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Breastfeeding is gross!!

(63 Posts)
Helenemjay Thu 01-Jun-06 12:01:22

My mil and sil told me the other day that they thought it was gross that i was still breastfeeing my dd who is 8 and half months, there are no bfeeding support groups near at all, we have one of the lowest rates of bfeeding in the country im 27 and apart from one of my friends i am the oly person i know who has breastfed at all infact most people think im a bit weird i think. As far as i can gather from our HV there is 1 bfeeding support group but its in a very very dodgy area and hardly anyone goes! I really dont want to give up bfeeding yet as my dd loves it so much and i enjoy our snuggles, but my sil had her baby a week after i did and she was so shocked that i was still 'doing it' its kind of left me feeling like i have the lurgy or something, how do i rise above this? Even dp thinks i should think about stopping

TheHonArfy Thu 01-Jun-06 12:03:05

on what grounds do they think it's gross then? presumably just that they didn't do it - on that basis many things must be gross then.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

WelshBoris Thu 01-Jun-06 12:04:27

tell them to fcuk off

Lio Thu 01-Jun-06 12:04:44

Good grief, I think you know the answer to this one! Makes me realise how lucky I was to have a support group a 10-min walk away and my circle of mummy friends were all breastfeeding too so it was totally normal. I am so sorry you are having this ridiculous pressure – any point you trying to set up a group yourself? Maybe a notice in your GP's surgery or telling MN-ers where you live?

FairyMum Thu 01-Jun-06 12:05:31

Some people aren't very comfortable with their own bodies I think. Ignore. They are just ignorant. They should want you to do what's best for the baby!

WigWamBam Thu 01-Jun-06 12:06:04

You rise above it by being secure in the knowledge that not only are you doing what's best for your baby, you're doing something that he gets immense comfort from. You're doing brilliantly well; don't let ignorant comments from people who should know better put you off.

MarsLady Thu 01-Jun-06 12:06:19

Helen... well done for getting to 8.5 months. Keep up the good work.

You'll get lots of online support here. You keep going and tell them all where to go!

lua Thu 01-Jun-06 12:06:28

I bf DD until 16 months, I am bfing DS now, he is 12 months.

Loving your child and providing them with the best food they can have can never be wrong!

I say, ignore misinformed people and do what you know is the right thing!

valerie28966 Thu 01-Jun-06 12:07:36

Don't listen 2 them. U are doing the best for ur baby and they should encourage not discourage. Don't they know how benefical breast milk is. Keep going with the breastfeeding for as long as u and ur baby are enjoying it.

hunkermunker Thu 01-Jun-06 12:10:50

I cannot for the life of me work out why people think it's OK to comment on bfeeding.

Don't give up till you're ready - and just tell them the WHO recommends bfeeding till at least two, and not just in developing countries (to counter the next myth they'll chuck at you).

There have been some good links posted about the benefits (bit uneasy with that term though, as bfeeding is just normal, so it shouldn't be seen as a benefit, just what's normal) - but I'm only on quickly so can't find them now. You could ask your DP to read them though, so he can support you better.

You're doing brilliantly though, so don't doubt that - and you'll always find lots of bfeeding support and encouragement on here x x x x

fuzzywuzzy Thu 01-Jun-06 12:15:06

I bf dd2 till she was 18 months, had to stop thereafter as she tended to chew on me, which ermm hurt.

My biggest regret with dd1 is that I stopped bf her at around 6 months, I feel I missed out on the closeness with dd1 that I got with dd2.

No words of wisdom, but if you stop before you feel ready, you'll regret it. Tell your dp you need his support in this, it's good for the baby to be bf till upto two (I think).

SOULGIRL Thu 01-Jun-06 12:19:51

I breastfed my first child to 10 months when he started biting and 2nd to 1 year. Being quite a shy person myself I always did it discreetly, but I think the older generation do have a problem with it.

Its not for everyone, I was lucky I found it very easy but what a faff it would be to have to make formula, stelilize bottles blah blah blah. Also my book hand would then have been taken up by a bottle, I read tons while I was breastfeeding.

