Struggling with 3wks 2nd dd

[Wishiwasanheiress]

I realise I'm supposed to know stuff being dd2 but I've forgotten. I'm finding books refer to babies but really mean 12 plus weeks. Even this sitr only does a calendar from 6wks. What do I need to know now about crying sleeping bfing? Cluster feeding?

Any tips? I'm for instance struggling to put her down to play with dd1 whose 2. Any tips here? I'm not panicked this time by crying but need her to be off me to do stuff. I can't sit on sofa like last time. How did u manage??? We are bfing. It takes so long...... I feel I'm leaving dd1 out. I'm also in csec post surgery recovery so this is impeding my abilities too.... :(

[Ruthchan]

Don't worry, everyone forgets and every child is different. Your situation is also different this time around because you have a toddler to cope with as well.
It is hard to share your time and energy between the two, but it doesn't have to be impossible.
Have you tried playing with DD1 while BFing DD2?
I used to let DD sit on my knee while I fed DS. There was enough room for her to have a cuddle too, which kept her happy and prevented excessive jealousy.
It's also possible to read stories, do simple puzzles, play games etc while BFing. DC1 doesn't have to feel excluded.

When DD2 cries, it might be for a feed, which means you have to oblige. However, if she is crying for a change or simply a cuddle, feel free to pass her to someone else. At such a young age, she will happily be seen to by people other than you. You can then spend the extra time with DD2, who will really appreciate it.

A sling can really help if you need your hands free while still wanting to hold the baby. Did you use one with DD1?

Generally, don't worry, I'm sure you're doing fine. Follow your instincts and both girls will appreciate your efforts.

[Wishiwasanheiress]

Ruth, aw lovely post. Thank u. Nearly made me cry as kind! Must be hormones or tiredness as really touched me. Will think on ur words. But thanks. Some bits we can work on. Seems obvious once uve done it but I go blank as this still feels strange. Stupid eh?

[lazzaroo]

I know how you feel. Have a 6 week old & 3 year old. Am bf and for first few weeks felt terribly guilty that I was neglecting dd1. Especially as little one doesn't nap easily, needs to be rocked etc, all f which takes time. Things have settled down. Early evenings are the hardest. Trying to get bath, bedtime done with dd2 stuck to me! And I bought a sling but she's not keen.

I agree with playing while you feed, luckily my little one likes reading & puzzles. Both lend themselves well to doing with one hand! I also try to include her as much as possible...she loves choosing a nappy, getting muslin for me etc. And she has her own doll which she has taken to copying my beaviour with....even caught her settling down to breastfeed her the other day! So when I am changing/bathing/feeding dd2 she either helps or I suggest her baby needs changing too & she does it alongside me.

Also don't feel guilty about resorting to Peppa pig or likewise every now and again! good luck!