Just need a little moan about breast feeding.(14 Posts)
Dont get me wrong, I know all the good benefits, I did a 12 week course on becoming a b/f peer supporter. DD 14months old still having about 9 feeds a day and every hour through the night...yes that many.
I'm starting to resent it.
I look at friends who have artificial fed and their babies slept through from about 3 months old, they have nights away from their babies leaving someone else to bottle feed and have content non clingy babies...I realise alot of this is character and I could have expressed and left bottles but
mine is like a crack milk addict never took a dummy or a bottle and has never ever slept longer than 3 hours during the night constantly wanting boob.
partner getting peed off with it now too as he cant do anything to settle dd because all she ever wants is me and my boobs. he also wants his boobs back ..not to mention our bed back instead of having a baby in between us all the time .
back at work and getting so sore and full as only in 2 days a week so supply is kept up through the week with constant feeds.. tried dont offer dont refuse but the other problem is she relies on me to feed to sleep and wont go to sleep any other way and frankly Im too tired and depressed to cope with the crying.
thanks for reading x
It's hard isn't it. I'm starting to feel fed up with bf-ing nearly 9mo DC2...but then I remember how little time they are so dependent on us really...
And wrt your DH wanting 'his' boobs back... He does realise they are now being used for their primary purpose, right?!
Ha ha yeah poor man, he does understand but he is just a bit sick of it all now. Especially since the peer supporting course and all the..."did you know breast feeding ...whatever" comments over dinner. He has been really supportive and just wants me to be happy.
Agh, I too am so sleep deprived. I suffer badly with it, not helped by a resistant 2.5yo too!
Is there anyone who can give you a break? Even for just an hour or so? I've reclaimed one night a week for my hobby, between DS going to bed and his first night feed...it is so so refreshing to have that time to myself, out of the house.
This too shall pass...
Could you switch to a cup or bottle? If you're not happy to carry on of course. Or does your Dc like the actual boob and not the milk?
You can night wean without stopping bf -- the main commitment has to come from your DP, though, with several (fairly sleep-deprived) nights of cuddles and "No, Mummy's asleep. It's time to sleep now. You can have [whatever your term for bf is] in the morning." while you desperately pretend to be asleep. You'd probably want a Bank Holiday weekend to do it over as a result of the sleep-deprived thing.
(Not that you have to night-wean if you don't want to -- but I've found when I'm getting hacked off with bf it's often just the night feeds that are getting to me and I've felt much happier once they are cut out)
Can you drop any daytime feeds (apart from at nap time) to start with? Could distraction and offering a cup/snacks help with that?
I mean drop one at a time, not go cold turkey, I don't think I was very clear.
Oh, lordy, Gem, I'd have gone crackers by now. Mine is 14 months as well, and was very clingy and hard to share care with for a long time. But I went back to work when she was 9 months, and she and her Dad and daycare just had to get on with it; she refused the bottle for a few days, didn't starve, adjusted, is fine.
At 14 months, I would seriously be getting a bit tough. I know you're tired and depressed. I do. Both of mine have been bad sleepers. But I think you're going to have to go sleep elsewhere for a day or two - spare room with earplugs? - and let her Dad try settling her at night with a bottle. It won't be pretty, at first. There'll be crying. But at 14 months, you might be surprised how quickly she gets it that the rules have changed. I'm absolutely NOT saying you should go the CIO route if that makes you uncomfortable; she'd have her Dad there comforting her. But she needs to learn to take a bottle, or a sippy cup. If you're back at work, presumably she has cow's milk during the day now? From a bottle?
You don't have to go cold turkey if you don't want, but yes, drop a day feed or two (at 14 months, you don't need to feed constantly to keep up supply, supply is very robust by now!), and get some help at night. If it helps, I did this with my first DD at this age, sent her Dad in with a bottle of warmed cow's milk, and she drastically cut down her wakeups and was sleeping through by 18 months. If she couldn't have boob, she wasn't going to bother waking up.
I'd try night weaning if I was you. I've heard good things about the NoCrySleepSolution because it offers a variety of methods rather than saying 'this will work'. You can definitely night wean and continue feeding during the day, after all a child taht STTN would be doing this without anyone commenting. Or you can start dictating when you feed, BFing is a relationship and you both need to be happy. Do you know if you want to continue BFing or if you'd like to stop completely? Don't drop feeds too quickly otherwise you could get engorged but if you make a plan to get to a situation you are both happy with just that should make you feel more empowered.
Thanks everyone. Tortoise and casey yes great ideas from both and some reassuring comments. I don't want to stop but I would love to night wean or just be able to have anyone but me put her to bed so I can have a life again. I am back at work but I'm allowed to go home to express or feed and it tends to be always feed so I haven't really got to cows milk yet. I start back on night shifts next month so from what you are saying looks like after pa few bad nights daddy bearing the brunt and she may settle into better sleep? I do totally mollycoddle her and am oh so pfb with her so maybe it is time I start getting tough because she completely rules the roost here.
Tanks all x
Your DD sounds very much like my DS1. 14 months was the age when I cracked and night weaned him. Is your DD sleeping in your bed? That would probably make things a bit more difficult. DS was perfectly capable of snuggling up and helping himself to a feed while I was asleep at that age. Quite a disconcerting thing to wake up to.
Thirding/fourthing/whatevering the recommendation to try night weaning. We night weaned DS1 nearly a year before he finished BF and it made things so much easier.
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