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Anyone ever SAID anything to you about breastfeeding in public?

(351 Posts)
gail734 Fri 12-Apr-13 18:52:52

I don't go out of my way to do this, but yesterday at lunchtime I BFd DD (9 mo) in TGI Fridays. The alternative was going to be some fussy crying. I promise you couldn't see a thing. The two mummies with me looked a bit surprised. The waiter looked horrified. Nobody said anything, though. A friend told me that another woman called her "disgusting" when she realised that she was feeding a new baby in a sling, while walking around a supermarket!

SooticaTheWitchesCat Thu 18-Apr-13 11:35:15

I never had a bad comment from anyone about feeding either of my girls and I use to feed them anywhere they needed feeding.

KristinaM Thu 18-Apr-13 11:35:49

Thumb witch -my Ds is 7 and looks rather wistfully at babies being bf. once he whispered to me sadly " I can't remember how it tastes"

( he knows its very sweet )

bicyclebuiltforfour Thu 18-Apr-13 12:00:40

Reading about how toddlers remember it makes me sad: I BF DD for a year and she doesn't seem to remember at all. She treats it as totally normal when I BF her brother (and talks about how she can't BF yet since you have to be a mummy to have boobies that make milk), but when I tell her that it's how she was fed there's no recollection at all. I know it was 18m ago that we stopped, but it still makes me sad... sad

LadyFlumpalot Thu 18-Apr-13 12:28:24

The only negative I had was from my mum, she regularly mentioned that DS wouldn't be getting enough nutrients or food.

One day, and I'm not proud of this, when she was round my house and I had jut had another lecture about the pitfalls of breastfeeding, whilst making her a cup of tea I decided to ahem use the wrong milk from the fridge for her tea. She drank the tea and said "oooh, that was nice". I informed her we had switched to organic milk. Made me feel a bit better!

Aside from her, only positive comments.

LilRedWG Thu 18-Apr-13 12:55:54

Never had a word said. I even sat on the floor of the Lady's chapel during Sunday service at church. The vicar came over to offer me the peace just as I was putting myself back together. smile

LilRedWG Thu 18-Apr-13 12:58:16

That should have read, "Never a bad word said". I was quite disappointed.

louisianablue2000 Thu 18-Apr-13 13:23:32

I never had a negative comment but I did once the thumbs up from some lads who were walking past outside a cafe I was BFing one of the DCs in. It did make me giggle.

I think most people are actually positive about it. A friend once got shouted at by a woman for BFing on a train and EVERYONE else in the carriage and the staff were really supportive of my friend. IIRC my friend was bumped up to first class and the woman had to leave the train for being disruptive.

NC78 Thu 18-Apr-13 14:01:33

I never encountered any negativity when BFing my two children... if you don't count my bloody MIL hmm

nannyl Thu 18-Apr-13 14:41:02

i breastfed DD until she self weaned at just over a year...

I have fed her anywhere and everywhere... plane / train / airport / michelin starred restaurant / park / NT property / toddler groups / cafe...

No one has EVER said anything negative to me, or looked badly at me EVER.... not once....

and if they did they would have wished they didnt, when i would have pointed out the my infant was human, not bovine and therefore drank human milk rather than cow milk wink

Just to add i have no issue with anyone else feeding their children what they like / cow / human / vegetable / goat or whatever, but if someone was rude enough to question direct to me why i was breastfeeding a baby that would have been my responce back to them

SchroSawMargeryDaw Thu 18-Apr-13 14:46:24

I had an HCA put a screen around DS and I in SCBU. sad I hadn't wanted one and thought it wasn't needed.

I think that was about it though.

MrsReiver Thu 18-Apr-13 14:46:56

Midori - DS1 is 8 and he does that when I feed DS2 in public.

I've not encountered any negativity, but DS2 is only 8 weeks old. There's plenty fo time yet! We did once make a elderly lady cry in the library. I was feeding DS quietly in the corner while his big brother chose a book and she sat next to me to watch. Her DH had passed away recently, and watching me nurse DS brought back a lot of memories for her, we had a chat and she had a wee cry. It was really moving.

ChunkyPickle Thu 18-Apr-13 15:35:24

Never had a negative comment in 20 odd months - just nice little smiles as someone realises what I was doing and discreetly moves on.

I think that the sign of a good waiter/waitress is noticing these things and doing stuff to help - putting your drink down on the right side etc. - they should train people in that kind of thing, rather than harrassing you with 'is everything alright' just when you've put a huge mouthful in grin

I have to admit I don't take offense at (most) people offering me a private space/moving screens or whatever - they think they're making you more comfortable. If they were doing it with a catsbum face rather than a caring one I might feel differently though

SchroSawMargeryDaw Thu 18-Apr-13 15:44:36

Chunky It just dented my confidence at that time. It was the first time I had latched him on and you could see I was happy and cheery, you also couldn't see anything. I had said I didn't need the screen but had it put round me anyway, it made me nervous to BF in front of anyone.

gwenniebee Thu 18-Apr-13 15:51:47

I was at a medals' parade for my Dbro after his regiment had come back from Afghan last year. The Princess Royal was there to present the medals, and afterwards the Officers and their families went to the mess for lunch. HRH was there too (which was a surprise to me, as Dbro said it was "informal"). That day I learnt I can bf standing up... and I did so in front of royalty!! She gave me a friendly smile but sadly did not exclaim as to how wonderful I was.

