07:33:59

Have a look at for good advice on attachment too.

GuineaPigGaiters Fri 28-Feb-14 07:34:42

Keep at it. This is always a hard point in bf, even if not with your first fact I found it harder seco d time round.
Get some Lansinoh for your nips, it was the only thing that worked for me.
Don't be afraid to keep trying, and most importantly talk to your HV about how long babies feed for. Both of mine only ever fed for a max 10 -15 minutes at a time (often much less) my let down reflex was like a water canon and I could hear them gulping like mad to keep up. One grew like the clappers, one was a slow grower. Both had the same boobs.
All children are different, yours might just feed for shorter periods but want to feed more often. Just go with it and don't expect either of you to be in a 'feed every four hours' schedule... Because it doesn't work like that for every one.

FredFlintstonesSister Fri 28-Feb-14 07:36:23

Thanks everyone. I'll ask about breast feeding specialist when the midwife comes this morning. My sister should me the lying down position a few days ago and I initially got it. I have since been unable to do it - can't figure out where my arm goes, can't move her easily, panic, cry - and she won't be back until Monday. I will keep trying. Shoewhore, you are right about the latch,I just worry that this might be the best she does all day. If I break the latch she often loses interest altogether.

whereisshe Fri 28-Feb-14 07:36:48

Congratulations! I remember how hard those first few days were, hang in there. It gets better, much better. When your baby gives you a cheeky grin while they're feeding it's such an amazing feeling.

Has your midwife shown you how to adjust the latch without taking baby off boob? Mine did and it was very useful, also your nipples get less abuse that way. You kind of wiggle the baby around so they're angled right and in the right place relative to your nipple.

Also get Lansinoh - it's a life saver on sore nipples, apply liberally and regularly! And a foam donut cushion for your stitches - I couldn't sit properly for a few weeks after birth and my donut cushion was wonderful.

I wouldn't worry too much about the 10 minute feeds (newborns have tiny stomachs) unless the midwife or bf specialist thinks it's an issue - DD stayed on short frequent feeds until about 8 weeks (about 20 feeds a day) and she gained weight well doing it. Just make sure you don't swap boobs - use the same boob for a few feeds then swap. If you swap too often they can fail to get the fattier milk, there's a good kellymom article about it.

DeathMetalMum Fri 28-Feb-14 07:38:14

In our area bf consultants (he ones who run the bf clinic/group) come out to your house if needed. I had someone out to see me every day for four days shortly after dd1 was born, find out if anything similar is in place where you are. They would have come longer if needed but bf clinic was the next day in my area.

callamia Fri 28-Feb-14 07:49:12

Congratulations on your lovely new daughter!
I felt a bit emotional reading your posts because I was you a few months ago - I just couldn't get my head around coordinating my arms to positions to feed in. I cried a lot.

When my son was a week old, I went to every bf cafe I could find. Every time I went I felt a bit more confident and a bit more like I got it. Get as much real life help as you can, and (easier said than done) don't worry about repositioning, or breaking a bad latch. I used to put up with bad latch because anything was better than nothing, but I realised that was false economy for both of us. She won't lose interest for long (it just feels like that). Good luck

BetterWithCheese Fri 28-Feb-14 07:53:08

Fred- I struggled with feeding lying down, I've never mastered it with either of mine. If I get them latched on right I end up with my back in a weird position which hurts. Donut cushion or even just some soft pillows could help.

I've just had my second and we had a not very good, pain-inducing latch until I saw this video on exaggerated latching or "flipple" technique which helped enormously. It was linked by someone on here, so if you're reading thank you! thanks

Bumbez Fri 28-Feb-14 08:05:35

Just a thought but has your milk come in, making your boobs more full, flatter nipple therefore more difficult to latch?

If that's the case get hot flannels as hot as you can bear- massage the boob and draw off excess milk till boob is soft.

Congratulations by the way smile

Bumpiemalumpie Fri 28-Feb-14 12:25:53

hey op, how did it go with your midwife?

FredFlintstonesSister Sun 02-Mar-14 10:06:03

Sorry I didn't repost - its hectic here! Doing better with getting a decent latch. YouTube videos have helped and I keep pestering the midwife to show me the cradle hold over and over again! She has managed to gain some weight so the midwife is much happier. Thanks to everyone for the help and support.

Bumpiemalumpie Sun 02-Mar-14 21:58:05

oh well done. I am pleased! The midwife is there to be badgered so do not worry.

in preparation for when she discharges you and little one, ask about local support groups so you can find some support and guidance as believe me, there will be times when you will need it!!

well done and good luck x

Mim78 Mon 03-Mar-14 12:25:45

Hi op

Just saying hello as my ds was born on 23rd feb.

In similar position to you - had 9% weight loss last week and green poo but now had a gain. I have small birth weight baby though, however latch is ok. Just need to bf all the time( feels like). X

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