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Anyone ever SAID anything to you about breastfeeding in public?

(351 Posts)
gail734 Fri 12-Apr-13 18:52:52

I don't go out of my way to do this, but yesterday at lunchtime I BFd DD (9 mo) in TGI Fridays. The alternative was going to be some fussy crying. I promise you couldn't see a thing. The two mummies with me looked a bit surprised. The waiter looked horrified. Nobody said anything, though. A friend told me that another woman called her "disgusting" when she realised that she was feeding a new baby in a sling, while walking around a supermarket!

ArabellaBeaumaris Fri 12-Apr-13 19:22:19

Oh, several times other mums have thanked me for feeding in public. Which is odd but nice.

Forgetfulmog Fri 12-Apr-13 19:22:19

Softly - that's awful & from a doctor too! Is your dd ok now?

I was ushered out of a mother & toddler group into a side room when I wanted to feed a 3 month old dd. I didn't go back

Oodsigma Fri 12-Apr-13 19:22:46

Nope and I've fed for 41 months so far!
I'm almost disappointed. Have had a few offers of somewhere private but I always say 'I'm fine here' and carry on.
People are usually nice and the waiter in Pizza Express once offered to cut my food up for me.

chickensaladagain Fri 12-Apr-13 19:23:33

I was asked to go and feed dd2 in the toilets at a restaurant because another customer had complained -she hadn't seen anything but had heard dd1 saying that dd2 was having her lunch before us

I told the waiter to go back and ask the lady if she wanted to eat her lunch in the toilet!

My dad and my brother weren't that keen, I blame my mum who always used to feed us in the bedroom apparently

lisad123everybodydancenow Fri 12-Apr-13 19:24:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Darmont Fri 12-Apr-13 19:24:27

No not one word to me thank goodness. I was very discreet and even fed my dd at the back of church on Sunday morningssmile!!

AllDirections Fri 12-Apr-13 19:26:43

I fed my 3 babies anywhere (discretely of course) and I didn't get any comments with DD1 (16) and DD2 (12) but with there was a couple of incidents with DD3 (6).

I was feeding DD3 in doctor's waiting room and the reception asked if I wanted to go into a private room to feed. I declined and thought no more about it. Then a few weeks later I was in a hospital waiting room waiting for my sister to finish work. Again I was asked if I wanted to feed in a private room and I declined. I would have thought the woman was just being considerate but no, she told my sister it was really inappropriate for me to have been feeding in a public place. After that I questioned whether the doctor's receptionist had felt the same way.

tasmaniandevilchaser Fri 12-Apr-13 19:27:13

No. None at all in 10 mths of bf out and about.

VisualiseAHorse Fri 12-Apr-13 19:27:15

I had a few 'looks' when I was BF 4 month old LO on a bench in the high street, and had a man move away from me in a cafe too, but I think it was more from embarrassment that he'd seen my boob ;)

olivertheoctopus Fri 12-Apr-13 19:31:21

Nope. I'd have bloody loved them too so I could tell them to fuck off. I bf DS1 in a police station whilst giving a statement once (not because I had been nicked!!). Think the weirdest looks I ever got were in the concourse of a French hypermarket but I'm pretty thick skinned!

gail734 Fri 12-Apr-13 19:32:13

LadyBeagle - oh come on, people put much more inappropriate things on AIBU just because of the traffic! I could easily have called the thread "AIBU to BF in public?" but that would be ridiculous. I just wanted to hear everyone's little anecdotes. I remember a great thread about all the stupid things that people had said to them when they were pregnant.

Softlysoftly Fri 12-Apr-13 19:32:47

forgetfulshe's on the mend, had dd1 in children's assessment last night as well, this virus has been a nightmare. The Dr was young I'm therefore giving her the benefit of the benefit of the doubt but it was a bit thick considering they were talking about a feeding tube at one point hmm.

Nurses were amazing though and I got free food for breastfeeding. smile

VisualiseAHorse Fri 12-Apr-13 19:34:52

Oh, and I was sitting next to a woman on the train, busy BF little 3 month DS, and she said 'do you breastfeed?' I wanted to go 'DUHH', but then realised I must be better at being discrete than I first thought.

Another woman on a train (I wasn't feeding him at the time) asked if I bottle or breast-fed. I said I do what ever I feel like at the time and what is most convinient, and she said 'that's the best way, having a choice is the best'.

Annunziata Fri 12-Apr-13 19:35:14

Not by a stranger, no. I wasn't allowed to feed in front of my brothers/dad though (all of whom had seen plenty of breasts but never mind).

