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Criticism about BF - feeling a bit down.

(18 Posts)
sottovoce Fri 02-Jun-06 17:06:23

Hello

Just got back from picnic with a friend. DD (14 months) got a bit upset after lunch and needed her sleep. Although I don't normally bf in public now (as dd likes to see what she is doing and lifts my top!!)I said to my friend that I was gong to have to whip out a boob and feed her to calm her a little. She shuddered and said "that's disgusting at her age" and I felt so cowed that i didn't do it .

I don't normally give a stuff about what other people think, about bf or much else. However, this has really got to me. We have been friends for 10 years and she BF hers til they were 1! I am really upset that she described me as disgusting.

I just needed to tell someone who would understand. Sorry to whinge. Lost out on a house today as well(as someone bid over £20k over the asking price) so maybe that's why I am hyper sensitive and a bit teary.

XXXX

NotQuiteCockney Fri 02-Jun-06 17:07:42

Oh, you have my sympathies, what a strange and horrible thing for your friend to say!

Securlurking Fri 02-Jun-06 17:09:03

Oh hun, that is awful (friend and house)

I wonder if she realised what she had said (or at least how it would make you feel) Can you tell her?

shazronnie Fri 02-Jun-06 17:09:41

Poor you - it is not disgusting it's perfectly lovely.
have a glass of wine and some choccy

Piffle Fri 02-Jun-06 17:16:28

your friend to make that comment
that comment is disgusting at HER age

iwishiwasatroll Fri 02-Jun-06 17:17:39

strange woman, the only disgusting thing was her lack of sensitivity for a friendship

Kathy1972 Fri 02-Jun-06 17:20:09

Bit mad that she thinks bf is ok till 1 and then a few weeks later it's suddenly become disgusting....
She's probably hormonal or grumpy about something else - I wouldn't let it worry you.

Adorabelle Fri 02-Jun-06 17:39:01

You poor thing, what a hurtfull thing for a
friend to have said. My dd is a tall, 27lb 2yr old now & I still feed her wherever we are,
if she wants it. Have had a few "odd" looks but
as yet no comments. Would tell them to B*gger Off
if I did. Well Done for still bfeeding at 14 months, What a good mummy you are. You should
drop into conversation with the hurtfull friend that the W.H.O. now reccomends bfeeding till 2 &
beyond tat should give her something to think about!!

kiskidee Fri 02-Jun-06 17:47:24

the US Surgeon General said that is is a 'lucky baby who is breastfed for 2 years.'

i hope if someone ever says that it is disgusting to bf my under 2, that i have the cool (instead of strop) to calmly ask 'why' so that they can explain their ignorance.

Psychobabble Fri 02-Jun-06 17:51:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Socci Fri 02-Jun-06 17:51:26

Message withdrawn

lazeemum Fri 02-Jun-06 17:53:17

Hello sottovoce
Well done for bf so long! I know exactly how you feel, i bf my dd until she was 2. My mum, mil & sisters all thought i was a freak for bf for so long. Luckily dp was very supportive, but the comments can make you feel as if you're doing something bad.
I wouldn't have done anything different.

Adorabelle Fri 02-Jun-06 17:53:20

Kiskidee, That quote is one of my Favourites.

Have had to use it quite alot when asked by well
meaning family memebers when I will be "Stopping"
bfeeding.
My answer is always the same "Will stop whenever she decides to". Not really much
to say in reply to that I find

Adorabelle Fri 02-Jun-06 17:57:52

Maybe i'm just a bolshy old s*d but I know for a
fact that if I ever got an adverse comment to bfeeding my dd I would tell them to look away if it was that obscene.
Seems so bizzare that feeding beyond 1 is seen as so "unusual" in Britain, when the world average of weaning a bfed child is 5/6.

CorrieDale Fri 02-Jun-06 18:16:49

Poor you! I have to agree with Kathy. What a difference 8 weeks makes, eh? Maybe she feels guilty for stopping when she did and is taking it out on you? Not making excuses for her, mind - it pisses me off so much that people feel they can comment adversely on breastfeeding but start talking about the 'breastfeeding mafia' if you bite back. Makes me so angry I could spit. I think I would tell her how you feel, once you've had the choccies recommended by shazronnie.

magnolia1 Fri 02-Jun-06 18:20:36

Some friend you have there hun

I breastfed dd4 till she was 1 but wanted to carry on (she had other ideas and self weaned)

She is nearly 3 now and sometimes when she is really upset I just wish I was still feeding her

Am pg with #5 and will breastfeed for as long as he/she wants.

Well done by the way!!

Adorabelle Fri 02-Jun-06 18:28:10

Magnolia, one of the best things about my dd
still feeding at 2 is that it is an instant calmer when she's upset or frightened. Or when
she's so overtired & won't go to sleep, giving her a feed sends her straight off! Good Luck
with #5, Happy Breastfeeding, nothing like that
beautiful feeling of feeding your newborn

FrannyandZooey Fri 02-Jun-06 18:34:47

I am so sorry your so-called friend has been so hurtful. I am speechless at how rude and unpleasant (and ignorant!) people can be.

I can only imagine that she feels threatened by it in some way - that she feels your achievement in breastfeeding somehow calls her own parenting into question there's really no other explanation for such a nasty and uncalled for reaction

Oh sod her, you are the one who will be snuggling up tonight in a warm milky cuddle with your dd. She can stuff it

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