10w old FF baby still waking twice in night, please help!!(31 Posts)
Is this normal or are we doing something wrong??!
She feeds at 7.30pm after a bath, drops off around 8.30 or 8.45. Then she wakes any time between 11 and 1.30. Then again any time between 3.30 and 4.30 depending on the earlier awakening.
In addition she takes a very long time from waking to being back in bed asleep, sometimes up to 90min which means three hours awake during the night and never more than 2.5 to 3 hours sleep a time.
It is killing us!
Is it normal or is there anything we could try? Moving the time of the first evening feed?
I think she doesn't eat enough throughout the day, we struggle to get her to have more than half a feed first thing in the morning and more than two thirds mid morning or early pm.
If we could somehow get her to have more in the day might that help?
We feed roughly four hourly in the daytime as otherwise she really does only have half to two thirds each time ie if we go with shorter intervals between feeds.
Sometimes though I also think she wakes in the night not all that hungry but just snacky or wanting something else (dummy? Cuddle?)
She was doing slightly better a couple of weeks ago, not brilliant but waking at 2 and then not again until 6.30 which is when we get up anyway. But she seems to have regressed...
Can anyone help at all? DH and I are like zombies.
My 6 year old still rarely sleeps through and can be up 2 or 3 times in the night!!
That's what MN is good for I find, just a bit of reassurance you're doing OK,and you are! x
Hi emerald <waves>
As everyone has said, totally normal! Dietcoke's suggestions are very good.
DS is 7 months and FF as you know, woke twice a night until 12 weeks or so. Then 12 -16 weeks he woke once a night. Since then he does 11-12 hours straight (a couple of nights a month he will wake once for a feed). His nighttime sleep improved dramatically once we had the daytime naps sorted and in a routine.
Also with her staying awake - will she cry if you just leave her in the cot after feeding her? Up to about 8 weeks we were always jiggling/trying to coax DS back to sleep when he woke at night. Then we were knackered and just started putting him straight back in his crib on the theory he's soon start crying/squeaking if he wasn't happy and he would always go back to sleep (often after we had, though)!
I think babies do naturally wake up frequently at night until they're 1, but once they're past tiny baby stage they can go back to sleep on their own. DS started sleeping through a few days after we put him in his own room (we had to even though he was only 16 weeks, he was too big for his crib and his cot didn't fit in our bedroom). I think when he would stir in the night next to me in his crib I would quickly wake up too and automatically go into warm-up-bottle-change-feed mode. However in his own room I wouldn't hear that he was stirring/wouldn't get picked up by the baby monitor and he would just go back to sleep on his own.
Like larl - my 24 week old is up every hour.
You've got it good OP.
Seriously, you'll find it gets easier and you might be one of the lucky ones who has a baby sleeping through soon.
normal. Your mum has forgotten what it was like - truly, she has - and I bet your friend didn't have it smooth sailing either, despite what she says. People define things in different ways, remember. A friend of mine expressed horror at the fact that DD was 'still' waking at night for a feed at 12weeks old. Her DD never did that, she slept through! Yeah, she did have to get up 5-6 times at night and walk down the hall to 'put the dummy back in' but that didn't count, apparently .
I do wish that people were more honest about how frequently babies wake at night and what a slog it can be. Just because a baby isn't getting fed at night doesn't mean that he/she is slumbering peacefully for 12hrs straight! I know that some babies sleep through from very early, but I'd image that the vast majority of parents experience repeated night wakings at SOME stage during the first 2-3 years of a child's life.
Yes it's a bit of a killer when they don't go straight back go sleep.
I take it you're doing all the obvious things like keeping the light low, not talking to her and only changing if absolutely necessary?
Try getting to her ASAP with her bottle when she wakes so she doesn't have time to wake up too much. You could even try a dream feed before her usual wake up time so that you're 1 step ahead?!
It does get better - often quite suddenly - hang in there
I think I probably am expecting too much, tbh I was thinking she was doing ok until my mum and a good friend both started on about how bad it sounded!! I am waaaaay too suggestible.
I think in all honesty the tough aspect isn't the number of times she wakes as the time it takes to get her back to sleep. It averages 1.5 hours but has been two hours on too many occasions to count now...dietcokeandwine thank u v v much for your suggestions, I will take a closer look and see what I could try...
its killing you waking twice in the night? lol hahaha thats a good one. its perfectly normal no clue what you expected. but i have a 14 month old and a 6 week old. and i am wakng more than 12 times in the night with them both . thats motherhood for you.
This is completely normal. Many babies wake more than twice a night at ten weeks. I think you're expecting too much.
They have small tummies and are doing a lot of growing, that's why they need to feed so often. It's tough but won't last forever.
OP have you looked in the post natal club?
