Anyone unsuccesful breastfeeding first baby but managed to with 2nd?(20 Posts)
I really wanted to BF DS but only managed to bear it for about 5 days. Despite much help from the midwife I was in sheer agony with cracked and bleeding nipples and had to give up despite feeling extremely guilty.
I am 18 weeks pregnant with my 2nd and want to give BF another go but the thought of the pain just makes me cringe. Did anyone else who was unsuccesful first time round manage it the 2nd time?
A good friend of mine was very successful second time round. Like you, she managed about 5 days with first and has just stopped feeding 2nd....he's 11 months old
I think she felt a lot more confident generally so was more relaxed.
I gave up with dd1 after 3 weeks due to her poor sucking and swallowing reflex (she had had IUGR and was quite poorly) and pressure from mother and dh. Felt very miserable about it but found it much easier with dd2 and was going well at 10 weeks when I got meningitis and lost milk. Was determined to do it again with dd3 and despite thrush for the first month am still feeding at 22 months. Go for it and the very best of luck. Midwife recommended Lansinoh for nipples and I also found aloe vera gel good. I also found that it took 7-10 days to get over the pain barrier.
i bf ds1 through agony
lasted 3 days wiht ds2
lasted 7 months iwhth ds3
i was more patient
and had lasninoh
wtil looody hurt though
Get proper advice from a decent breastfeeding counsellor, have Lansinoh on hand and don't give up in the middle of the night - always wait till morning. Take it a day at a time and don't rely on your midwives or HV knowing what they're talking about - they often have had no training and will say your baby's latch looks fine when it isn't.
Good luck! And remember it's as much about the baby as how you do it - my DS2 was a more natural bfeeder than DS1 (and I knew what I was doing more, so that helped too).
Sorry, the wait till morning thing makes no sense like that - what I meant was that things always look harder and more hopeless at night, so don't make a decision you might regret in the light of day - wait till then and make sure you still want to stop - chances are you'll keep at it for another day and then one day you won't be "keeping at it" you'll just be bfeeding and enjoying it.
yes and all the crying that newborns do is nto solved by giving them a bottle
i love to try it with my (future) 2nd baby as i only managed 2 days as i ended up with brown crusty bits over my nipples as DD was sucking so hard and was so hungry.... but whats didnt help was ive got sensitive nipples.... if i have my 2nd baby will my nipples go more solid and not sensitive? (they are still very pink but slighty darker now before i got pg)
it was an unmitigated disaster w/dd1 - loooong labour, assisted delivery, postpartum infection, severe PND, etc., etc.
dd2 - she chewed three blisters on my left nipple the first day of her life, but i phoned the NCT in desperation and they were INCREDIBLE!
she was a natural at bf and next week, miracle of miracles, she will be 6 calendar months.
although she does take EBM from a bottle, she is bf.
Stopped at 2 weeks with ds because MW was unhappy that he hadn't put much weight on, had mastitis and was just persuaded to stop, no offers of help or advice to continue and get him gaining weight.
Am currently still breastfeeding dd, 9mo, and hope to continue for as long as she wants to. Have used the nct helpline this time and sought advice here. If I had known about MN when I had ds, I may have managed to feed him longer
One difference was that DD1 turned out to have a medical condition that meant she can't have milk of any sort. But tbh I think we'd have failed anyway first time round - nipples utterly trashed after 4 days; scar tissue still interferes with milk flow.
Would 100% agree w hunkermunker: second time round I read up lots in advance - midwives/HVs are v poorly trained but this time I could ignore any bad advice. Also it's a lot about the baby not you - some just find it very hard to latch correctly and the next may be a natural at it!
I was the same, I bf DS1 for 5 days and gave up because of the sheer pain, but DS2 has just turned 1 and still breastfeeds 2-3 times a day
Me i only managed to bf ds for 4 days but i breastfeed dd.
