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Anyone else ebf dc2 and worry about it going wrong because of previous bad experience ?

(9 Posts)
sedgieloo Fri 28-Dec-12 19:27:10

I just can't seem to relax and dc2 is I'm sure ok. But with dc1 I had an awful time of it. She had feeding problems and so weight problems and so supply problems. And I can't seem to stop fretting and doubting my ability to continue to successfully ebf. Dc2 is now 9 wks and gaining well at last weigh on the 17th. I must think about this a hundred times a day sad checking how wet every nappy is and looking to judge if he is still chubby looking and critiquing every feed, wondering if he fed well/if I have enough to feed him etc. will this go away?

weasle Fri 28-Dec-12 19:36:30

I had a disaster bf ds1 and only managed a few weeks, poor wt gain etc. Ds2 bf until almost 3 yrs. It seems quite common IMO. The first baby I ever saw being bf was me trying with DS1. With ds2 I was further along the learning curve!

You do sound quite anxious, is it just with feeding that you feel like this? It sounds like it is going very well, so be reassured it certainly is possible to do better at bf with dc2 and it's a fantastic, healthy, normal thing to be doing. Well done.

weasle Fri 28-Dec-12 19:38:36

On second reading... Perhaps you should discuss with GP or HV as you might need some help with your feelings.

VisualiseAHorse Fri 28-Dec-12 20:25:31

You are doing so well!

I know that you're anxious about his food, and if it's really starting to take over your daily thinking, you should have a word with your HV or GP.

sedgieloo Fri 28-Dec-12 20:34:47

Thanks weasel. I don't have any real reason to be concerned. But I feel haunted by what happened before. It's also fairly recent. There is exactly two yrs between them. So exactly two years ago we had just come out of hospital with dd and having weighs every other day and desperately trying to get her weight up.

it is as if the anxiety of that worrying time is flooding back. For certain I am more worried than I should be. His chart looks fine.

I will talk to hv, although I mentioned to him a few times about this and he has been very good in trying to reassure me baby is fine.

sedgieloo Fri 28-Dec-12 20:39:21

I lost my supply and I was devastated. Bf meant so much to me.

It's not dominating my day but I keep doubting my supply especially. I never leak, spray, need to wear pads etc. I can't pump much either.

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Sat 29-Dec-12 00:04:51

I had a tough start with my DD & now I have my DS, I can't help compare. I feel a bit angry about the situation we were put in, the lack of advice etc and find myself wishing I could do it again but with the knowledge I have now iyswim. However, it doesn't seem from your post that you feel the same way - you are more anxious rather than frustrated with the circumstances from first time.

Do you know if there are any BF groups nearby? Perhaps if you could get some RL support/practical advice on maintaining your (clearly good) supply, you could deal with the misplaced anxiety & issues from your first child?

As for leaking etc, as someone who can't go from 2hrs without leaking, be grateful!!! I don't squirt/spray either though, just dribble profusely.

Nancy54 Sun 30-Dec-12 20:23:59

I had a very bad start breast feeding my twins and also wish I could start again with the knowledge I now have. I spent the first few weeks constantly fretting that they weren't getting enough.

Anyway they're now 13 Weeks and I'm still breast feeding them. I never ever leak or spray or need breast pads and I can't pump much either but they're thriving so they must be getting enough. I still have a bit of "supply paranoia" but I don't think not leaking etc is necessarily indicative of lack of milk. I really know how you feel, it's so awful to be worrying and doubting all the time but as your baby continues to gain well every week you should start to feel better,

sedgieloo Mon 31-Dec-12 07:52:13

Nancy, thanks so much. That's why it is supply paranoia. I was on domperidone and pumping in between feeds and the middle of the night fenugreek, the lot. It is as if I can't believe my body will not let me down again. Even though in my heart of hearts I know she was a terrible feeder and I was pretty well doomed. Especially now I see how he feeds and I have something to compare it to.

Thanks for posting I feel a bit reassured by your message.

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