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Day 4 and can't take it anymore

(63 Posts)
iheartshoes Tue 16-Apr-13 06:20:10

My DD was born on Friday night after an EMCS. As soon as I was in recovery I tried to get her to go on the boob and fed her that night , all seemed to go ok and I was so pleased with myself for feeding her. But since coming home yesterday (when my proper milk started coming in) my nipples are so dry and cracked it excruciating especially when she feeds . I think it's a latch problem she takes in too much of the top part of the areola but I find positions her to feed so so hard because of the pain in my stomach from
The section. Midwife came yesterday and showed me the football / rugby ball hold? Which worked when she was there but I've been trying to do that all night and she won't take it Im not doing it right. I can only get her to feed if she lies across me on a pillow which is causing me so much pain . I'm so so tired and frustrated and dreading the next feed . I don't think the feeding is even working properly as she hadn't had many dirty nappies. I've always wanted to breastfeed, birth didn't go how I imagined so I thought I could make it up by breastfeeding her but I just can't. I've been trying to look up instructions online but I'm just so tired my brain can't function anymore. Someone please help mem at the end of my tether. I'm crap with instructions over the phone and I'm in too much pain with my stomach to go to any breastfeeding support classes. This is so not how I dreamed my first days with my baby would be someone please please help me

NotTreadingGrapes Tue 16-Apr-13 06:23:15

Oh bless you.

First of all, congratulations on your baby!

I breastfed a million years ago so am next to useless but some wonderful MNers will be around soon and will sort you out.

The only thing I can think of to say right now is just to stay in bed with her, of course you are hurting all over my love, you've just had a C-section.

Hang on in there, the lovely Tiktok and others will be around soon enough flowers

NotTreadingGrapes Tue 16-Apr-13 06:24:36

Looking at old threads, send someone to get you some Lansinoh for your nipples for starters.

NotTreadingGrapes Tue 16-Apr-13 06:28:09

Some of the posts here might help. smile

HanBanan89 Tue 16-Apr-13 06:28:58

Hello, I feel for you Hun when my milk came in and for a good week or do after my nipples were agony I really had to syke myself up to getting my DD to latch, and then I had to really bite my tongue to stop myself from crying untill she was on properly. It it honestly does pass and now it doesn't hurt at all.
After every feed put lots of lanalin on each nipple, I also added Vaseline on top do my nipples wouldn't stick to the breast pads.
I also use the rugby ball hold and use a feeding pillow, which I find helps us both get into the correct postion,
Take hold of you Dd head with one hand and support your breast with the other make sure your nipples is at Dds nose when you offer her you boob and as she opens her mouth bring her up and towards you. Keep hold of her head and your breast till you feel she is latched properly, usually when the pain stops! You shouldn't heAr any slurpy noises when she is settled and sooking if you do that means your boy latched properly.
I'm no expert but hope that helps. Lots of luck smile

Gobbolinothewitchscat Tue 16-Apr-13 06:35:48

Big hugs. I've got a 20 week old DS. No section but similar problems. He was diagnosed with a tongue tie

I'll never forget those first few days and nights at home panicking g over the feeding.

I'm going to search out some links and post but have you asked a midwife about tongue tie? Also, your DH needs to call the community midwives and insist that someone comes in to see you ASAP this morning When the midwife comes, get DH to take videos and photos when you get your DD latched on and then DH can hopefully help you once the midwife has gone v

I never managed to properly establish breastfeeding. However, I was a good expresser do I've basically managed to feed DS expressed milk (bar the odd bottle of formula from 16 weeks). I knew things weren't working re feeding DS in the early days so basically thanks to my DH who did a load of googling started expressing with a pump from day 3. That really helped with establishing my supply. It also helped me mentally as feedi g DS was so painful I dreaded it so giving him expressed milk gave me a break.

I know the advice is not to give a bottle at this stage so we used a feeding cup til DS was about 14 days and then just decided to go down the bottle route as the expressing was working a lot better than the breast feeding.

If you have a pump, I'd suggest getting on it now. If you don't, hand express at least. You need a good electric one. I have a lactaline (can get on amazon prime) and it's great. Medela are also good.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Tue 16-Apr-13 06:37:33

I mean do the expressing if you really can't bear to feed DD just to keep your supply up rather than going in to ff

RunningOutOfIdeas Tue 16-Apr-13 06:38:00

I have had 2 c-sections. The first was emcs. I was given a large V-shaped pillow by a relative. It was the best present I received. Laying DD1 along the pillow while using the rugby hold worked for me.

Definitely use loads of Lansinoh.

