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What are the good things about babies being on formula..? Have a feeling my ds is going to end up on formula

(60 Posts)
whiteandyellowiris Wed 16-Oct-13 20:37:41

So trying to see the bright sides

So far can think of at weekends hd can help with night feeds

And I don't have to wear clothes where I can get to my boobs all the time

But I like the way bf all the baby really wants is his mummy for the milk and it's something else only I can do so granny's can't interfere too much

And I like the way I get to sit a lot bf

It's a good excuse for a rest

ExBrightonBell Wed 16-Oct-13 20:53:03

Why do you think you will formula fed your ds when it sounds like you don't really want to?

LindsayS79 Wed 16-Oct-13 20:55:51

I tried bf and failed so I'm not a proud ff mum but it meant my DD was in a position to gain weight (lost 10% and we were re-admitted to hospital.) Here are my personal pros:
Baby gains weight if having issues with bf
You can still chill and give formula! We have a good cuddle while I feed her!
Hubby can take a turn to feed her while I have a shower/nap etc!
You can just hand over instant formula if you get a babysitter. No time spent to express.
Sleeps well through the night as so full up from feeding during the day!
I can enjoy an unplanned glass of wine if out for lunch...

As I say, these are all personal pros and I'm still a bit gutted bf didn't work out but I put my LO's health first and was so eager for her to gain weight. She's a wee chubber now and my GP is so happy with that!!

curlew Wed 16-Oct-13 21:01:53

Why do you think he might end up ff?

Lindsay-if you have another baby and want to bf, it does sound as if you had crap advice- losing 10% is not necessarily a reason for giving up- there are loads of things you could try first. But I know how lovely and reassuring having a chubby baby is!

EnidClowes Wed 16-Oct-13 21:03:54

I stopped feeding at 9 weeks (was heartbroken) and for the next few months (up to around 6 months I think) only DH and I would feed DD. I would cradle her as if breast feeding, holding her close and giving lots of contact and DH would try to do the same. Grannies/ no one else fed her because I wanted that close bond and association you mentioned. everyone was respectful of this.Just because you FF doesn't mean you have to pass the baby around with the bottle. Stand your ground.
Good luck OP and if you do want to bf, it might be worth looking into support groups etc. they kept me going a lot longer than I would have on my own.

whiteandyellowiris Wed 16-Oct-13 21:06:03

Because he's list ten percent of his body weight in five days

whiteandyellowiris Wed 16-Oct-13 21:06:25

I have another thread about his weight loss on here

whiteandyellowiris Wed 16-Oct-13 21:06:49

So I'm just trying to think of the positives if bf doesn't work out for us

whiteandyellowiris Wed 16-Oct-13 21:09:36

Oh another positive would be could take some strong painkillers only had a c section six days ago

Ragwort Wed 16-Oct-13 21:09:40

I ended up mix feeding which for some reason is not encouraged at all - my DS was also losing weight but I did one formula feed a day plus breast feeding - can't remember the details as it was 12 years ago. Mixed feeding is a really good option - you get the benefits of breast feeding plus enabling DH/DP to share the feeding and you get more rest. Why not look into this before giving up all together (if it's something you want to do) - otherwise, don't beat yourself up over this. smile.

ShreddedHoops Wed 16-Oct-13 21:11:38

Proud ff-er here! smile

- you don't have to pass him to all and sundry - me and DH are the only ones who've fed DS, always in a cuddle, and he's nearly 2.

- he will most likely sleep much better at night. Shoot me, but it's true.

- you can go out for a day or an evening and leave baby with DH. Will save your sanity - well it did mine! You don't need to be a martyr to be a fab mum, and feeding is one of the things that can make you feel like one.

- gin grin

whiteandyellowiris Wed 16-Oct-13 21:11:58

Enid thanks that's a great point

There's no reason I have to let grannies etc fed him

I can just say that's mine and dhs job

Ragwort Wed 16-Oct-13 21:12:35

white - please read this - I also had a c section (emergency) and no one told me that it was really hard to establish breast feeding after a c section - something to do with hormones/goodness knows what. I was not allowed to leave hospital as DS was losing weight, in the end my DH had to shout at the midwives to 'allow' me to give DS some formula. When we got home it was much easier to establish breast feeding but it did take 2-3 weeks and then as I mentioned earlier, I did mix feed.