In thirty years of cafe/ restaurant work, no one's ever complained to me about a woman feeding either.

Sprite21 Fri 12-Apr-13 19:35:19

Nothing rude or disapproving but I did have a male friend comment rather matter of factly on the spray element (it was early days of getting milk regulated). His girlfriend shot him a quizzical look and I was a bit uncomfortable.
Okay I wasn't trying to hide it but there's no need to comment!

HandMini Fri 12-Apr-13 19:36:00

I'm really torn about private rooms being offered for breastfeeding. I have seen a few signs up, esp in hospitals saying a room is available for feeding. I have asked for and used the rooms several times and they are often v nice with comfy chairs etc. However, if I were being particularly principled about it, should I refuse the use of these rooms and feed in the general waiting area because then it becomes a normalised public activity?

Coffeenowplease Fri 12-Apr-13 19:39:54

I dont think I would know where to look. I like looking at cute little babies but I dont want to stare at some woman trying to feed with her boob out so I sort of notice then look away type thing. I dont have children btw.

First time my friends DW whipped her boob out , right out to feed her DD I was very surprised, mainly because Id never met her before and thought shed be shy but clearly she wasnt at all.

MrsKoala Fri 12-Apr-13 19:40:05

i've had tuts, and a 'disgusting' at a motorway service station when ds was about 3 months.

My mum however, makes the most ridiculous song and dance about it. She hisses 'oh god, you're not going to feed here?' I was ushered into the musty store cupboard at a hall where my neices were having a party. I bf'd at my wedding and mum made more of a spectacle of it than if i had been left to just discreetly do it. She constructed a little 'den' in the corner and insisted on standing with her coat held up, looking round guiltily, as if i was changing my pants on the beach.

One of DH's mates sat giving me filthy looks with a look as tho she was going to vomit - she has made it clear she hates all babies tho and also told us quite seriously 'IT is so ugly' when ds was born, and posts Malthusian hatred on FB. So no real surprise there.

MagratOfStolat Fri 12-Apr-13 19:41:53

See, I had the opposite.

I was at the beginning of my post-natal depression, with my lack of breastfeeding contributing to it in a BIG way. DS just couldn't latch onto me, I'd seen a specialist and was finally told to move to formula because of how distraught I was getting. On top of that, he wasn't sleeping right as he was only 4 or 5 weeks old, so I stopped in the ASDA café to give him a bottle.

Some wretched hag confronted me about "not doing the best by my child" and how young women today care more about how their breasts look than their function. I broke down crying and told her it isn't that I wouldn't, but that I couldn't, that I feel like the worlds shittiest mother every single damn time I put on the kettle and I didn't need her to rub it in my face any more than I needed a bullet in my head.

To her credit, she then apologized and made a quick getaway. But it seems like you can't please anyone, whether breastfeeding or formulafeeding.

abbyfromoz Fri 12-Apr-13 19:42:26

Just sniggers from young studenty types but that didn't bother me... They don't have a clue....yet wink

HandMini Fri 12-Apr-13 19:42:27

mrskoala - jeez, that's awful. Well done for continuing to feed with all the negative influences around you.

ShirazSavedMySanity Fri 12-Apr-13 19:42:45

I rarely fed in public (I was too self conscious) but with my eldest, I sat in a quiet corner of M&S and fed. An elderly last come over to me and said how lovely it was to see something so natural. I was embarrassed but tried not to show it and just said something about her being a hungry girl.

Lots of starring in a pub garden when she was very tiny, but no one said anything.

abbyfromoz Fri 12-Apr-13 19:43:58

Btw- i have actually absentmindedly pumped under a shawl in front of friends but that was at our house. Boobs were about to explode!!! They looked shocked but i couldn't care less! Lol

VisualiseAHorse Fri 12-Apr-13 19:44:31

I think private rooms should be available - we didn't get the 'hang' of breast-feeding until 10 weeks, so a private room was a godsend for us.
I wasn't comfortable during those first 10 weeks feeding in public because my baby would arch his back (almost to the point of falling off my lap), I could spend 10 minutes or so trying to get him latched, my boobs would often be completley exposed, plus a 'quiet' room always helped to calm him as I could sing to him without feeling stupid.
I would've have felt people staring at me, making it harder to latch. (The same way you feel when your toddler is crying in public and you feel everyone is staring and you just want the ground to swallow you up!)

tethering Fri 12-Apr-13 19:44:34

I never had anyone comment and I breastfed everywhere - supermarket, cafes, pubs, parks, etc. The only person who had a problem with it was my mum who would cover me with a blanket or close all the blinds in her house (just in case someone managed to see me through her front windows) grin

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