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Help - 16.5 mo refusing to feed

(14 Posts)
Messing Tue 07-May-13 12:38:38

DD has been down to around 3 BFs a day (morning, nap time and evening) for the last 2-3 months, and has fed without any problems. However, she's had a nasty cold/temp in the last couple of days and has refused to feed point blank sad I haven't pushed her into anything (obviously), just gently offered but she's not interested and even started crying once, which upset me as well.

Is this likely to be self-weaning? I had hoped to get to 2 years (or 18 months at least) but if she wants to wean that's of course entirely up to her. It's just odd it happened to suddenly, without gradual cutting down.

At the moment I am still offering (gently) a couple of times a day, and pumping when I have to (not often - it seems like supply is fairly low anyway). Should I carry on doing this? At what point do I give up and call it a day?


cathan Tue 07-May-13 14:00:09

Give her a few days to get over the cold - a blocked nose can make feeding very hard work. Keep offering the feeds she was having (using a breast pump if you're uncomfortably full). If she still refuses to feed when she's properly better, you'll have to accept that she has weaned herself. If that is the case, it will be sad for you, but remember that you've done a fantastic thing.

Messing Tue 07-May-13 21:04:19

thanks cathan, I will persevere for a few more days. if she's all done with BF That obviously her call, just strange as she was keen up to 2 days ago.

WouldBeHarrietVane Tue 07-May-13 23:25:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WouldBeHarrietVane Tue 07-May-13 23:28:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Messing Wed 08-May-13 20:01:47

thanks Harriet. I am trying to stay positive but have had more refusal since I last posted which makes me think it's the end. I tried just before bedtime tonight and she started crying and turned away sad Her cold is getting better but it doesn't seem to Have improved things. I will try a couple more days but for my sanity and for dds sake that will be it I think. I know it's unusual to self wean before 2- that makes it worse I feel, think I've done something wrong but can't think what. thanks again for responding .

WouldBeHarrietVane Wed 08-May-13 21:24:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WouldBeHarrietVane Wed 08-May-13 21:26:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Messing Wed 08-May-13 22:08:41

Harriet, I did actually try a late night sleepy feed last night but was turned away. just wish I knew whether. to call it a day or keep trying, my heart sinks a bit more after each refusal. sad

WouldBeHarrietVane Wed 08-May-13 22:25:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Messing Wed 08-May-13 22:54:49

Thanks again Harriet, appreciate the hug and comforting words thanks

I will give it another day or 2. Can't believe how bereft I feel - it's ridiculous. People have far worse things to worry about..

violetlights Wed 08-May-13 23:02:46

Just wanted to say I really, really sympathise Messing. My boy has just self-weaned at 6.5 months (still pumping in case he changes his mind - but it's coming up to 3 weeks...) It's a horrid feeling - I've spent so many evenings now in tears...

But one thing that gives me comfort is knowing that it is the baby making the decision. A very good lactation consultant said to me, that as horrible as it feels, it is much better that the baby is refusing you rather than the other way round. She said that can make you feel even worse to have to refuse a baby /toddler when they want to feed... hope your LO changes her mind. Hugs.

Messing Wed 08-May-13 23:13:11

Thank you violetlights. Yes, you're right about the baby making the decsion and not having to refuse them yourself instead - just happened a bit sooner than expected for both of us! I guess we must have strong-willed, independent DC grin God help us when they're older.
Hugs and hand-holding back to you, hope your evenings get easier.

violetlights Thu 09-May-13 20:38:36

Too right on the independent thinkers! Thanks for your thoughts, Messing - I still hate it, but it is getting easier... smile

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