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Feeling so frustrated

(12 Posts)
mawbroon Fri 04-Jan-13 14:43:51

That sounds about par for the course from a HV tbh, sounds from your description like it may be a posterior tie and many, many HCPs miss them because they don't know what they are looking for. You can always post photos on the group, but I know how hard it can be to get a decent photo.

Oh, and if there's an upper lip tie, it is most likely that there's a posterior tie too, they tend to go hand in hand. Sure, there will be someone out there who has lip tie and no tongue tie, but it's pretty rare.

DS1 had the full house of upper lip tie, anterior and posterior ties. But we didn't discover his until he was 6, so our story is completely different from somebody with a baby who is tied.

BatCave Fri 04-Jan-13 14:32:58

So I cried down the phone at my hv who has been out to see me. She says he has no tongue tie, my problems are probably positional but he could have a lactose intolerance?! I don't know what to do now. She will get the centres breastfeeding counsellor to come and 'troubleshoot' the positioning, but that will be next week as she's on holiday. But I don't really feel any resolution. I swear I would have given up breastfeeding by now if I wasn't so stubborn.

BatCave Fri 04-Jan-13 11:30:27

I am beginning to discover that. I'm on the group, and have tried a different way of checking his tongue and I'm almost certain there is a tie there when I press down either side. I also think he has an ULT.

Thank you so much for your input, I feel positive I can find a solution.

And thank you, that's really kind jellyrolly I'm feeling like a pretty shit mum at the moment though.

mawbroon Fri 04-Jan-13 09:01:02

I'm afraid that when it comes to tongue tie care, you have to be pushy. There are too many health care professionals out there who don't know enough about it.

jellyrolly Thu 03-Jan-13 22:47:31

I used to try one feed a day in the bath which helped. Good luck and I hope you stop being so hard on yourself you sound like a great mum x

BatCave Thu 03-Jan-13 22:39:34

Thank you for your help, I'm going to try and see if anyone locally will be able to help I think, if not I may well give that service a try. I'm not very good at initiating help, i'm too accepting.

mawbroon Thu 03-Jan-13 20:35:32

It depends on who you see. If you see somebody who understands the consequences of untreated ties, then the probs you are having will indeed be enough.

Can you get to London? There is a dentist there who was trained by dr Kotlow and uses laser.

Milk Matters have a virtual service btw where they can help you identify if there is a tie or not.

BatCave Thu 03-Jan-13 19:42:40

I'm in the south west. I understand what you mean.

I've googled it and had a look on milk matters and that makes sense.

Even if he does have a tongue tie I'm not sure anyone will want to do anything about it because he's gaining. Is awkwardness and frustration enough?

mawbroon Thu 03-Jan-13 19:12:20

It is something to do with being unable to latch deeply enough to suckle efficiently enough to "empty" the breast fully and getting mostly foremilk if the mother has a plentiful supply, but I don't know the exact details. I put empty in "" because it's never empty, but I can't think just now of another way to put it.

Where are you based btw?

BatCave Thu 03-Jan-13 16:55:22

Thanks i will have a look.

I have even spoken to a LC, but again, because he is gaining well it seems to be an attitude of well there's no problem, just persevere. She didn't even look.

I didn't know that about huge weight gain being a sign of tt, can you explain to me how?

mawbroon Thu 03-Jan-13 16:51:23

If you suspect tongue tie then you need help from people who really understand ties.

Tongue tie babies support group on facebook is a good place to start, it's a closed group but just ask to join.

Btw, huge weight gains can also be a sign of tt.

BatCave Thu 03-Jan-13 16:12:19

My son is 13 weeks and has been exclusively breastfed from birth. At the beginning I had a lot of pain, bruised and bleeding nipples. I went to a mother and baby unit for help with extreme engorgement and battled through.

The pain is now gone but I can't get him to latch properly still. I suspect he has a tongue tie but I'm not sure. He just sucks in air all the time and usually cannot maintain a latch. (I say usually - he sometimes can, generally when he's calm and sleepy). I have spoken to various professionals but no one is really very interested because I don't have pain and because he's gaining weight spectacularly.

And as he's getting bigger I'm finding it increasingly hard to find positions that are comfortable - we just feel so awkward all the time. I do have a fast letdown, but I don't really think this is too much of an issue really, we nurse in a bit of a modified biological nurturing position. BN helped with the fast letdown, helped him control it. He is a very big boy, around 16lb.

But I'm getting so stressed out with feeding. It's not enjoyable for me at the moment. I'm getting so frustrated with it and ending up in tears. Nursing out of the house is terrifying for me, not because I find public feeding difficult - I truly don't, but because I can't get comfy, he won't latch and I end up getting in a state.

Do you think there could be some help? I m not good at asking for it, but something's gotta give. I shouted at my 2.5 year old while I was trying to feed earlier and we both ended up in tears. Or should I just suck it up and get on with it? I fed my daughter till she was nearly 2 and want to do the same again. I just want to enjoy feeding him sad

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