Advice for experienced mum but inexperienced at BF(6 Posts)
I've just found out i am pregnant with dc6.
My older dc are in their 20's and I was encouraged to ff. When i had dc3 i decided to ff (sounds awful but bf didn't even enter my mind). DC4 had severe reflux and i was given terrible advice, which meant i ended up ff, after 4 weeks. DC5 had an undiagnosed lip tie. His latch was very poor but HV & G.P were very unhelpful. My supply was poor due to lack of rest. I managed to express for 3 months. As this is my last pregnancy, i would really like to be more successful at bf.
I am worried about how i will manage everything. Dp works rotating shifts so will end up on my own 50% of the time, (in the evenings). Dc4 has SN & i have to deal with him at bed time, he wont let anyone else do his v. long bedtime routine.
How do mothers manage to meet all their dc needs? My oldest 2 don't live at home anymore so only 3 dc to see to! The evenings are mad enough at the moment, I'm worried how i will do everything!
first of all congrats, nice to know other people are happy to have 6 kids as well!
we have 5 boys (oldest is 11, youngest almost 3) and baby girl 9 months old soon. they were all breast fed for various amounts of time, DD is still on the boob last thing at night, 1st morning feed and sometimes in the afternoon.
she had tongue-tie and problems with both bf and ff, and took 6 weeks to get back to birth weight. I had to spend a lot of time pinned to the sofa so I bravely asked people to help with the school runs, but despite all the help she had to give her formula from about 4 weeks old.
she's ok now, healthy weight (just started to crawl, so cute!)
DS3 and DS5 had tongue-tie as well - it does run in the family, so have this checked and rechecked if there are problems with bf!!!
it is daunting to think how you'll manage just bf (or indeed anything ), so maybe mixed feeding from day one is the answer!
my 4th was jaundiced at 5 days, and I had to give him ff in hospital as he was too sleepy to breastfeed.
2 weeks later I had mastitis, then another a few weeks after, plus he was a C-section and I had 4 kids under five, school and playgroup runs 3 times a day, so I had to mix feed or I don't know how I would have survived!
I think you will need people to help you with things, so do ask for what you need and accept offers!
if you can afford it try and get some regular help - we have a cleaner who comes on Mondays for 2 hrs, best thing to spend £20 on!!!!
it's also worth to literally write down your daily/weekly routines, to see what's a must and can't be left out (like your DS's special bed time or homework) and delegate what you don't personally have to do or plain forget about everything that's not vital/important for the first 3 or 6 months.
I think my expectations are pretty minimal for now. I don't enjoy survival-mode, but it is what it is and I don't care what anyone thinks about my untidy house or if I forget things or cancel stuff or if I give the children cereal for dinner!(which they love...)
if your floor is not clean enough to eat from that's ok, that's what plates are for!! whoever eats from the floor anyway, stupidest thing to brag about, ever!
BTW I don't think I manage all their needs very well. Just today I had a major meltdown (screaming, crying, blaming everyone - just awful...), but they were giving me big hugs and kisses and told me I'm the best mum in the world, so at least they know I love them loads, despite whatever shit is going on! I guess that's all that really matters....
Practically, my advice would be that your baby needs to take more than the nipple into their mouth to bf without making you sore. (Who knew....I didn't with ds1, now on ds2 and no cracked nipples or soreness at all )
Wrt your specific situation can you do your older DCs bedtime with baby in a sling? If you master them, baby can bf in it?
Congratulations! I am on my 5th boy and bfing is going much better. He is 5 months now & still exclusively bfing. This is the longest I have managed to go with any of mine. First had reflux & I found it easier to ff to monitor how much he was getting, 2&3 are twins & feeding was a mare. 4 was a happy, easy baby but I went back to work too early & didn't feed well after that. Now i just sit on the coach or stay in bed & feed. He has a dummy for times i need him to hold on a but longer like school runs & I express alot better, sometimes in between feeds as well to keep up supply. It can be done. Listen to yourself & ignore all the conflicting advice you will receive. Just keep at it. I have only now learnt that feeding off one side twice in s row drains your bobs better! Good luck
I second using a sling. I can bf dd in it if needed and have a hand free to play with ds (21m) or give him dinner. I batch freeze his meals and do our cooking in a slow cooker so I don't have to worry it. We co-sleep so bedtime has now evolved into ds lying in his cot with me sitting next to him of lying down and bf dd. we used a moby wrap. She sleeps for hours at a time when in the sling and although its harder to get things done, I'd rather that than spend ages trying to resettle her (she doesn't sleep well when put down). Also both mine had reflux and although bf a reflux baby can be hard work, it is possible!!
Thanks. Some good advice!
I think i will probably just try to stop worrying about it&see how it goes. I really felt embarressed after dc5, that i had failed-again. This time i will try to be little bit more relaxed&if it works out, it works
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