How 'easy' was bfing 2nd time around?(26 Posts)
My 9mo is EBF 3 milk feeds a day now. We were lucky to have a relatively straight forward journey with just a couple of blocked ducts etc - but it took several months before it was consistently easy and pain-free.
Now I'm 5 weeks pregnant I'm wondering if it will be like riding a bike for the next one or if we will go through the same sort of learning curve - after all, the new baby hasn't breastfed before!
I am anticipating a gap of a 4-5 months of stopping (for various but mainly logistical reasons) so won't be 'burning on through' until the next one is born.
I found the first few weeks of bfing dc1 hard and nearly gave up. Looking back I don't think our latch or position was quite right hence pain at first. I did bf him for nearly two years in the end.
Number2 was like falling off a log - even after a CS. She hasn't done it before but I had.
I found DC2 marginally harder. He just wasn't as easy as DC1 abd I had completely forgotten how to BF a newborn. But I was more confident about getting the help I needed quickly second time round
DC2 was BF; DC1 got EBM for six weeks as my only solution to the problems we were having. But the problems first time round made me aware of where to look for support and when to look for it, rather than battle on through. So neither was easy, but the outcome was different because
I got arsier I got the help in quicker and had lower tolerance for things going wrong.
I found feeding, latch etc much easier, and the knowledge that it is so much more convenient than sterilising and any issues can be overcome. However ds2 was a different kettle of fish, didn't sleep as well, would not comfort suck and speed fed, but all babies are different and 6 months on we are still at it. There is 3.5 years between DSs.
I found number 2 easier - at least partly I think because he was bigger and stronger - and also because when I was not questioning whether I was doing it right. But - the afterpains with feeding were really painful and my nipples were still really sore for the first few weeks. So the first few weeks were hard, but since then it has been straight forward. I do have friends though that found it reasonably straight forward with number 1 and harder with the second. So I fear there is an element if luck.
Much, much easier because I knew what to do- I was clueless with DC1.
Agree with bryzoan. After pains were a killer! Sore nipples (more sensitive I think) were for a month. I used loads of Vaseline after each feed. Only 19m between my 2 and ds self weaned 4m before dd's arrival. Bf during pg was really tough though and very painful!
In terms of latch, knowing to feed on demand, not being surprised how often/long he fed for, in those terms, dc2 was easier. However, he was also harder for the first few weeks, as he had jaundice and was slow to get batch to his birth weight. I was more confident at seeking advice/ reassurance though. I was also confident enough to disregard the "advice" given by the paediatrician (you're feeding your two week old too much. You should only be bfeeding him every 3 to 4 hours). Luckily, I knew this wasn't how it worked, told my midwife (who was fantastic), who reported the paediatrician.
In some ways, bf for the second time was easier, in some ways not. Oh, one thing that was easier, feeding in public. I did feed dc1 in public, but for the first few months had all the angst about, oh no, what if people see me? Dc2 I bfed in a military museum at about 2 months, with neither me, nor anyone else batting an eyelid.
Yes definitely more confident. I suppose stuff was still hard - dd was tiny and lost a lot of weight in first days but I had confidence I could feed her back up to weight when they wanted to readmit. With baby number 1 I would have been scared and done as I was told. Also public feeding - no embarrassment at all
DC1 had (I think) undiagnosed tongue tie so we had all sorts of unnecessary issues ... Nothing like that with DC2. However, it still took a good couple of weeks for us to properly get the hang of it. It was uncomfortable for a shorter period though.
My DSis has had three and found it easier each time.
DD2 was a 1000 times easier.
She knew what to do and liked BFing.
DD1 hated it and hadn't a clue.
First time I held DD2 to the breast I breathed a huge sigh of relief. She tried to feed.
Second time I held to the breast she just fed.
Yes I still got sore bleeding nipples and a bout of mastitis, but these were small annoyances compared to ending up mix feeding her sister.
I still found it tricky second time round. Got some help and it quickly was ok.
DC1 I found BFing really painful for the first few weeks - cracked bleeding and sore nipples and frequent mastitis. We got there in the end though.
DC2 has been easy peasy - no pain at all, it was a revelation! And no mastitis yet either, although he is only 3 months old so there is still time
Easier second time round here. Partly because I knew what to do, partly because the baby seemed to know what to do. Not a single cracked nipple or issue!
I realise how lucky I am though, and I suspect it could have gone the other way at the drop of a hat! I do think it helped not just knowing what to do
But also what to expect....the marathon sessions of just sitting feeding, the thirst, the bf hunger, the positions etc etc....
Congratulations on your pg!
