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BF DD so hard to feed, considering giving up at 12 weeks.

(15 Posts)
abigboydidit Sun 21-Apr-13 13:14:36

DD just turned 12 weeks and I had planned to BF until she was at least 1 year old. Her brother was always a bottle refuser but I didn't mind as he was so easy to BF that it made it really convenient.

DD has always been a bit more tricky but in the past week has started becoming really hard to feed (except for during night feeds). She screams and screams, even though the nipple is right there and I pretty much have to strip to the waist and wander round with my boobs out until she finally takes it. I never wait till she's crying for food but it's as if the minute I start unbuckling my bra, she goes from smiling to screaming. Matters have got worse over the past couple of days as she's gone from feeding on both sides every time to feeding on one side, then screaming when I wind her (I let her come off herself), taking literally a few gulps from the 2nd side and then going crazy. She screams and claws at the breast refusing to take it, then goes back on and does the same thing again. I've tried dark rooms, quiet places, soothing music, white noise, lying down, standing up and swaying...confused

DS is not quite 2 years old yet and I am finding this is starting to have an impact on him too, as I am now scared to go anywhere as I never know whether she will take a feed happily or spend 5 minutes screaming before finally latching on..and now the added stress of her going into a meltdown mid feed.

Although she's not great with bottles I am now considering putting full effort into that and just weaning her from the breast altogether, even though it's not what I really want. Can anyone advise if this is just a phase or if there's anything I can do? Am feeling so torn and upset, I don't know what to do for the best.

cherrycherry41 Sun 21-Apr-13 13:46:08

Have you tried stripping her to just her nappy? This used to calm my DD down when we would have skin to skin whilst BFing. I would also be concerned about anything youre eating that may be giving her tummy ache? She may well be intolerant to something so may be worth a check with your gp.
You can do what you put your mind to OP, please dont give up if you feel you will regret it. You are a supermum for going through all this and still going at 12 weeks, so much admiration for you!

Honeymoonmummy Sun 21-Apr-13 13:51:41

It could be silent reflux or an allergy. You could try cutting dairy out of your diet for a couple of weeks - hard but do-able - I know, I'm 18 months into it! smile

abigboydidit Sun 21-Apr-13 14:01:08

Thanks for the replies. Have tried skin to skin but no improvement. DS has a CMP and egg allergy so that was the first thing I tried this time.. Sigh! I have no idea what to do. She's now totally refusing to feed. Nothing since 9am sad

Honeymoonmummy Sun 21-Apr-13 20:22:54

She might have been put off by how it's made her feel before, even if you've stopped dairy and egg now ( my DS is the same btw, dairy and egg). Or it might be an allergy to something else, nuts maybe? Or could she just be teething? Does she go on for a dream feed? I'm sorry, I'm not being much help! I just know that the dairy alternative formula milks aren't very palatable and I wouldn't want you to give up BF just to find you have a nightmare facing you x

Honeymoonmummy Sun 21-Apr-13 20:23:40

How long have you been off them for? It can take up to 3 weeks apparently.

Purplehonesty Sun 21-Apr-13 20:32:44

Get her checked for oral thrush. My dd had it at 12 weeks and she did the same, cried at me when I tried to feed her, refused to feed and went mental. She must have had such a sore mouth poor baby and I didn't realise til a friend said her baby had done the same.
Got daktatin gel for her and cream for me from doc and she was better in a couple of days.

Betterbet Sun 21-Apr-13 20:43:02

Poor you! Get to HV or GP tomorrow and have her checked out. Mine did this and I struggled through it but nearly went mad in the process. Looking back I expect she had reflux. Mine would only feed while being bounced up and down - at home I did this on that maternity ball thing - when out and about I looked like a complete nutcase. I remeber panicking at 6 weeks because she refused for about 16h - finally fed in the bath with me so you could try that.

