Husband

[LittleJack15]

What do people think should husband sleep in bed if can't feed because of breastfeeding and has to go to work?

[YoniBottsBumgina]

Can you elaborate? Are you asking if your husband should help with night feeds or whether he should sleep in your bed?

[tiktok]

????

Need some clarification :)

[DuelingFanjo]

For me it worked better for my husband to sleep elsewhere as he snores and I was breastfeeding so needed sleep when I could get it. I did feel a bit resentful about doing all the work in the night though (and then in the day too) and i think it has made things un-equal in the long term.

Maybe you could feed the baby then hand him/her to your husband to do a nappy change, that way he gets to help. or he could make you a nice drink and come in and coo over your baby with you.

[StealthPolarBear]

I think you should do whatever works for you all. Dh slept in the spare bed for a while when dd was little which I didn't mind as it meant I could get up and put lights on etc without worrying about waking him. But if I had minded that would have been a different issue.

[wellieboots]

bit confused, do you mean should he sleep elsewhere? Not sure how old your baby is, my DD only wakes once so I just feed her in our bed and it doesn't cause too much faff.

[LittleJack15]

No he can't really feed him. Just think he should sleep in the bed, if only for company. But don't know if being unreasonable because awake a lot in the night breastfeeding.

[LittleJack15]

Little one 4 weeks old.

[LittleJack15]

No he doesn't sleep in bed with me.

[YoniBottsBumgina]

Oh I understand. He sleeps in a different bed, because you and the baby are waking him up, but you want him to sleep with you.

I think it is fair for you to want him with you, but I also can see his point - if he is not doing anything for the baby there is no reason for you both to be tired.

Can you find some interesting apps or websites on your phone or a DVD to watch or a good book to keep you occupied?

Does he care for your child in the day?

[LittleJack15]

Yea got my smartphone and kindle. They help keep me awake. He was staying down stairs watching the telly most of the time till I told him he should come up stairs some time to talk to me. So wasn't seeing little one much at all. But has got better with that.

[wellieboots]

When DD was younger, sometimes DH and I slept separately and I hated it. So I feel for you. How often is your DS feeding? You need to get what sleep you can, but you do also need to spend time together when you can. Have a chat to DH and work out something that works for both of you.

[FifiTrix71]

I am also bf'ing up to 3 times a night, and so my DH moved into spare room to get some sleep when DS was about 10 weeks old. DH is a very light sleeper and has to go to work in the morning, and given that he couldn't help with feeds, this was ok by me. And I got to spread out in the bed! DS now almost 6 months, and about to wean him off of night feeds, so then DH and I can go back to sharing a bed.

But on a related note, I think it was also hard for DH to feel of any use when baby was very small. From about 3-4 months he got more involved, because he got so much more feedback from DS.

[MamaBlue4]

My dh sleeps beside me. He knew what he was getting into when we had dc, and we're having no problems so I don't see why he should sleep in a spare bed, and I'd be pissed off if he suggested it. Luckily, we both get up the dc. If dc wakes he wakes up (we take turns) and if he can't calm them then he passes me to them for feeding. We set up a routine.

[Signet2012]

I've ebf dd 7 months old. We don't have any option but to share a bed. He doesn't wake up when she cries or bf

In the early days I did used to glare at him when she was doing 20 mins on 20 off.

[LittleJack15]

Thank you everyone for all the replies