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Advice, experiences handholding on nightweaning (the Jay Gordon way) ?

(6 Posts)
pnin Wed 23-Jan-13 15:49:22

Can you give me some advice?

My situation is a co-sleeping fed-to-sleep 17 month old daughter whose sleep is getting worse and worse and waking between 5-10 times a night. I’m no stranger to this, having been through it with first daughter.

I realize it’s usual with bfed baby and has waxed and waned according to development, teething. Fed my first through pregnancy and tandemed a bit so I ‘get’ it about comfort, and that they form a strong association with sleep with it. Both me and husband carry her in sling for naps, I sometimes feed her for daytime feeds. I’m trying to get as much feeding in the day as he suggests …

I didn’t do nightweaning the Jay Gordon way with my first. I decided at 21 months to feed her to not asleep, then sat on her bed comforting her to sleep. She slept through the first night after an hour of angry tears. A few night’s pain and the job was a goodun (that said, we still sit with her as she goes to sleep at 4-1/2, but that’s another story…) Funnily enough I got my period back that month (that was the aim then) and got pregnant the next, with the Kraken!

I work part time and my husband (who looks after them when I work) works a couple of nights a week. I often start at 6am so leave the house at 5,30, just at the time when she’s clamped to the boob. As you can guess, this makes for a noisy start to all our days and I lie awake in the early hours in anticipation of it.

I’m truly exhausted after nearly four years of bollocks sleep and interrupted evenings that I decided to night wean. I am determined and since she’s my second I’m not quite the soft touch I was with my pfb. That said, I want to be sensitive and I wouldn’t carry on if I thought she was distressed, rather than a bit pissed off her routine was changing.

Anyway. I have passed through the three nights of feeding to nearly asleep (have they met my child? She skips that part) and the three nights of leave em to it. I think we’re on day 8 or 9. Anyway, One or two nights have been good, but others, such as last night, have been bad. Particularly at that time from 4-6 am when they’d normally be clamped to the boob. She’s just awake, pulling my hair, shouting and getting in and out of our bed. Finally asleep at 6 am but that doesn’t leave me much time.

She’s not crying a lot, and if so, it’s more grumpy stuff. I just need reassurance I need to push on through as going back to feeding to sleep (easy when they are babies, hard when they are tired, wriggly alligators with teeth and nails and you want to lie on your front for once in 4 years….) feels like a retrograde step.

Then maybe, I can look forward to knocking the 11pm feed on the head in a few months and get a babysitter and go out properly instead of round the corner to run home at 10.

How did it work for you? Tell me you got there in the end. Please?

tuttavia Wed 23-Jan-13 15:55:36


I can't give you the reassurance you need but I wanted to join this thread as I started with this method last night. So tonight is only night two for us.

So I guess I'm, erm, marking my place blush

I hope the thread is flooded with positive stories smile

pnin Wed 23-Jan-13 20:30:14

Bumping -- anyone? I need resolve today after catastrophic day at work

pnin Thu 24-Jan-13 09:55:17

Good luck tuttavia - last night was a bit better ...

tuttavia Thu 24-Jan-13 18:08:57

Thanks, pnin. Glad to hear last night was better for you. Hope tonight's even better.

tuttavia Fri 25-Jan-13 18:05:00

How did it go?

Things are going pretty well over here, but tonight we start the phase where I refuse to feed altogether, so I'm preparing myself for a rough night.

Are things improving for you?

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