Helenemjay Thu 01-Jun-06 12:20:03

Thankyou! I have to say when they asked me why i was still doing it i could only say that its good for her and we enjoy it, but i always get the same response.... that she is on 'proper' food now and should be getting all her nutrients from that, at that point i can only say that we she is happy and i dont feel she is ready to stop yet but i got told the other day that it was 'abit pervy' that maybe IM not ready to stop yet! i like to think im a reasonably strong person, but i get so mad that people have such a negative opinion on some so innocent, im trying to enjoy our bfeeding relationship, but whenever the in laws are round they sit looking at each other and pulling faces whenever i feed her

Tinker Thu 01-Jun-06 12:21:40

Ban the inlaws from your house? Oh, this is horrible. No wonder people are discouraged.

SoupDragon Thu 01-Jun-06 12:23:27

My immediate reaction is the same as WelshBoris'

TheHonArfy Thu 01-Jun-06 12:25:12

Oh FFS it's 'a bit pervy' to think that breastfeeding is 'a bit pervy' frankly.

god people are weird

WigWamBam Thu 01-Jun-06 12:26:53

They are wrong in the suggestion that because she's on "proper" food she should be getting all of her nutrition from that. Milk should still be her major source of food until she's at least 12 months old.

Kathy1972 Thu 01-Jun-06 12:29:43

Don't they know about antibodies in breast milk? Even if she's getting other nutrients from solids, bm is the only way she can get that.
Milk's still important that that age anyway.

i like the argument someone raised recently that if formula manufacturers worked out how to produce a food with all the benefits of bm, people would pay a fortune for it, but you can have bm at no more cost than the extra calories you're eating.

I think you are a very strong person Helen - good luck!!

Helenemjay Thu 01-Jun-06 12:35:38

I had to grin recently when ALL the kids from our local toddler group got chicken pox and my sil's two and my sisters two were all covered in pox! my dd never got so much as an itch

clairemow Thu 01-Jun-06 12:36:56

A friend of mine sent me this link yesterday to sign a petition to go to Tony Blair for there to be more national support for mothers wishing to breastfeed. Go on and sign!

I think you should feel free and content to continue feeding your child your way for as long as you and your child want to. You're doing really well, esp in the face of all this criticism. What are boobs for anyway, if not feeding a child? (don't get DH to answer that one..!)

where are you Helen? Doesn't even your doctor/HV support you in your wish to continue?

Securlurking Thu 01-Jun-06 12:37:20

I know it is no real help at all but you know that you are doing the right thing and they are in the wrong.

Sdaly there is no quick and easy way to educate your family and friends so really you just have to decide if it is worth going through the crap in order to keep feeding - IMO it is, but only you know if you can put up with it.

I am surprised at your dp though, does he know how you feel about it? does he have the same information you do? TBH the best thing I think you can do is to sit down with dp and explain your thoughts and feelings on the subject and tell him that you expect his full support and that he should deal with his family next time they decide to butt in. You have enough on making sure his child gets every possible advantage you can offer.

Sorry you are being placed in this position - they are def. out of order

Iklboo Thu 01-Jun-06 12:39:13

Tell them to mind their own business. I was unfortunately unable to continue BF after 8 weeks and it upset me so much. You're doing the best thing for your little one.

SSSandy Thu 01-Jun-06 12:41:03

I'm starting to wonder whether this connection between breasts-sex even when you're just feeding a baby is something very British? I noticed fthis on other threads about the reactions to breast feeding in public - being told it isn't appropriate or getting sleezy men trying to catch a glimpse of your breast etc. Wonder if that is what is making your family feel uneasy about it?

TheHonArfy Thu 01-Jun-06 12:43:16

think SSSandy is right about that - I ranted extensively on that very subject when I rang up Vanessa Feltz on BBC LOndon a few months ago, and was vindicated by lots of idiots ringing in and going 'it's disgusting innit'

Helenemjay Thu 01-Jun-06 12:43:20

Im in Grimsby, and no my HV said dd was at an age now that i could give up and it would be ok, if i was getting 'pointed at' because of it then maybe its something i should consider its up to you she said!

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