I had about 18months between my 2 as well and fucking hell those feed refusal days were dark. I have so much sympathy for you, I really remember how hideous it is. I know with me the tenser and more upset I got (which was very) the worse the feed went. I know this is fuck all help, though. Lots of love - if it is any consolation after being a nightmare baby mine is now an angel toddler and I can be very smug at playgroup while clinging to what remains of my mental health.

abigboydidit Sun 21-Apr-13 20:43:16

Thanks again for the replies. We don't tend to have dairy/eggs in the house because of DS so I only have it once in a blue moon (otherwise it's a nightmare of tantrums when he wants what I'm having..) so I am fairly confident it's not that but I appreciate any ideas. I put her to sleep on our bed for a nap this afternoon and managed to guide my boob into her mouth for a feed on one side at about 3.30/4pm. She was playing happily at 5.30pm so I quickly picked her up and popped her on and she fed both sides, smiling away. Refused bedtime feed so I turned off all the lights and turned on her mobile which had lights/music and she loves & we stood watching that. While she was looking at that I slid her down my body and managed to get my nipple in her mouth and she then took the full feed happily - in fact she came back for seconds!

Are there any signs of oral thrush I could look for? I shall consult Dr Google..

abigboydidit Sun 21-Apr-13 20:49:01

Oh Betterbet your post almost made me cry! Didn't see it till I posted mine. DH just doesn't understand how tough it feels. I've been either pregnant or BFing for almost 3 years and my body just doesn't feel like my own. What made it okay was the lovely bond it created between DS & I and how convenient it was. This time it's just so hard sad. My breasts are covered in scratch marks and I am starting to worry about how I can leave the house. Was meant to be meeting an old friend for coffee tomorrow but I cancelled as the thought of trying to feed her out and about is so unpredictable and frightening.

Blimey..I am a right whinge blush

PrimalChic Sun 21-Apr-13 20:59:17

You poor thing. My DS has been going through a silo mar thing for the last 4 weeks (he's 18 wks). It seems like he's frustrated that I'm not letting down immediately after he latches and he wakes up every 30-60 minuta at night to feed/fuss/cry. It's easier when he's not tired (I usually feed him til he sleeps), when he's happy or when he's distracted by a mobile playing nursery rhymes very loudly.

It's been easing off the last week or so, hoping it's just another phase.

No tips other than to keep up with the distractions if it's working! You're doing a brilliant job getting this far with another DC to look after too.

abigboydidit Sun 21-Apr-13 21:05:18

Thanks. We have been trying to (re)introduce a bottle for the past couple weeks so I wonder if I should just knock that on the head for now? Am just at a total loss! At the risk of sounding like a lazy Mum, BFing was a bit of a cure all for DS and if all else failed & he was having a meltdown, a quick suck would settle him right down. Will definitely check out the thrush issue. She has seemed a bit parpy and wind is apparently a symptom. TBH am clutching at straws here confused

catlady1 Mon 22-Apr-13 16:52:20

My DD does this too, in fact I'm on here looking for advice because she's been screeching all night and all day, yet refusing to feed. I've resorted to giving her an ounce of formula to calm her down a bit, then quickly swapping the bottle for boob, but I feel like I'm pushing my luck with that now - I have a feeling that she much prefers the bottle and that I'm ultimately making things worse.

Incidentally, she did have oral thrush, but she fed fine when that was at its worst. The most obvious symptom is white spots or a thick white coating on the tongue, lips or inside the mouth (but make sure it's not just milk before you ring the doctor!)

minipie Mon 22-Apr-13 21:00:50

Long shot but has she been checked for tongue tie? dd had posterior tongue tie and it was about this age that it really became a problem. some of what you describe sounds similar to dd. worth checking out?

abigboydidit Mon 22-Apr-13 21:04:58

Hi - minipie yes she did have a posterior tongue tie (DS had an anterior one..) but both of them had it snipped when just days old. I spent the day in the house with her today and went bra-less, with just a vest top that I could yank down in seconds. The faster access seemed to really ease her frustrations and there was only one slight wobbly moment when she started to kick off when latching on (but decided against it) & another when she took just a few gulps and then started fighting (so I just took her off and stopped the feed straight away). Decided basically just to put ourselves under house arrest for the next couple of days to see if can crack it. Fingers crossed!

catlady1, DD wont even take a bottle at the moment so it's boob or nowt. Have you had any luck?

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