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Need to stop Bf - feeling sad

(6 Posts)
BettyStogs Wed 08-May-13 23:22:02

DS is almost 20 months, and the plan was to allow him to self wean, however I am now rethinking this and have made the decision that I am going to start winding down bf.

DH & I want to TTC #2, but I haven't got my period back yet. I'm turning 39 this month so feel that time is not on my side. If I was 10 or even 5 years younger I don't think I would be stopping yet.

I think it's the right decision, but I do feel sad about it, and worried that it will affect my relationship with DS. He's always been pretty much fed on demand, and I'm not really sure how to go about stopping with the least amount of upset all round.

BuffyFairyTopsTheTree Wed 08-May-13 23:36:01

Please don't feel guilty if you do stop. Almost 20 months of breastfeeding is fantastic. You and your DS will still have a strong bond when you stop.

I know everyone is different but I found my periods came back when DD was 18.5 months when I cut back her feeds to just morning and bedtime. Her canines cutting through were too painful for me!

If you're unsure about giving up completely maybe try that for a month.

I night weaned by explaining that boobies were asleep until morning and luckily DD accepted that. Daytime was trickier. Distraction helped as did repeating 'we have milk at bedtime'. There were a few small tantrums. I did feed her if she'd hurt herself.

You need to do what's best for you as a family and if giving up breastfeeding means you can TTC no 2 then think of it as giving the gift of a sibling to your DS rather than taking something away from him. He'll be fine! grin

BettyStogs Wed 08-May-13 23:51:01

Thanks for your kind words, Buffy. He's been night weaned for about 3 months - that was mostly DH's work for which I will always be grateful, but unfortunately didn't do the trick in regards to getting my cycle back on track, (although the vastly improved sleep is a bonus)

I'm going to try and drop one feed at a time, which I guess may help, even without stopping completely. He's still bf to sleep at bedtime blush so that one will have to be the last to go.

YoniOrNotYoni Wed 08-May-13 23:55:28

I'm going through this at the moment (got a thread going somewhere too) so you can have my hand to hold so long as you squeeze it back from time to time. We night weaned about two months ago and cut out the evening feed five nights ago . It's breaking my heart, but it's working. Good luck x

BettyStogs Thu 09-May-13 19:57:23

Thanks Yoni, have a hand squeeze from me. How old is your DC?

I'm feeling a bit more positive about the decision today, although not going to start dropping feeds for a couple of weeks as we're going away so will be easier hopefully when we're back in routine.

YoniOrNotYoni Thu 09-May-13 21:22:32

Thanks for the squeeze. He's 21 months. I'm going away at the end of June so we're trying to get him used to going to sleep without me. I still feel guilty (one of the downfalls of parenthood?!) and my heart almost broke at his little hopeful face peering over my side of the bed this morning as if to say 'now can I have milk mummy?'

Part of me thinks we're confusing him by just dropping some feeds, but I'm definitely not ready to quit completely.

It's a minefield isn't it?

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