Advanced search

Sex (possibly tmi)

(24 Posts)
AKAMMM Wed 10-Jul-13 10:52:17

I am a regular but have namechanged for this. I am probably posting this in the wrong place but am really hoping that it is just related to breastfeeding and hence I am posting here smile

Anyway, having sex since having DD2 a year ago has been pretty few and far between, with an EmCS, breastfeeding, sleepless nights and general exhaustedness, I'm sure we're not the only ones. But, when we have managed it, I am finding it quite painful sad I know BF can make you a bit dry, and hope that it's just dryness internally that makes it sore.

It sort of stings; I feel as though if DH managed to penetrate more deeply it would be ok but that initial bit is painful enough that it makes me more tense and therefore the situation worse. DH is so gentle and patient, but it is making me sad because I am missing it. I don't remember it being like this after DD1 or even the first time. I'd love to think it was because I had become super-toned, but I know that ain't the case hmm!!

I've had a smear since she was born which was also sore but was clear so i know that it's not anything really nasty.

Anyone else experienced this? Will it improve over time, do you think? Does anyone have any suggestions?

DonutForMyself Wed 10-Jul-13 11:31:16


MolotovCocktail Wed 10-Jul-13 11:35:01

Yes to lube (and possibly a glass of wine before dtd to help you relax).

habhann Wed 10-Jul-13 11:50:24

I am the same, glad someone has posted do you get in the mood when feeling exhausted and hearing lo in the room next door? I find that sensations in that dept are different since section etc. I have my periods back and still breastfeed three times during day...

valiumredhead Wed 10-Jul-13 13:30:58

Just use some lube or saliva!

EauRouge Wed 10-Jul-13 14:30:05

Try some lube, and see if that does the trick. Did you have any stitches after giving birth? I found sex painful and in the end I had (fairly minor) surgery to fix things because I had stitches after both my DDs were born and they were never done properly. This was all sorted easily and quickly through my GP. There's a ragged bits thread in general health that's brilliant for support.

AKAMMM Wed 10-Jul-13 18:40:41

Yes I thought of lube and that that might be the response. Didn't really want to go there. I feel officially old grin Think I might have to put it on the online shop so I don't have to see anyone blush

valiumredhead Wed 10-Jul-13 19:17:12

Plenty of people use lube, nothing to do with age.

monkeyfacegrace Wed 10-Jul-13 19:21:22

I started using lube at 20. Nowt to do with being old.

Cupcakemummy85 Wed 10-Jul-13 19:38:26

I had this problem with dd1 and now after dd2. I went to the doctor after dd1 and the doctor told me exactly what you said that breastfeeding can make you dry. She gave me oestrogen cream. It really helped. I will b going again to the doctor about it this time as lube isn't helping at all. If the lube doesn't help make an appointment with a nice lady doctor. Hope that helps smile

AKAMMM Wed 10-Jul-13 19:39:46

Yes, I know. Sorry, I didn't mean to offendsmile
I am embarrassed about buying it, but not because of an age association. About the sex association grin!!!!

I am old thoughgrin

AKAMMM Wed 10-Jul-13 19:44:32

Thank you, Cupcake; I will do that if things don't improve.

valiumredhead Wed 10-Jul-13 19:54:10

Ha ha ha they will just think you ate having loads of anal sexwink grin

valiumredhead Wed 10-Jul-13 19:54:32


tiktok Wed 10-Jul-13 20:44:49

You can get supermarket/Boots/Medicentre own-brand KY jelly, and it's piled high and sold cheap, so it's about on a level with dental floss or corn plasters in the embarrassment category. Plenty of people use it to help insert tampons, don't they?

DonutForMyself Wed 10-Jul-13 21:22:27

They do all sorts of flavours which are a bit more fun than KY, I'm sure plenty of people (me included!) use them just because it feels nice, less friction, not for 'medicinal' reasons. DP loves me using it on him too, get your H to buy it!

AidanTheRevengeNinja Wed 10-Jul-13 22:11:23

KY Jelly sorts a squeaky door out really well. You could be buying it for that.


DinoSnores Thu 11-Jul-13 08:32:11

Just need to correct something about smears. You said you'd had one so you knew that it was nothing nasty. While this is unlikely to be anything nasty, a smear is just a screening test looking at one specific thing, so if you have symptoms, you should never ignore it and should see your GP for a proper review & examination.

FaddyPeony Thu 11-Jul-13 14:36:58

please use lube. I was so worried about this and things got a lot better once I stopped breastfeeding (when DD was 13months). It's fine, really!

Havingkittens Mon 15-Jul-13 22:56:02

I went in for swabs prior to having a coil fitted, which hasn't been done yet due to a similar issue. Even the speculum left me really sore. I feel like my episiotomy was sewn up wrong and there's a sort of "lip" blocking the entrance now. I have an appointment to have it assessed and get referred to a gynaecologist with a view to possibly having it surgically sorted. I think it's called a Fenton's procedure. Eau Rouge, how long did it take before you we're back to normal? And how long did your referral take?

In my case, I definitely feel like it's more than a lubrication issue and can't imagine it being solved by simply applying hormonal cream.m it's definitely to do with unyielding scar tissue and wonky healing. I hope this isn't the case for you OP but I would definitely recommend having a chat with your GP to get checked out. I have been really anxious about this but have read that its is quite easy to put right so it's worth looking into.

EauRouge Tue 16-Jul-13 08:18:43

The referral only took a few weeks; I went private in the end because I didn't like the evil NHS consultant but the dates I was given for surgery were no different. Probably about 3-4 months from initial GP appointment to surgery.

Afterwards, I was running again after a couple of weeks and after my 6 week check I was given the all clear and DH and I did the deed. It was so much better, completely different. I'd had a massive skin tag sticking out where they hadn't stitched me up properly after labour and it was getting in the way. The surgery was so simple, in and out the same day and the recovery was much easier than the recovery after birth.

If anyone thinks their stitches were done wrong, don't suffer in silence! It's a very common problem and very easily fixed. I wish it was talked about more, then I wouldn't have put up with it for so long.

EauRouge Tue 16-Jul-13 08:24:28

Here is the most recent ragged bits thread.

AKAMMM Fri 02-Aug-13 19:41:11

I love lubegrin

Just wanted to come back and thank you for the support. I came up with lots of alternative uses for it, to cover my embarrassment in my head, not that I got to the till and listed themgringrin

Re the smear Dino, you are right about that but I did specifically mean the big C, and other than pain during sex (now thankfully cured with lube), I was/am asymptomatic. But for anyone else reading, as Dino said, please get any symptoms checked.

Kittens and Eau, I had an EmCS, so couldn't blame stitches, but I hope things are sorted for you both.

Anyway, thanks againsmile

AidanTheRevengeNinja Fri 02-Aug-13 20:04:15

What, you mean you didn't look the woman in Boots in the eye and say "I am buying it to give an enema to my dog. Just so you know".


Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now