What painkillers are you taking for your stomach? The pain should not be unbearable. You can take codeine and bf quite safely.

catlady1 Tue 16-Apr-13 06:39:15

I had this, I was in tears every time my DD fed for the first few days, in the end I sent DP out at 6am for formula because I couldn't take it anymore. But luckily we got some help and persevered and four weeks on she's ebf and we're both happy smile

Do you have a breastfeeding support worker? We had one visit us a couple of times in the first week and she was brilliant. Initially she showed me the rugby ball hold too, because I have big boobs and I think that's the go-to position for the hefty-of-nork. But I found it difficult to get right, especially in bed at night when I couldn't prop DD on the arm of the sofa. So I tried a cross-cradle hold on a pillow like you've been doing and that's what I've used ever since.

The most important thing is the latch. You've probably heard this over and over but if baby is latched correctly, it shouldn't hurt (although I'm pretty sure everyone's nipples get a bit sore the first few days and then sort of heal over a bit tougher). What I was shown was to get comfy, then tickle baby's lip or nose with nipple to get her to open her mouth. When her mouth is wide open, squeeze your breast so as much of it as possible will fit in her mouth and the nipple is aimed towards the roof of baby's mouth, and then quickly push her onto the nipple, and hold her firmly behind the shoulders until she's sucking properly. If it hurts a lot, break the latch and start again. Basically you want to shove as much boob in baby's mouth as you can - she shouldn't be sucking your actual nipple at all really, it should be right at the back of her mouth. You'll probably have to hold her quite firmly despite a lot of wriggling at first, so she can't pull away and go back to just sucking the nipple if that's what she's used to.

Sorry for the epic post, I hope you can decipher it! Best of luck!

iheartshoes Tue 16-Apr-13 06:47:49

Thank you all so much for replying going back to bed to try again, DH gone to 24 hour chemist to get the lanolin and i have left a message with community midwives on answer phone asking them to
Come out again . She Is sleeping now looking at her just breaks my heart when she came out the cord was all wrapped around her neck she needs a mummy who can feed her . I'm worried also we have to go to hospital to get her checked out when they say as it took her 45 hours to pass the first poo they said she might have bowel problems in which case I know she needs breast milk to help her and I'm just so scared I won't be able to

noblegiraffe Tue 16-Apr-13 06:48:12

Definitely get some Lansinoh ASAP and slather it on after each feed - it doesn't need to be wiped off before feeding (Vaseline does btw), and it will really help your sore nipples.

I always found the cross cradle hold easiest for feeding a newborn, baby should be supported by your arm rather than lying on a pillow, which would put less pressure on your scar? Or maybe you could try a breastfeeding pillow?

Are you taking your painkillers? Proper ones, like diclofenac taken with paracetamol?

Phone the midwife and ask her to come out again for more support, or ask if there are any breastfeeding consultants who will do home visits.

Are baby's nappies turning yellow?

If you are feeling weepy and awful at the moment, this is completely normal. A few days after birth, when your milks kicks in your hormones go mental and everything seems like a disaster and you just want to curl up and cry. It does get better, but if you aren't expecting the hormones, it's a bit of a shock to feel so bad when you think you should be happy.

fruitpastille Tue 16-Apr-13 06:48:49

Mine are 6 and 3 now but your post brings it all back i could have written it myself! Day 4 is the absolute pits and i have never cried so much.

Things that helped me...

Telling myself i would just feed for one more week.
Expressing and giving the milk in a bottle. Expressing is not easy st first i second medela electric pump.
Lansinoh cream applied liberally.
Nipple shields. I used these against some advice and they kept me feeding for months.

Hope you feel better soon. Congratulations on your babyx

iheartshoes Tue 16-Apr-13 06:50:36

I'm taking paracetamol and ibuprofen the midwife said not safe to take codeine but is it definitely ok ?

iheartshoes Tue 16-Apr-13 06:52:09

She hasn't pooed since about 3am this morning and when she did it was just a browny green not yellow , it was runny though and lighter than the poo she did I'd hospital

Gobbolinothewitchscat Tue 16-Apr-13 06:57:19

Agree with pastille re the expressing. At first I was only getting 30 mls a session but very quickly I could get 1000mls a day a was freezing like a mad thing.

Don't be dispirited if it looks like not much. Little and often to mirror the breast feeding. Is your mum about? Mine basically moved in and took over all household chores so I could concentrate on the breastfeeding and expressing

I remember feeling exactly like you too - like a shit mum - DS had been in scbu with low blood sugars after birth and I was terrified he would be re admitted. You are not a shit mum. You're doing amazing y well and doing all you can to establish feeding. That is all that can be asked of you

noblegiraffe Tue 16-Apr-13 07:01:27

If poos are starting to change colour, that's a good sign that baby is getting enough milk.