Do not be disheartened, it could all work out for you if you only gave birth 6 days ago.

whiteandyellowiris Wed 16-Oct-13 21:13:51

Yes I'm open to mixed feeding, I'm still bf and expressing as much as poss

And have had a bf expert helping me today at home

ChocChaffinch Wed 16-Oct-13 21:15:32

ah whiteandyellowiris
is your HV supportive? do you have BF support? there are helplines etc I'm sure someone could link you
C-section pain improves every day, it's so bad at 1st I feel for you, you've done fantastically so far through major surgery and probably zero sleep! does your dp have an opinion? mine helped loads to see things logically in those tough early days
however you decide to feed you are a lovely mummy just doing the best you can X

ChocChaffinch Wed 16-Oct-13 21:16:10

sorry x-posting there

tiredteddy Wed 16-Oct-13 21:16:16

Just because a baby may be ff there is no more reason to pass it around for other people to feed. My dc3 was/is ff. from the beg I was very clear that to bond with my baby I would feed her. DH joined in after 2 months but baby preferred it when I did it. I really imagined that I wouldn't feel as much love or the overwhelming bond as I did with my dc1&2 whom I breastfed. It was exactly the same. It is just food. It has nothing to do with how much you love and care for your child. If you end up ff that is your babies food, you are his mum and the centre of his universe, the most important person In His little world.

apachepony Wed 16-Oct-13 21:16:29

My ds lost 10% of his birth weight and was jaundiced, and I was forced to supplement with formula. Got him back off formula by the time he was 10 days old, ebf then until 6 months & still mix feeding now. So no need to say goodbye to bf because of initial weight loss!

ChocChaffinch Wed 16-Oct-13 21:17:37

I know plenty of mixed feeders, think they did the last 1 or 2 feeds a day with bottles to fill up the tank!! best of both worlds sounds like.

have you got a sterilizer/Milton/bottles etc...

ExBrightonBell Wed 16-Oct-13 21:28:24

White, I do hope the bf expert has been able to give you some helpful advice today. There are many things you can try to increase the amount of bm your baby takes - I hope they have explained some of them to you.

Also, giving some formula top ups now doesn't mean you have to keep doing it permanently. I had to give formula for a short while, but gradually reduced this until I was exclusively breastfeeding again.

freelancegirl Wed 16-Oct-13 21:28:32

My DS lost over ten percent too and I mix fed for a few months. After a while it got easier and easier to bf and I ended up ditching formula completely and bf until 14 months. It worked really well. It's true not many people talk about that option but it's there if you don't want to give up completely.

SillyDecisionMaker Wed 16-Oct-13 21:34:09

I had a planned c section and my ds lost 16% after 3 days. We managed one night at home before being readmitted on the third day. My milk hadn''t come in until day three. In hospital I pumped and we used a cup for him to drink from. We had problems with the latch and I think every midwife had a go at getting us latched!

I had a hellish few days as I was either expressing or feeding and we 'took the edge' off with cup feeding so he wasn't so ravenous then tried bf as I think the hunger worked us both up. At the end of the day we used nipple shields for three weeks before I weaned him off and now he is a gorgeous six month old who I am still bf. I can feed him in my sleep now.

What painkillers are you taking? The ones I was prescribed when leaving hospital were fine and I didn't even need them all. Are you keeping mobile? As I qas in hospital for a week overnight by myself feeding every three hours I think the movement helped! You can do it if you want to but please don't feel bad if you do ff or combination feed.

wiltingfast Wed 16-Oct-13 21:34:09

Hi, I tried bfing with both of mine, struggled for 7w with ds, it never seemed to take off, not enough milk, baby losing weight, not gaining, etc etc such misery. I really hope you don't experience that. I'd a c section and I've pcos in background also. Anyway the poor baby was starved and when I finally gave up and went ft on bottles he was like a baby possessed, wouldn't come up to breathe, wouldn't let you wind him, screamed ble murder if you tried to break the feed. When you think about it, I guess appetite and food is such a basic drive and need no wonder he preferred the full and ready meal of the ff.

Anyway, said I'd try again on dd but wouldn't persist if it was working by say 10 days - 2w. As it happens she was worse than ds, came 2w early, couldn't persuade her to latch, and if she latched she'd no interest in sucking. Of course she lost a pile of weight, jaudiced etc etc. Hospital let us home after 8 days on a strict feed her every 2h and express regime, I don't know when I was supposed to sleep! I got to 10 days and said forget it.

Anyway she has asolutely thrived after that and I would never worry about bfing again. If it comes fairly easily it's by far the best but it's not the thing to do at any cost.

The intimacy is wonderful but it is also wonderful to be able to see your baby thrive, to have help with feeds and to start getting your body back to yourself. You can relax, start to enjoy your maternity leave and focus on getting to know your baby instead of being on a miserable obsession with feeding and weight.

That's just my experience but I hope it helps.

trolleycoin Wed 16-Oct-13 21:35:24

So DS won't starve if BF doesn't work out.

So you don't lose your marbles being around him all the fecking time.

DH or DM can help when you just don't have the energy to get up anymore.

whiteandyellowiris Wed 16-Oct-13 21:37:15

Yes I have all the stuff

I've just bf ds
And now dh is topping him up
As we have been advised

And I'm now going to pump again
Only got less than 10ml earlier

Then we will try to used the pumped bm for the tops ups

But I just wanted to think of the positives if this doesn't work out

He will be weighed again tomorrow

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