Please reassure me that this is an ok plan for giving up

[YoniOrNotYoni]

DS is 20mo. Until Friday, he still BF-ed pretty much on demand (between 2-6 feeds a day) and, given half a chance, would probably still be EBF (much prefers milk to food)

I'm ready to give up though so for the last 48 hours I've given him his usual (massive) feed in the morning and a short top up just after his nap and that's it. I've given him a kiss and handed him a bottle at bedtime (cue screaming) and left DH to calm him down with cuddles and stories. It hasn't affected his sleep and he seems happy during the day (possibly more cuddly, but that might be because I'm grabbing him for snuggles at every opportunity to reassure him)

Does this sound okay?

I feel awful. I hate seeing his little hopeful face every night when he expects me to get into bed with him and I don't. I miss cuddling up with him and feeling his little cold hands on my belly, but I desperately need my body back and think I'm ready to stop.

Please someone reassure me, I'm not harming him by withdrawing this routine/comfort am I?

[woopsidaisy]

Yoni I'm not much help but wanted to sympathise. DS3 is mo and still very happy to bf, like you up to 6 feeds in the day and more at night. I'm ready to give up.
But he loves it. And snuggles in. And loves lying beside me....it will not end well.
I'm sure you're doing great, and dreading my turn!

[woopsidaisy]

Sorry, 8mo.

[littlestressy]

Yoni I know how you're feeling and I know what you mean about feeling ready to stop and wanting your body back.

My son is 17mo and I'm slowly withdrawing the bf, he loves to bf, will come and snuggle and say 'boo-boo?' which I adore.....but I'm ready to stop now and sounds like you are too.

You're giving him lots of snuggles and cuddles and I'm sure just gently saying no and he will get there in time. I'm doing the same with my son and it is hard, especially when he looks so hopeful. Hopefully within a week or so we should both have managed to wean our babies off the boob!!

[cherryade8]

Hi Yoni, sounds fine to me. My dd is 16mo and bfs before bed and during the night. I'm thinking of giving up, but she loves it. It would be great to hear how you get on :-)

[Tincletoes]

Yoni my 18m old has just given up bf. it ended in a way I never thought it would - completely cold turkey. Basically she either started feeding in a terrible position with an awful latch, or possibly gave me thrush - feeding became utterly agonising, my nipples were cut to bits and red all over. I literally could not feed her any more.

I was expecting a terrible time but we went out and did the whole "buying a big girl cup" and I was absolutely amazed as to how easy it was. And believe me this is a child who was utterly addicted, feeding many times in the day and night. We had a couple of disturbed nights where she asked to feed, but because I was in do much pain I just couldn't give in and she gave up v quickly. We had tried doing all the Jay Gordon stuff before as I had been hoping to stop, but without success, and I really can't believe it was so easy. She still gets on our bed every night (any time between 12 and 4) but now she just lies down and sleeps.

Honestly she is happier for the extra sleep, and so are we. We have had a bit of clinginess but I'm happy to cuddle her more, and it has all been good. I was happy to give up and if that's what you have decided then I'm sure you can do it too. Good luck! I really can't believe I'm writing this post as I thought she'd end up being 6 before i managed it!

[YoniOrNotYoni]

Thank you all. That is reassuring. We've just had another good night and he's just come running through with a big smile for a cuddle and feed.

Did she understand the 'big girl cup' thing Tincle? My friend did similar by taking her ds to buy a new cuddly toy to sleep with, but he was older. I just don't think ds would understand. Maybe I underestimate him!

[MoominsYonisAreScary]

Sounds like you are doing great! Not the same thing but one of mine had bottles at night until really late (just about to turn 2) we did the big boy cup, I wasn't sure he would understand as he wasn't very verbal but he did and it worked well.