Would appreciate some advice on breast fed 14 month old

[ILikeyLikey]

DD2 is 14months and still BF. I really need some advice on a couple of issues relating to feeding. I planned to stop bf at 12 months but have continued as she didn't seem ready to stop, we co-sleep and in the last few weeks has been feeding during the night.

As an example, last night I feed her at about 12.30am, 3ish, 4.30am and the 7. Previously, she would probably go from maybe midnight to about 6am without feeding. I'm finding it pretty exhausting as I have DD1 who is at school, so we have to be up and out in the morning. I'm not sure if she's nursing as it soothes her back to sleep or she is actually hungry.

I'm also finding that she doesn't really eat very much during the day and I put this down to the fact she is nursing so frequently at night. I had lunch recently with a friend with a DC a couple of months older and she ate so much more than DD2, so I do think I'm in a bit of a catch 22 situation. I've tried to give her water at night, but she wants to nurse, I have to add she does go back to sleep straight away when she feeds at night but I know from a nutritional point of view she shouldn't really be feeding like a newborn at night at 14 months.

Can anyone offer any advice about the night feeding and possibly moving towards finishing breastfeeding over the next couple of months.

TIA.

[NomNomDePlumPudding]

dd2 is 13 months and still bf, and was feeding in roughly the pattern you describe at night until about 6 weeks ago when we moved her into a cot and out of our room, and she is now sleeping 7.30-7.30. she isn't being woken up and feeding back to sleep, i think it's as simple as that.

[NomNomDePlumPudding]

can't advise on the stopping bf, sadly - i am also keen to stop, but dd is really not.

[PoppyWearer]

My DC2 was doing something similar at that age, I put it down to teething and maybe a bug, he was coming down with something. Or a growth spurt.

He is now 16mo and we stopped bf'ing a month or so ago for medical reasons. He does still wake at night and demands milk - formula. Glugs back a load of it. Probably sleeps a bit better overall than he did, and if I went cold turkey on the formula he would probably be even better. We have even had a couple of nights without co-sleeping and he has managed.

I guess it depends how much you are prepared to be tough. At the moment I'm not ready for the next step, as I feel bad enough about stopping bf. we had to do that cold turkey and I found it tough, phasing it out would be better. But you need full support from your OH as they will need to comfort DC2 whilst you stay away to avoid the temptation to bf!

[NoodieRoodie]

Interesting as DS is the same age.

From 14 weeks he was in his own room from about 8pm, then 2am waking and was in with us. Feed, all fall asleep and wake up in the morning,

2am has gradually but very slowly stretched over time.

Now we're pretty much managing 8pm to 6am (with the odd 4am thrown in)

Over Christmas I've stopped feeding during the day, so now only do early morning and bedtime. I did this over Christmas while DH was home so I had added distraction and it hasn't been as hard as I thought it was going to be.

DS embraced food from the minute it was offered but still would like a feed or 95 million or 2 a day but he seems to have adjusted

[PoppyWearer]

BTW, when we went cold turkey with the bf at 15mo, it only took 2-3 days before DC2 got the idea. I think I miss it more than he does.

But again, you really need support to do it. I had DH off work because I had some health issues, so he could afford to lose sleep at nights. But ordinarily he can't do that.

From experience with DC1, every habit only takes about 2-3 days to break. But you need to be 100% committed to breaking it.

[ILikeyLikey]

Thanks NomNom, 7.30 to 7.30 sounds blissful. Can I ask, were you also co-sleeping with DD2 and how was the move to the cot and her own room? DD2 was fine in her moses basket but wouldn't go in her cot so I co-sleep, I probably should have persevered but was desperate for the sleep at the time, probably turned out to be false economy in the long run.

[NoodieRoodie]

ILikeyLikey no such thing as false ecomony when it comes to sleep, you do what you have to to stay sane enough!!

[ILikeyLikey]

Thanks Noodie and Poppy, it's good to hear that this feeding pattern isn't unusual. I have said to OH, he would probably need to take over for a couple of nights and I go and sleep in the spare room or go on holiday on my own for a week I think we both realise we need to go through the pain barrier with this, getting her to sleep on her own and cutting out the night feeds (hopefully) and having some unbroken sleep (eventually)....

[BettyStogs]

We night weaned DS when he was about 13 months, up till then he had been feeding 2 or 3 times in the night and I was bf back to sleep. DH started going in when he woke up instead of me, and offered water, and cuddled him back to sleep. Took about 3 nights before he started sleeping through.

Then we went away for a weekend which unsettled him, followed by a bout of teething and we were back where we started with feeding at night and co- sleeping. DS now 16 months and we have night weaned him again this week, again took a couple of nights. So I would say, yes your DP would probably need to take over for a few nights but hopefully won't take too long, as like you say there's no real need for milk at night. And even if it doesn't work you'll get a couple of decent nights sleep if DP doing all the night waking.

Have definitely noticed an increase in DS's food intake when he's not feeding at night.

[NomNomDePlumPudding]

ilikey - yes, we were co-sleeping but she was napping in her cot, and then we started putting her to bed around 7ish in her cot and she'd wake when we went to bed and then would not stay in the cot. the move into her own room went fine, much easier than expected, she cried twice for about fifteen minutes each time the first night, but it was not hysterical crying, and she settled herself; the second night she cried for about two minutes at some point and that was it. i was doing a dream feed, but only for a couple of weeks, to step her down, as it were. i made sure the room was quite dark, i think that helped, but mainly i think there was nothing to wake her because no-one was tossing and turning in her vicinity.
i do look back and think there were at least a couple of months of unnecessarily lost sleep in 2012...