Find the one for when your baby was born and have a read and join in. Its really helpful talking to people going thru the same thing at the same time.
Children dont sleep and only getting up twice at 10 weeks is great. You are doing great, congrats xx
Only twice? Wow! You are lucky. Nearly 7 mo DS is waking every 1 to 2 hours. DD stopped waking twice a night at 11 months when we finally broke and did controlled crying.
I had two DS's who both slept a consistent 8 hour stretch from 11pm - 7am from about 9 weeks. BUT I am well aware that DS1 and DS2 were both the exception rather than the rule, and have since had DS3 who has proved it with gusto and is still waking pretty randomly at 4m.
emeraldgirl I would say your DD's feeding times are pretty typical of a FF baby of this age, if anything they're probably pretty good. But the thing that leaps out at me from your OP is how long she's taking to settle back to sleep after the night feeds. 1.5 hours awake in the night seems a lot to me? (DS3, for example, might wake for a feed, but 15-20 minutes and bam, he's fed, asleep and back in bed again, which makes the wakeups much easier to deal with). So whilst she'll still need those night feeds, it might be worth looking at the pattern of your DD's awake time to see whether you could at least shorten the length of time she's awake feeding in the night.
I would be tempted to try the following:
- have a look at her daytime nap pattern (if there is one!) - is she sleeping a lot during the day, or conversely not sleeping very much at all? Either of those could be affecting her wakefulness in the night
- bring her 7:30 feed forward a bit so she's feeding nearer 6:45/7pm and hopefully going to sleep earlier
- one of you wake her at 10:30/11 for a feed and try keeping her awake for an hour before settling her back in bed (rather than waiting for her to wake which could be post-midnight) and the other one of you go to bed
- then the one who's gone to bed earlier gets up and does the 3:30am feed and hopefully, if she's had some awake time earlier, she might be sleepier at this feed time and settle back quicker.
Just an idea but it might be worth a try. It would be a lot less knackering for you both if you could reduce the amount of wakeful time post midnight, anyway.
DS is similar to your son and after DD I think he is miraculous. Three whole hours sleep, altogether one after the other in the night, more than once, at less than nine months! All my Christmasses have come at once!
To put it another way, we have a 11 week old who often sleeps between 6/8 hours at night. Everybody we meet thinks its miraculous, including us. DS1 certainly didn't but DS2 is just one of those babies. It's certainly nothing to do with us or anything we are doing as its all pretty much the same as for DS1, who didn't sleep through until 18 months.
Sorry. Sounds about right to me. DS didn't sleep 5 hours in row until he was 10 months.
Totally normal. And things will change all the time. Babies are notoriously unpredictable and inconsistent, so rendering that helps too. Someone told me when DD was born (now 17mo) to enjoy every moment. So that was my mantra during night feeds and I learnt to enjoy it as a special time just the two of us (she was bf).
It helps hugely actually to know that this IS normal!!
Have got paranoid with people telling me she 'should' be going longer at night by now and only waking once... Eg my mother...
Those timings seem about right to me.
My two fed every two and a half hours for the first four months, but then settled into a similar pattern as yours (7.30 ish / 12.30am ish / 3.30 am ish / 6.30 am ish) and stuck with that pattern til they were about 2 years old. Then it started to space out a bit and eventually they sleep through (7.30 pm to 6am) most nights now they're 2 and a half years.
It really is entirely normal, and your child needs good/drink/cuddles/reassurance through the night for a good while yet. 'Sleeping through' becomes such a holy grail that lots of mums lie about it, or think that sleeping 11pm to 3am is 'sleeping through'.
One way to cope is to split the feeds. One of you get to bed at 8.30/9pm, knowing you'll be up to do the 3am ish feed, and one of you do the 11pm ish feed, knowing you can then sleep til 7am ish.
IMO it is far better to adjust your expectations of your tiny babies sleep than it is to adjust the sleep pattern. Give your baby all this reassurance now, and it will pay off in the future
Snap MatersMate, although it's ds here. Roll on the teenage years when we can't get them out of bed
My DD is 2, and I've just put her back to bed! My.Kid.Does.Not.Sleep.
Yup sorry but am up with my 19mo at the mo and he feeds twice still. 4hrs unbroken sleep is still a newsworthy event! Not what you want to hear as you do have an issue with the time to get back to sleep. That' s what you should focus on rather than frequency of feeds. Do you feed in the dark, in the bedroom, avoiding nappy change if possible, etc.....
Ten weeks old is tiny. Tiny babies don't sleep very well.
Split shift with her father, and nap during the day
because you won't be able to with the second one and although it seems like a long time now, it'll be over soon enough.
She's only 10wks old. Very normal! Rest during the day when she naps.
You and dh take turns. Dh would feed ds fri and sat nights I would do week nights.
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