I would imagine it's an individual to each child sort of thing. My first baby was a brilliant bf'er. Took to it immediately and I sailed through 6 months of exclusive bf'ing. Smugly assumed I'd be bf'ing my second in the same easy way but no, he was just not interested at all. We struggled on but at 4 weeks he had to be switched to a bottle and formula (once the frozen bm ran out). We did resume bf'ing and limped on til 1 year old but he was never a great feeder and it didn't feel like the same bonding experience that it was with my first. If I had a third child I would intend to bf but I would not assume it would be the same experience. You can but try and hope it goes well.
Thank you everyone, this is really helpful. This is good to know, I will be patient and assume it could go either way when the time comes! I certainly agree with the confidence in knowing what to do, where to get help, and most importantly the panic being somewhat removed the second time around if it takes a while to get to grips with it!
DS1 was hard - TT, cracked nipple, was touch and go week 2 as was in so so much pain. Literally couldn't sit through the feeds in so much pain much longer. I had lots of milk tho and he was efficient from day 1, didn't lose any weight, it was me that was in trouble... Got help with positioning on that side, expressed for a week, all fine after that.
DS2 initially great, had hours skin to skin after emcs2 , latched beautifully breast crawl style, slight pain although totally paranoid after last time and biological nurturing style helped on dodgy side, but he kept falling asleep just wanted to feed doze feed doze feed doze bit confusing stressful... basically different baby but knew I just had to feed feed feed at every squeak, had lots milk had to go back to same boob to 'empty' it cos he'd fall asleep halfway through.
That was the main difference I guess. Had ultimate faith in the process.
Mine were about as different as they get. DS was a strapping 9lber strong feeder but v pukey and a terrible sleeper who was often v upset at bedtime. I now know he was dairy intolerant and reacting to traces from my diet. Anyway I always intended to feed til he was 2 and managed it through gritted teeth after finding I was pregnant with DD. Oh my it hurt. After 2 I intended to get my body back for the final three months til she was born. Only she arrived two days after DS's birthday at 27 weeks and three days weighing in at 1lb 15 oz at her lowest. I hand expressed 11 times a day for 30 mins a time for 9 weeks til she wss strong enough to feed and wept when my tiny little 3lber latched and slowly fed like a pro on her first go. Within 10 days we were home and within a month could ditch prem formula top ups. But it was so so different she had a tongue tie and dairy intolerance so bad shed go limp and her lips would go blue as she struggled to feed. Then she was readmitted with a rash that took all the skin off her face and head which turned out to be a near fatal zinc deficiency because breast milk didnt have the amount she needed as a prem. Now shes 17 months and still not the feeder DS was but shes calmer and easier and its such a blessing to have her here and feed her.
I had massive problems with DD1, months of pain, recurrent mastitis, weight gain worries. My nipples are very large and DD was v small, so we had lots of problems with her latch early on. Managed somehow to get through it (mainly through DH's tireless support, and ended up feeding her almost 2 years.)
When DD2 came along, I had a lot of similar problems - difficulty with latch, slow weight gain to start with, cracked nipples, mastitis BUT it was still easier because I had a lot more confidence in myself, I had managed to get through it with DD1 so I should be able to with DD2, and I knew it would eventually get easier. (Which it did, and I am still feeding her 18 months in.) I was often in floods of tears with DD1, but with DD2 I was a lot calmer.
DD2 was much easier than DD1. I know every baby is different but I think having gone through the process once, second time round is normally easier. I had more confidence in what I was doing and I had the confidence to ignore the midwives who had absolutely insisted that DD1 was not feeding properly as she was not latched on for 20 minutes (it seems to be some sort of "magic" number) which threw me into a panic and led to much over feeding of poor DD1 (I discovered that you can overfeed a breast fed baby!) and projectile vomitting! With DD2 everytime I was asked "has she fed for 20 mins" I fudged the answer. She was an absolute guzzler and all done in 5 mins or less every feed! You'll be able to trust your instincts with baby number two and really enjoy breasfeeding from day one!
Dc2 has been slightly easier in that I knew what help I could access, an used it as soon as there were issues. Both my Children have tongue ties that required revision, but were missed by the professionals apart from one, wonderful woman. I knew what to look for with dc2, and self referred. So, whilst I was still shredded, and it was still agony, the revision was performed more quickly, my milk supply is still there, and dd is ebf as a result at 4 weeks tomorrow.
Definitely easier second time round. Partly due to circumstance (dd1 v.difficult birth, very sleepy baby from morphine during labour, so feeding really hard to establish). Dd2 fed well from the start but I had far less nipple pain, fewer problems with engorgement and supply and no mastitis second time round. As others hae said I was also much more confident about feeding which made it all much easier.
Easier in some ways but still managed to miss ds had a lip tie.
The one problem I had was thinking I've done this before, not quite I know it all but the problems caused by the lip tie meant I just tried to power through iykwim.
I think it depends on the baby but it was much easier for me - DD1 took 1 hour to have a full feed at first but DD2 only took 20 mins from the off and less than 5 mins now!
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