Lasted about 16weeks with ds1, 1yr with ds2 and 10months with dd (she gave me up in the end, as did ds1 and 2 if I'm honest). I didnt really have probs with the nipple aspect, more the supply. But it was definitely easier 2nd time around. I was more relaxed, ds2 was a fantastic feeder and had a great latch from day 1. It ws more painful with my 3rd, she used to suck my nipple in rather than open and clamp on which was toe curling at the time, but only lasted about 7days, then it eased for me.
Go in with an open mind and try to put 1st time experiences out of your mind. I'd say eac baby is different and will feed differently because of it. You may well find it a doddle this time!
I did, I did!
Made me very happy. I had so many problems with DS1 and it really got me down.
Decided with DS2 that would give it a go and if it didn't work out, then I would know that it wasn't the end of the world as DS1 seems to have survived OK on formula
Breastfed DS2 for over a year, he never had any formula and I was able to donate milk to the milk bamk too! It made me so proud. I would always reccommend giving it a go second time round as you are likely to be more so much more relaxed about everything.
Me too! Progressed from b/f for barely 3 weeks with dd1 (difficult labour etc) to b/f for a year with nipple shields for dd2 and b/f just over a year with dd3, no nipple shields but awful ductal thrush (apologies to lurkers/posters on other threads - feel like i've been posting about this lots recently. Was grimly determined with dd2 and dd3 to continue and finally, get it right.
IME, breast feeding councellors are the way to go as midwife advice while well intentioned, was not always good, although was shown how to hand express a little to help with latching on by most recent midwife.
Yes pinkmagic!! i was useless first time round and never managed for long at all, but second time round i fed my ds2 for 6 months and then he just refused after that and wouldnt take anymore otherwise i think i would have fed him for longer, i think because you have tried it once even just for 5 days you already have a good idea of what the drill is, and what to expect, it neednt be as painful as last time (mine wasnt) so you might surprise yourself, i think you just have to remind yourself regularly before and after baby is born that you will probably spend the first 6 - 10 weeks of his/her life sat breastfeeding, constantly! BUT it soooooooo worth it in the end, it pays off big time hun
biglips, your previous problems sound less to do with sensitive nipples and more like bad latch and no one giving you proper advice to solve the problem.
follow all the good advice here. would like to reiterate: get a good bf book before hand, read up for yourself, and know where to seek good bf advice (ie a bf counsellor) if you develop probs.
a good place to find a good bf book
and MN is always a good place to come for quick help or a good whinge.
First time around ds was on bottles by 2wk as, according to the midwife, I didn't have enough milk. I was gutted and refused to stop bf, so he got both milk and bottles, but, frankly, he was getting it all from the bottles as he was putting away 6 full bottles a day. At 6wk I had had enough and wnet to the NCT for advice on increasing my bm. I got to the point were ds was taking half from me, and the rest from the bottle. AFAI am concerened, that was a triumph and I kept bfing until 5m before going over completely to bottles.
Dd was an extremely gentle feeder. I only ever had one incidence of painful feeding, whcih was quickly sorted out by some one-to-one with an NCT Breastfeeding Counsellor. Dd, OTOH, had me blistered and bleeding by 48h old. Yet I managed to feed her until nearly 2yo.
As a second-timer I could tell that the midwives' bfing advice was really poor, and also that the support I had had from the midwife with ds had been less than non-existant. No disrespect to midwives - the birth support and some of the ppost-natal support I ahve had was absolutely fantastic, but they just don't know about breastfeeding.
For really superb help, contact the NCT. Go to some bfing workshops before the baby is born so that you get some idea of where it can go right, as well as wrong. Virtually all nipple pain, especially that early, can be resolved by repositioning. (With dd I supplemented that by using breastshields intermittently for the first week or so.)
You can talk to the NCT people as often as you want - I cried on their shoulders many times with dd. Plus they are absolutely non-judegemental and will not comment or criticise if youdo choose to use bottles.
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