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A way back, or let go?

(10 Posts)
smk84 Sun 16-Dec-12 23:03:37

Hi. Ds is 27 weeks and was ebf until 18 weeks when we introduced one bottle of formula a day due to slow weight gain. It went pear shaped from there on in, and we have ended up mixed feeding, and he only takes short feeds from me now, and has 3 or 4 bottle feeds a day, one of which is ebm. The routine now is not really sustainable.... Bf, bottle, express, try to feed to sleep which sometimes works and sometimes not, and now we are mainly blw I can't seem to fit everything in. I spoke to a lovely lll lady tonight who reommended I drop the expressing and see what happens to my supply. I am expressing around 3 times a day and get about 4 oz in total. He is always keen to latch, but gets frustrated when the fast flow slows down. In the long term I would love to be feeding him say3 times a day with solids in between, but am wondering it it,s just time to call it a day as he seems to be less willing to persist with bf, and more fussy about feeding to sleep.
So I guess my questions are... Hs anyone gone back to bf after something like this? Do you have any advice on how to move forward? Thank you.

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 18-Dec-12 12:39:45

smk, just bumping for you smile

smk84 Wed 19-Dec-12 09:07:35

Thanks jjj, wondering if everyone is too busy to be on mn at this time of year!

tiktok Wed 19-Dec-12 09:15:41

smk, I think the reason for so few replies is that no one can answer this! You have to decide for yourself, having got what sounds like a reasonable suggestion from LLL, and bearing in mind all the experience and feelings you have which are personal to you.

What you are doing now is not really sustainable, I agree. If you drop the expressing, you do risk a further step down in your supply, but the upside of dropping the expressing would be extra time to do something else you and/or your baby want to do and removal of stress and chasing a goal.

It does sometimes happen that mothers return to bf after a long period of mixed feeding, but my experience as a bfc is that when a baby is on solids, and not very willing to have frequent feeds at the breast, it doesn't happen.

You have worked so hard and so dedicatedly, and determinedly - there is no need to feel you 'ought' to continue if on balance you feel life would be better all round if you gradually stopped.

Hope this helps.

Spindelina Wed 19-Dec-12 09:25:46

I suspect you are me in six weeks' time! So I am really interested in this thread. The few RL people I know who mix fed to 6 months because of poor weight gain switched to just formula at 6 months. I was hoping I might be able to wean DD off the formula as and when she starts getting solids in - I would live to be BF at 12 months, and I would not be sorry to lose the daily running of the steriliser! But we'll see.

That's no help to you at all, though!

smk84 Wed 19-Dec-12 22:56:00

Hi tiktok, thank you for your post. You make a very good point about finding time to do something we both enjoy... Life has been full for a long time of feeding related issues and I do often feel like I am trying to get somewhere and not making it! Have sort of made a plan to be in a sustainable routine by the new year, perhaps by expressing once in the morning when I get the most.
Spindelina, it is a help to me to know there is someone in a similar boat. Hopefully we can both make it to where we want to be, and if not be very satisfied that we have done our very best.
Would be great to hear from anyone who has gone back to bf after mixed feeding.

ceeveebee Wed 19-Dec-12 23:11:01

Well done on getting this far. I'm surprised you have time to breathe never mind anything else - so you are bf, expressing, ff, and now presumably starting weaning (as in solids) too.

If you want to carry on bf, could you not feed directly rather than expressing?

I mix fed my twins and once they started on solids, to be honest I dropped all bf except the morning feed. I expressed once each evening and used that for their porridge. They had 2 x ff a day as well as (eventually) 3 meals and I kept this going until they were 11 mo by which time I was going back to work and decided to stop the morning feed as well. Now at 13 mo they have 2 x whole milk drinks and the rest is just solids and water.

BabylonElf Wed 19-Dec-12 23:19:50

Ds is 34 weeks and I'm still feeding him whenever he likes as well as 3 meals a day.

He rarely has formula and I've stopped expressing now.

We have a routine of sorts:

8 am breakfast of porridge
10 am bf to sleep
12.30 pm lunch of mashed veg, beef or chicken and a fromage frais
3pm bf to sleep
5.30 pm dinner of pasta and tuna/salmon and either bananas and custard or jelly
7pm bf
10pm bf
2am bf
5am bf

HV thinks the 2am and 5am bf are just habit for him now and is suggesting putting him in his own room and sending DH to him when he wakes, but I'm not ready to do that yet, and I still enjoy feeding him though he cut his first tooth today so that may change !!

Welovecouscous Thu 20-Dec-12 22:20:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smk84 Sat 22-Dec-12 14:19:45

Thank you for the replies.
Ceeveebee I would much prefer to direct feed but recently he will only stay on for the initial bit of fast flow, and for the last couple of days he has not been latching on correctly.... He still gets milk out but it feels like he is doing something strange , and he definitely isn't opening very wide. Also sometimes he will latch on one side, take a couple of minutes worth then not latch on the other side. So I have felt I need to keep up the expressing as he is spending so little time at the breast. I am still hoping that if I keep some milk there that one day he will want to go back to bf, although I can't imagine that bf when I go back to work in April will be sustainable.
Babylon thanks for your post. grin at the teeth, ESP as ds bit me last week and have only just recovered !
Couscous, thank you, after your suggestion I have tried formula in the cup, he took about and ounce so thought that was pretty good, but not sure he would get enough if he had all milk in a cup unless we sat him in the high chair all day! I am thinking that maybe we could try replacing one bottle a day with the cup and see how we get on. If only he was happier to bf..... Understandable though. Great idea about skin to skin I had gone past thinking of that!

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