You should be on better painkillers than that, no wonder you're struggling with the pain. Shame on the hospital for not sending you home with some. Not sure how you'd get prescribed some, if you phone the GP can they do you a prescription? I was sent home from hospital with a two week supply of diclofenac, to take with paracetamol and it was definitely ok for breastfeeding. You need to demand better pain relief, they shouldn't be letting you be in pain, it's completely unnecessary.

50shadesofbrown Tue 16-Apr-13 07:04:47

Looking at the replies above, some great advice so I can't really add much to that, but I didn't want to read & run. My first few days & weeks were also teeth-clenchingly painful so I sympathise, didn't have CS but did have many stitches in my fanjo. Have you tried feeding while laying down on your side, baby next to you on the bed? As you won't need to hold baby as much, could try this which leaves upper hand free to support your stitches, or maybe experiment with a pillow against your tummy.
Lansinoh is definitely the way to go, & upthread someone mentioned expressing to keep your supply up - do try this if possible, it saved my milk which dried up on 1 side after I stopped feeding my Dd on that side for a couple of days.
Good luck & congratulations on your new baby.

iheartshoes Tue 16-Apr-13 07:04:53

I didn't know you could do that , I asked the midwife who discharged me and she said only patacetamol and ibuprofen was nothing else they could give ! Will call my GP at 9am and beg ...

fruitpastille Tue 16-Apr-13 07:09:20

Also some breast feeding counsellors will come to you. The nct or la leche league might be cake to give you the number of someone local. If you can face going back to the hospital you could arrange to see their feeding advisor.

The other thing to remember is that many babies have formula and not to feel guilty if that is what you choose.

Naebother Tue 16-Apr-13 07:09:50

Congratulations of the birth of your baby.

Breast feeding is hard for first few days you are tired and its a lot of wear on a very sensitive part. Day 3/4 is the hardest because your hormones are crashing and you feel exhausted and unable to keep going.

It gets easier.

Call your midwives. Get them to check your scar, medication and help you with the latch.

Things I found that helped.
Ice pack on the side of my breast when starting the feed.
Lots of cushions to support
As others have said, lanisoh the purple one helps.

With dc1 my nipples bled and lanisoh helped so much. Dc2 wouldn't open wide enough and struggled to latch. Try holding outside your nipple with two fingers to press it into a sausage shape. Also use your finger in their mouth to widen a bit. It worked for us.

I hope things improve for you soon. X

Notafoodbabyanymore Tue 16-Apr-13 07:09:54

Bless you, your post could have been written by me when DD was a newborn! (She's 3 now.) I would also say that you need to see a breastfeeding consultant (or whatever they're called in your area) and ask about tongue tie. That was the source of our problems.

Get a pump and express, get some nipple shields.

You are doing a fantastic job, and this horrible time will pass, I promise.

Congratulations on your baby.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Tue 16-Apr-13 07:40:26

Also - use the lansinoh when you are expressing too. Sorry if that's flippin' obvious but I was so knackered I got it in to my head that the lansinoh was just for breast feeding.

Unfortunately, DH didn't realise so wasn't able to point out I should be using it for the expressing til a week later!

TwitchyTail Tue 16-Apr-13 11:23:56

The My Brest Friend pillow is great for positioning baby and keeping off scar area. A bit pricey new (at John Lewis/Mothercare) but there are some on ebay, or it may be worth the investment anyway if it keeps you breastfeeding (or if you happen to be near Manchester I'll lend you mine!)

oscarwilde Tue 16-Apr-13 13:54:09

Insist on diclofenac, insist, insist, insist. At least 3 weeks supply. B*stards. [rage on your behalf emotcon]. That's just shoddy.
I could never do the rugby hold. Just couldn't get it to work. You shouldn't be in so much pain that you can't sit and be able to feed in a normal position.
I found that it helps to sit up really straight when you are trying to get the baby to latch on and once everything is sorted and you've stopped breathing through gritted teeth, you can let yourself slide down a little. It's excruciating trying to sit up straighter once you have the baby in your arms though.
Yes to expressing for a day or two if you are in too much pain to bf or your nipples are raw due to poor latch. If you can bear it though, try to keep going and don't stress about nipple confusion it's bollocks imo I have two DD's who had to be bottle fed bm and happily switched to bfing and rejected the bottle later.

InPraiseofOldHouses Tue 16-Apr-13 16:51:32

I found breastfeeding incredibly difficult at first - excruciatingly painful and stressful. I hand expressed in hospital at first and fed baby with syringe. The pumps never worked for me. I had a forceps delivery with a lot of tearing and stitches and I couldn't sit up so

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