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I really want DC2 to take occasional bottle of expressed milk.

(25 Posts)
MonstersDontCry Wed 17-Jul-13 12:49:35

I'm a week overdue with DC2. DD never took a bottle and wouldn't drink from a cup until 13/14 months. Up until 9 months she still fed nearly every hour or two. I tried EVERYTHING to get her to take a bottle but nothing worked.

I really don't want to go through all that again, although I will if I have to of course. I didn't offer DD a bottle until 6 weeks as this is the age I was told 'nipple confusion' wouldnt be an issue anymore. Would trying earlier this time help? I had zero problems bfing DD, so hoping for the same this time.

I've got a pump and bottles ready. Anything else I can do?

AidanTheRevengeNinja Wed 17-Jul-13 13:22:25

This is just my personal opinion, but I think it's a trade-off between the potential risk of the baby rejecting the breast due to nipple confusion, and the very real risk of the baby refusing bottles if he/she does not get used to having them regularly.

My baby was given a bottle in the first few days of life (top ups for jaundice/low sugars etc). He took to breastfeeding just fine but would still take a bottle of expressed as needed - we did this a couple of times a week. Felt very smug, got complacent, and didn't give it to him for a 2-3 week stretch. Tried again at 11 weeks, and absolute refusal. It's as if he just does not remember to suck from a bottle. Tried everything - it's breast or nothing for him.

It is stressful and restrictive being tied to your baby 24 hours a day for months on end, and I think the toll this can take is underestimated.

If I have another child, he/she will be given a bottle of expressed milk once a day from week one and sod the consequences. Of course this won't guarantee he will accept bottles, but it seems common sense that we'll at least be in with a fighting chance. I'll use a slow flow teat, no more than one feed a day, and hope for the best.

Only you can decide what risk you're more willing to take though.

MonstersDontCry Wed 17-Jul-13 14:12:26

Thanks for replying. It's reassuring to hear that your baby took to breastfeeding even after having a bottle early on. I completely see what you mean about weighing up the risks.

My DD is 22 months now and it's only in the last few months that I actually feel like I've started to get some of my freedom back.

Obviously successful breastfeeding is much more important to me but it would be nice to be able to go out for an hour or have a drink once in a while! I've been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last 2 1/2 years and I've missed so many things because I haven't been able to leave the baby/drink alcohol.

Sorry I didn't mean fr that to turn into a pity post! blush

shelly81 Wed 17-Jul-13 14:16:19

We started giving dd a bottle of ebm at 3 weeks and she has a bottle every evening of dp ...she is so easy going & isn't bothered where her milk comes from as long as she gets it.

StuckOnARollercoaster Wed 17-Jul-13 20:57:41

I had to top up with bm in the early weeks of my little one, so had no choice about nipple confusion (to be honest didn't know about it - I also have been using a dummy when she's overtired and I know its not hunger)
Now we're back to birthweight I've decided to still express once a day. My plan is to use that expressed bm every other day for an evening feed based on what I've seen on here about future potential bottle refusal.

(and stockpile the alternate day into the freezer so little one can go to grandmas occasionally!)

Can't tell you yet if it will work - but that's my plan!

arlandria666 Thu 18-Jul-13 07:07:35

my ds had a bottle of ebm at 4 weeks and still has one every other day he still breastfeeds well and its obvious he prefers the breast but will take a bottle fine. He will also drink from a cup had to top up with cup feeds for a week and a half to regain birth weight .
good luck

wouldyoupleasemove Thu 18-Jul-13 16:34:51

Just to add an alternative view ..... I tried absolutely everything to get boob obsessed DC1 to take a bottle. I expressed a freezer load, bought every bottle under the sun ( including being shipped from the US). Not a sausage. Rascal happily had it in a plain tippee from 6 months though..
This time round my conscious decision has been not to express until six months. With two, I simply do not have the time and I'm far more relaxed about just bringing baby along to all manner of things...its been fine. I am much less desparate to go out this time round (possibly because Im knackered) and Im nearly at solids already. Good luck with what you do but I have been v happy with my decision...

starsandstripes72 Thu 18-Jul-13 17:30:08

I was just about to post a similar thread. Dd is a week old. Im loving breastfeeding but have a regular appointment i have to attend weekly for around 2 hours that i cannot take her to. Have just bought a pump so can start expressing and maybe trying her with expressed milk once or twice a day. It seems there is mixed advice fron professionals on this.

