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Exclusive breastfeeding

(30 Posts)
Emmas37 Tue 04-Feb-14 22:51:47

My baby is 16 weeks today I breastfed exclusively. Which is working well, I breastfed my other two exclusively and wanted the same benefits for baby no.3 I'm an experienced breast feeding mother!! However baby's dad took baby to visit his mum who gave my baby another baby's bottle -his mums foster baby's bottle of formula ... -Without me knowing .. I smelt his mums perfume and noticed my baby was a lot drowsier than usual so I guessed and asked, they never told me! I'm upset they fed my baby against my wishes ...they think he's the dad it was their right!! I think a mother and baby has the right to breastfeed exclusively .. They don't understand does anyone else think this wrong and is a matter of trust!

easterbaby Tue 04-Feb-14 22:57:11

That's shocking. sad I'm really sorry Emma - there's no excuse for that. It undermines you and your decision on how to feed your baby. I'd be furious.

DaleyBump Tue 04-Feb-14 22:57:34

Did you give them expressed breastmilk to feed to him while he was away?

Emmas37 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:12:20

He told me he was going to see his friend then pick up kids I had no reason to give a bottle of expressed.. It was the first time he had taken him to his mum without me and the first time he'd had baby out and about himself without me !!!he was only away 2 hours no need for a feed. I feel terrible as it was such a selfish thing to do I always feel they think they are missing out because myself and baby have such a strong bond!

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Tue 04-Feb-14 23:16:46

I'd be upset too.

DaleyBump Tue 04-Feb-14 23:20:52

I would be upset too (9 week old DS is ebf) but if your little one was hungry and your partner didn't have any breast milk on him then surely formula was the only option? Babies don't always stick to a schedule.

Emmas37 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:27:24

Yes but I was only 10 min away in house it have been easier bringing him home or I should have been asked ... Or we as parents discussed it ... His mother gave him a bottle of formula that was her foster child's bottle without checking with me ...

Tilly2014 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:32:46

Oh Emma, I would be so upset too - I feel for you. If my MIL did that I would be furious - at the very least I would expect to be consulted - it could have caused tummy upset or interfered with BF'ing. Have you told him/them how you feel? X

Emmas37 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:34:52

Surely most fathers have brought baby home.??. Thanks for all comments .xx I just wondered how other exclusive breastfeeding mothers would feel having the decision taken behind their back !!

Emmas37 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:36:05

Thanks Tilly yes and the reply I got for his gran was sorry I won't feed him again!

yummymumtobe Tue 04-Feb-14 23:37:07

That is terrible and I am cross on your behalf! They should have checked with you first if there was an urgent need - could you have got round there quickly? I think sometimes people rush to feed babies just to quieten them. As you say, 2 hrs without a feed isn't long at that age.

Emmas37 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:38:34

It was the first time I had felt comfortable letting baby go out and was so grateful for a wee break and this I what happened!! ��

Emmas37 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:44:08

He never told me he was going to his mums or I would have expressed! Even then it's only 10 min away ... Im also annoyed they were not going to tell me ., I guessed.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Tue 04-Feb-14 23:44:37

Oh my, I'd have been livid. Am EBF DC2 who's a similar age to your baby and I would be devastated if DH sanctioned someone giving him formula unnecessarily. I have nothing against formula per se - just that in this instance there was no need and you should definitely have been consulted. What's your DH said about it since?

Emmas37 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:56:38

Dad thinks it's his right to feed the baby but he would never have formula fed if his mum hadn't given him it.he wouldn't have done it in front of me!!! ..I am not against formula at all but when breast feeding is going well and the mother wants to do it .. I can't believe anyone would give a breastfed baby another baby's formula!

Emmas37 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:57:07

What should I do? Xx

mellojello Wed 05-Feb-14 00:01:12

I wouldn't speak to her again thats for certain, well actually Id tell her how disgusted I am with her first.

I mix feed, so Its not because its formula, its her total lack if fucking respect, I really cant believe it!

Emmas37 Wed 05-Feb-14 00:06:47

I really don't want to cause any fall out ..but I feel so let down ... They had no right to feed him , surely any sensible person would never if anything to a baby without consulting mother .. I wonder if they thought I wouldn't guess?!!!

Emmas37 Wed 05-Feb-14 00:08:51

...... I agree it's total lack of respect!!

mellojello Wed 05-Feb-14 00:28:21

How would you know if it was the first time? And will they do it again, I could scream sad

Wibblypiglikesbananas Wed 05-Feb-14 00:31:47

I would make it very clear to your DH just how betrayed you feel. Whilst his mum might have given him the bottle and formula, ultimately he could have said no, or that he'd check with you. He chose not to. Whilst his mum might have got her big wooden spoon out to stir, he had the ultimate say.

How's your DC now? Has the formala upset his tummy? That's what I'd be most worried about to be honest - that and engorged boobs!

Emmas37 Wed 05-Feb-14 00:33:41

Exactly .They have broken my trust ... And showed it's more about what they wanted than what was best for's such a shame!

Wibblypiglikesbananas Wed 05-Feb-14 00:34:42

Also, it's pretty stupid of them not to tell you about the formula. Imagine if he'd had a reaction to it and you didn't know/couldn't tell a doctor/thought he'd gone off breast milk etc? Seriously, I think it's your DH you need to be having words with.

Emmas37 Wed 05-Feb-14 00:39:32

Yes his dad was in charge of the situation and should not have taken a bottle and formula off his mum! He had been sick a couple of times (small amount)and sleepy ...I think it's important they accept they've betrayed me but I don't think the see how big a deal this is!

mellojello Wed 05-Feb-14 00:45:28

If she thinks she can do this, she sounds the type who will be giving him solids as soon as she can.

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