co sleeping with a toddler and newborn(12 Posts)
Posting in here because it seems breastfeeders are mire likely co sleepers and because I'm still breastfeeding ds (20 mo) through the night.
So hws anyone done this and still been breastfeeding both? I have a feeling I am setting myself up for a hard time!
Hmmm...maybe I'll try the sleep section or maybe most of you don't do this? !
No advice as I've only got a 6mo, but I imagine big bed, newborn on the outside with a clip on crib and 20mo on the inside, then roll over as required? Or you in the middle, lo either side and DH at your feet
Sorry didn't explain too well not got the newborn yet! I'm 19 weeks pregnant, baby due in july...just thinking ahead.
We have the big bed (super king) but we also have a very wakeful very fidgety (every 40 mins not unusual) still breastfeeding toddler (will be 2)
He likes to climb all over me and get into a comfy position to feed when he wakes and change that position every 20 seconds! Its not always this bad, butboften enough for me to worry about whether its even going to be practically possible to have two of them in bed together.
We can do the cot attached to side of bed thing but ds has never taken to this and whenever he was away from me more than an arms lengty he woild wake after 10 mins. ..he is a particularly bad sleeper and I can live in hope that my next is better but what if they're not?!
My 2.7+yo didn't really stop his part-time co-sleeping with us after DS3 was born. He doesn't still feed but often spends several hours in our bed.
At first I had DS3 in the Moses basket nearly level with my bed. Now he is in a cradle slightly further away. After 5am he doesn't like to settle in his own bed but will sleep past 8am in our bed if not jumped on.
Night feeds I lift DS3, feed, and replace.
When I have both in bed with me I have duvet to my waist ish, tucked in under my hips on baby's side (the outside). Baby is in a sleeping bag on the outside. Once he can roll I will put the bedguard on. DS2 sleeps between me and DH if he comes in, and snuggles under or over the duvet depending on his comfort.
We have an enormous superking though. I wouldn't attempt it with a smaller bed, and indeed it was bought specifically with co-sleeping in mind.
I like the dh at my feet idea...where he should be ;) bed is as wide as it's long so should work!
Wean ur toddler off night feeds! She is old enough to sleep through with out feeding. She needs to sleep properly at night and I'm sure the newborn will wake her a lot if she sleeps in bed with you both.
Yes I coslept with a toddler and a newborn, tandem feeding too.
Yes I coslept with a 20 month old and newborn, tandem feeding. Honestly if you can get your toddler to drop the night feeds it will make life easier. We did this when DS2 was a couple of months old, DH dealt with DS1 night wakings and it took a couple of weeks but he now sleeps better than I ever thought possible. I wish I'd done it before DS2 arrived. I continued to tandem feed, just not all night!
Good luck, you'll work something out between the 4 of you!
Thanks all, im not keen on dropping night feeds mamma I would say that the need for comfort and feeling secure are as valid as the need for thirst/hunger...and in fact having just gone through him not eating or drinking anything except breastmilk for 2 weeks he needed those night feeds for sustenance too! He will wake less when he is not hungry/thirsty And then I don't like denying him of whatever else it is he is waking for IYSWIM. He has tongue and lip tie and this has meant he has adapted to take very small amounts of milk at a time...he only gets actual milk for about 20 seconds...and breastfeeding has been really traumatic for us both really so I'm reluctant to deny him. In the day I can manage to distract him sometimes but at nigt he gets extremely distressed and I dont want that.
Anyway, so nancy and atthestroke both of you tandem fed and co slept at night? nancy did you have an issue with jealously when you stopped feeding your toddler at night? Ive hard that tandem feeding helps with jealousy of new baby but imagine if I stopped when baby was a few months old all hell would break loose! !
Yes it wasn't easy stoping the night feeds, there were a few loud nights, which is why I would stop the night feeding before the new baby arrives (this is my personal view if I were to do it again!)
I completely understand your reasons for not dropping the night feeds and I had similar views whilst pregnant. What I wasn't prepared for was how my feelings would change when I had a new tiny baby. My 20 month old looked huge by comparison, I started limiting his feeds as I was scared there wouldn't be enough milk for the baby and that was worse. (He had a suck like a Hoover compared to the baby's gentle sucking!) So for me cutting out the night feed meant I could feed the baby ( all night) and feel less guilty about feeding DS1 during the day. I still occasionally tandem feed them both aged 46 months and 25 months (no one in RL except DH knows) and they hold hands and stroke one anothers faces. I'm glad I persisted!
I tried cosleeping with two (though not breast feeding - dd is nearly 3 and self-weaned while I was pregnant. After ds was born, dd kept coming into the bed for comfort. I was going with it to start with, but found I couldn't relax and sleep for fear of her squashing ds (she's loved him from the start and gives him very enthusiastic 'cuddles' and would climb over me to try to cuddle him in the night, which stressed me out and woke ds more than he was already waking.) I think how safe you feel depends on the toddler and whether they'd stay in one place.
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