Slippysnow Thu 18-Jul-13 19:14:26

Thankyou for this thread. I have been looking into nipple confusion and have read some mixed opinions.

A lot of people I have spoken to have recommended introducing a bottle early to babies as they have struggled so much with their independence post pregnancy. Which took its toll on both mother and child.

I find the subject really scary, I just want to do right by everyone

katiecubs Thu 18-Jul-13 19:25:37

I think you need to do it in the first couple of weeks. I really don't believe in this nipple confusion thing anyway - the only thing delaying a bottle will do is mean they refuse it!

MultipleMama Thu 18-Jul-13 21:42:51

My boys are 9mo only started taking bottles at 7mo as that's when tried them with them. They refused a few times but it turned out they didn't like the type of bottle/flow. I still EBF and they have no confusion between either. We've gone weeks without bottles but they take to them when we introduce them.

My advice is try different bottle don't assume your LO will take to the first bottle you give them.

leedy Fri 19-Jul-13 12:25:03

My DS1 totally refused bottles when I tried first, much to my horror, then took one at 13 weeks and was happy with the odd one after that - never gave one regularly until he started nursery. DS2 refused all bottles but will happily drink from pretty much anything else - started with a Doidy cup around 4.5 months, now drinks from a sippy.

I don't think the alternatives have to be "a daily bottle from near birth" or "never able to leave the baby", or at least not for all babies. Expressing is a lot of faff.

leedy Fri 19-Jul-13 12:29:48

I also found once the feeds spaced out a bit, even after I knew they could drink from a cup/bottle, I could get a fair amount of time for myself without needing to use expressed milk - go swimming or to the hairdressers between feeds, for instance. I went out to the pub the other night leaving DS2 (8 months) at home having fed him at bedtime and he didn't need feeding again until long after I came back even though I'd left some EBM. The tiny baby feeds all the time stage is really quite short.

Lovingmybabiesbottom Fri 19-Jul-13 12:29:56

With both my babies, they had one bottle of expressed milk from day 5.

Absolutely no nipple confusion whatsoever.

Based in my experience, the earlier the better

fenzy84 Fri 19-Jul-13 16:48:39

I had a very similar problem when I had to go back to work. I was worried about my little one experiencing nipple confusion if we started using bottles but it had to be done! I did a lot of research and by chance I found the mimijumi bottles at a Baby Show. They were the closest bottle I have seen to a breast and are designed for the very reason of prolonging breast feeding. I gave the bottle a go and it worked, great for combi feeding.

MonstersDontCry Sat 20-Jul-13 22:29:51

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences, they've been really helpful. So the general opinion is the earlier the better. I think I'll try a bottle within the first week and see how it goes. Then offer one at least every few days.

Babieseverywhere Mon 22-Jul-13 10:44:40

I don't think any combination of offering bottles or not, has been proven to make a difference. I think some children take bottles easily and others don't, there is little logic to it.

On the other hand are bottles essential for your new baby ? Even a very young baby can be fed from a cup with an adults guidance.

Plus breastfeeding is no bar from drinking (in reasonable quantities) just search the forum for other posts on this subject. No need to 'pump or dump' alcohol does not build up in your milk. Feel free to have a drink or two whenever you want, no bottles needed for that.

I found that with DC3 and DC4 (both EBF) I was happy to leave them without milk for a few hours and they never bothered asking for milk until I returned but babies vary in attitude and patience and I certainly couldn't of left DC1 for more than 30 minutes max !

Good luck whatever you decide.

catsdogsandbabies Mon 22-Jul-13 10:54:56

Day 2 mine had bottle and BF and no confusion.