No negative comments here, although I think my mum might begin to hint that I should stop soon as dd is 9 months now. In the last week if I have been in the bath with dd she has poked my nipples and got very upset, so I think she has linked her milk with where it comes from. She was rather annoyed not to be able to work out how to get to it from where she was sitting....!

Pyrrah Thu 18-Apr-13 16:46:04

I stopped feeding DD when she was 3.5 years (did not plan to, just kind of happened - was convinced we'd be in documentary territory and then she just suddenly stopped)

I live in London and don't have a car, so DD was fed everywhere - buses, tube, trains, walking round supermarkets, museums, restaurants, planes, in the middle of John Lewis furniture department. Basically if she was hungry she got fed wherever we were.

I bought clothes that allowed for minimal exposure of boobs, pp tummy etc but never any of those cover thingies.

I had so many positive comments - old ladies would come up and tell me how wonderful it was, ladies on the bus would cluck approvingly and tell DD she was a lucky girl and all my relatives were supportive (helped that there were 3 of us with similar age DDs all doing extended breastfeeding).

I had one negative comment - an American lady at a dinner once told me that breastfeeding my 2 year-old was disgusting whether in public or at home. Was hilarious when the middle-age man next to her turned round and said that the words disgusting and breast-feeding didn't belong in the same sentence and that he had been breast-fed till her was 4 as had his sisters! The look on her face was wonderful - not one person round the table agreed with her.

working9while5 Thu 18-Apr-13 17:07:14

No, not even when a mistimed delatching resulted in ds1 (3) being, erm, sprayed in the face causing him to SHOUT: "Mummy, why did you spray Rory's booby milk in my face? Why did you DOOOOOOOO that to MEEEEEEEE?" blush.

working9while5 Thu 18-Apr-13 17:07:48

Mistimed delatching of ds2 who would be Rory, of course. Not ds1.

WaitingForPancakeDay Thu 18-Apr-13 17:33:44

Never had a bag thing said and I walked round the Tate Modern with an 8 month DD in my arms feeding.

One thing that made me smile was my dad observing some mums together in the local town with their babies and he remarked how on earth could they breastfeed wearing the clothes they had on (clothes that would make Breastfeeding very hard without exposing far more than a boob). Bless him, it did not cross his little noggin that not everybody breastfeeds and there is an alternative.

ChunkyPickle Thu 18-Apr-13 17:41:27

Awwww - all these toddlers remembering is making me well up! DS only stopped a couple of months ago because I'm pregnant and the milk just dried up (thank god, it was killing me with my pregnant sensitive nipples),

I just don't think I'm going to be able to refuse him if (when) he asks once I've got the new baby.... Goodness knows how I'm going to manage the logistics though.

HorryIsUpduffed Thu 18-Apr-13 18:31:38

ChunkyPickle I doubt he will remember. DS1 weaned during my pgy and had totally forgotten before DS2 even arrived sad

He tried a few times to latch on mostly jealousy and curiosity I think but without success, and soon lost interest.

Cathycat Thu 18-Apr-13 23:22:29

Talking of children remembering being breastfed, my youngest was four and had just started school (!!!) and still talked fondly about how he used to have mummy milk. He would look all soft when he talked about it. He was two when I weaned him off and yes, he did love it, in fact so much that I could barely move around the house lol!!!

ArabellaBeaumaris Thu 18-Apr-13 23:28:30

chunky I weaned dd1 at 2,7 when I was just pregnant with dd2. During my pregnancy she would talk about mummy milk & how it would come back with the new baby, but by the time the baby arrived ahe showed no interest at all in going back on the boob.

WingDefence Fri 19-Apr-13 03:34:42

Thanks to all of you for posting these. I'm currently (as in literally - one-thumb typing!) bfing 3-wek old DD and it's been heartening to read all your stories. As well as handy to get an idea of what to say if I do ever get a negative response while feeding out and about.

Even though I never thought I could or would feed her in public u have done a few times now, in restaurants and cafes. One cafe/tea shop I went to the manager offered to keep my lunch warm but I've become used to eating one-handed so declined gratefully. Other than that, no bad experiences although I probably feel more embarrassed than other diners to be honest (not enough to stop me though) blush

HorryIsUpduffed Fri 19-Apr-13 07:30:36

Well done WingD!

JessieEssex Fri 19-Apr-13 09:50:07

Another one-handed reply here while I bf DD2 (6 weeks old today!) I fed DD1 all over the place and never had a negative comment. I was desperate for one - I was so ready with my responses! The only vaguely catsbum reaction was from my (otherwise lovely) MIL.

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