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I guess this is goodbye breastfeeding

(13 Posts)
sprite25 Sat 08-Feb-14 19:21:36

I've posted in here a few times so apologies if I'm repeating myself. DD is 8 weeks, we've had problems with breastfeeding from the start and my last hope was to see an NCT breastfeeding counsellor at my local group. I thought that DD was at least latching on properly which was giving me some hope but the counsellor watched me trying to feed her and said she's not latching on properly and is just on the end of the nipple. My heart sank at this comment and it was the only thing I had left that was keeping me believing that it could all work out. I feel physically, emotionally and mentally drained by the constant struggle that has been breastfeeding since DD was born. I hate the feelings of guilt and failure and will hate giving up going to the breastfeeding group as it was my only chance to meet other mums but I really don't think I can do it anymore and think it's time to accept that it's just never going to happen. I don't have a question just had to get it off my chest I guess

OwlCapone Sat 08-Feb-14 19:26:29

Did she offer any advice on how to get her to latch properly? It doesn't have to be the end if you don't want it to be but you shouldn't feel guilt at stopping if it is making you ill.

marmitecat Sat 08-Feb-14 19:27:15

<hugs> I'm impressed you got to 8w if it's been really hard. I found the latch really tricky with DS1, but by DS2 I'd got used to shoving a massive handful of breast into his mouth. I found some videos online were really helpful. I can remember fearing the pain every time DS1 tried to latch, and as a result I was very hesitant and he just got too little of the breast to feed properly.

I hope things work out, whichever way you decide to feed your baby. It's so hard with all the expectations, and then the sleep deprivation and the dirty nappies and the crying all the time.... It gets better though, and please know you're not alone.

OwlCapone Sat 08-Feb-14 19:28:25

I think breastfeedin my first was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

antiabz Sat 08-Feb-14 19:31:18

Well done for getting to 8 weeks!

Honestly don't feel any guilt or a failure if you have to switch! I bf dd to 11 months but after just switching to formula wished I'd just done that in the first place!

I'd spent 10 months miserable and so stressed out I think bf was a major factor in my pnd. And she was just as happy/ thrived on bottles.

So don't beat yourself up. Your happiness and your families is more important than bf smile

AnythingNotEverything Sat 08-Feb-14 19:36:56

Sprite I think I remember your early threads. Were you shown how to latch better?

sprite25 Sat 08-Feb-14 21:37:02

She made some suggestions and told me about some videos online for an exaggerated latch but its all things I knew about and have already tried. I think DD has just got bottle lazy (had to formula top up for health reasons) and I don't think I have it in me anymore to fight against it everytime she needs feeding. I had some amazing support and great info given to me on here and think I would of given up long ago without it

AnythingNotEverything Sat 08-Feb-14 23:21:45

It really is entirely up to you sprite - only you know whether you have the energy to keep trying and/or find more support and advice.

If you are able to express, you could mix feed for a bit if you wanted. I would think your supply would be settled enough now to cope with a couple of expressing sessions per day.

Honestly - do what's right for you.

molloch1 Sun 09-Feb-14 04:25:34

Hi Sprite. I can empathise because after 4 wks I am in pain throughout and even in between breastfeeds and still don't know the cause. My sister in law said she finally got the latch right after 10wks - an eternity to me! It seems there are different levels of difficulty for different people, so you absolutely must not compare yourself to others - comparison is a major cause of the guilt. Look at your achievement. You have given your baby 8 whole weeks of breast milk! That is great for him/her. You have shown dedication and love by persevering thus far. You have tried a lot of avenues. What more can you do? You have put his/her needs above your own comfort. But if you become ill s/he will suffer, so in order to keep putting his/her needs first, your obligation is to make sure you are in good condition. Keep it simple. Formula is nutritious and your baby needs nutrition. A happy mum can keep her baby happy more easily. Once you get over the difficult transition to formula, you'll be happier. Good luck from the bottom of my heart.

sprite25 Sun 09-Feb-14 10:40:29

I have tried expressing using a pump and by hand but could never get to grips with it and could only get an ounce at most but would end up with sore blanched nipples. The NCT counsellor said that DD also has a high pallette which can make latching even harder? Last night and this morning was the 1st time we went straight to formula without offering the breast 1st, I still feel quite sad about it but I guess in time I won't even think about it

ReluctantCamper Sun 09-Feb-14 12:36:29

sprite, I went to ff at about 8 weeks too. I'd ff'd DS a bit to get his weight up, and he got to the point where he didn't understand why he should work hard for little milk(bf) when he could have loads of milk easily (ff). I cried when I switched, but my life got so much better. DS is completely fine (3 now) and very healthy. you and your baby will be fine which ever way you end up feeding. good luck.

jane1995 Sun 09-Feb-14 14:03:51

try using a nipple shield, ds latched on once and never again but fed a treat with the nipple shield

Superworm Sun 09-Feb-14 17:28:42

DS has always been a nipple feeder. He has a tongue tie that was snipped three times but still grew back. I used to have to hold him on the boob or he would slip off.

Tbh by the time he got to 10 weeks ish he had grown enough that it didn't matter. After that it has been a breeze. It was very stressful before then though, so I feel for you.

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