MonstersDontCry Mon 22-Jul-13 11:25:41

No bottles aren't essential of course but it would be nice to have a bit of freedom this time round. I couldn't leave DD forlonger than an hour. I live in the middle of no where, 40 minutes to the nearest town, so I couldnt do anything by myself.

I don't want my baby to have formula so I will go through it all again if I have to but it would be nice not to constantly be tied to the baby.

I could never get DD to drink from a cup either. It wasn't until about 13 months that she would sip water from a beaker. Until then she completely relied on me for a drink.

Me and DP didn't have longer than an hour by ourselves until DD was about 9/10 months old. I don't think there's anything wrong with me wanting a bit of me time.

FaddyPeony Mon 22-Jul-13 11:30:23

DD had 1 formula top-up on day 4 when my milk still hadn't come in, and after that had some expressed BM around week 4. We tried to give her a bottle about once a week or maybe more often - it sometimes worked and sometimes didn't. She only really got the hang of it when I went back to work part-time when she was 4 months and she had to have a daily bottle-feed. After that she took to it really well. I completely understand your wanting DC2 to take a bottle; I think it's a bit part of why I breastfed past a year.

It seems to me that breastfed baby will switch easily between bottle and boob and nearly always still want the boob so long as the majority of their daily feeds come from the breast. If that makes sense?

but there probably is something of personality in it too. DD was super greedy, she loved everything - boob, bottle, food...

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 22-Jul-13 11:35:05

I honestly don't think it makes a difference what you do - some babies are bottle refusers and some aren't. Unless they don't know what the boob is, it doesn't matter if you have never given them a bottle, always given them a regular one or given them one occasionally. It just kicks in at 3 or 4 months if they are going to be one. Luckily (touch wood!) it doesn't seem to run in families so hopefully you won't have the same problem this time.

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 22-Jul-13 11:38:02

I don't think it makes a difference how early they have one either. I don't think nipple confusion is necessarily a problem (I have a sneaking suspicion that nipple confusion is more of an issue for adults than babies in that they perceive the baby is happier on the bottle when it is just normal establishing BF difficulties, but I have never personally been in the situation)

badguider Mon 22-Jul-13 11:49:54

I am due very soon with my first and will need to feed expressed milk to my LO from about 3mo for work reasons (DH will be childcare two afternoons a week).
My experience so far with health professionals and LLL etc has been that there is a BIG worry about expressing and bottles risking the longterm success of breastfeeding.
In my case however, bottle refusing would be far more of a problem than breastfeeding ending at 3mo. I think that the 'risk' you are willing to take depends on the 'benefit' or 'necessity' of bottle-feeding in your own specific situation.

In my case, if we get bf established in the first three weeks then I will be trying to pump at about 4wks. If I am able to pump then we'll start daily bottles then and make DH does one a day so that ds gets used to DH feeding him.
If I can't pump then I will have to feed formula at 3mo but I will leave that till the time comes as I want ds to stay off the ff as long as possible.

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 22-Jul-13 11:55:46

badguider This is a great article which I think all mums intending to express should read - it's titled "I'm not pumping enough milk" but the relevant section is "What is normal when it comes to pumping output" and I personally think this is extremely valuable information to have.

Sunnysummer Mon 22-Jul-13 12:08:31

Agree that so much seems to be down to how the mother and baby are getting on with feeding, so maybe see what feels right once he/she arrives?

I was so stressed about nipple confusion when DS had a bottle at 2 days as he was slow off the mark with his first wee, and then was formula fed for medical reasons from 4-6 weeks but both times he returned happily to being EBF with no confusion at all, and he continues to take a bottle of expressed milk from DH or DM when they look after him a couple of times a week - but he is an enormous milk-junkie, plus I was lucky and had a very easy experience of bfing so was super keen to continue.
DSIL's DS, on the other hand, had some bottles in the early weeks due to her mastitis, and then failed to feed properly at the breast afterwards, partly because he was less of a greedyguts, and perhaps as she was understandably less keen to continue pushing bfing.
Good luck!

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