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8 day old baby - latch not right - feeling desperate

(18 Posts)
ellangirl Wed 19-Dec-12 15:07:13

Just wanted to say good for you! Btw, in my experience ( big boobed also) feeding pillows are not always your friend. It's about making sure baby is at same level ad your nipple, and if you have big boobs that might be lower than you think. Still takes me some getting used to that I can never feed like others with baby neatly in crook of my arm. Instead her head is on my forearm or wrist, and I still start every feed in cross cradle hold then transfer arms after.

shinyblackgrape Wed 19-Dec-12 13:32:07

Just wanted to update - I've been able to express really well so DS as been having expressed milk in a bottle for the last 10 days or so and is thriving. We had to give up on the feeding cup as it was making him very distressed.

He also had a tongue tie op on Monday which has improved his latch no end. We are now trying to introduce breast feeding and phase out the bottle or do a mix of both. I'm trying not to,stress about it and focus on the fact that he is having breast milk

Thank you for all of your posts - they really really helped me when I felt very desperate.

bee - thank you for the posts. Have the details of the breastfeeding support groups and we'll start going next week hopefully

BeehavingBaby Sun 09-Dec-12 08:38:50

Sorry, that sounds a bit stalker ish, just remember your wythenshawe threads and thought they might be local smile

BeehavingBaby Sun 09-Dec-12 08:32:09

Sounds like you're doing anazingly well. There are loads of breast feeding support groups in trafford and one in moss side sure start centre on a Thursday morning that is well worth travelling to. Good luck x

shinyblackgrape Sat 08-Dec-12 10:55:41

Thank you! Had a not too bad night. Latch still not. Great and on and off etc. on the plus side, the expressing is going brilliantly. I'm doing about 360mls a day. We're feeding him with a feeding cup.

I'm so tempted to give DS a bottle (of EBM) rather than proceeding with the breastfeeding but will persevere. Interestingly, he likes to be "fed" to sleep he's off and on so I know he's not really getting anything. However, he seemsm to like the comfort after the cup feed so I'm not going to stop that.

SantasLittleElfycat Fri 07-Dec-12 22:44:29

Those pesky tongue ties! Hopefully that can be sorted out quickly.

Obviously keep a look out for PND and get to the GP if you have worries about it. But don't underestimate the effect of sleep deprivation on energy levels and emotions. I didn't get PND but rather had post natal irritation (it's probably a spectrum thing again) and would get really angry at everything. Had to give up watching/reading the news as things that would have made me sad made me angry. I was never angry at DD mind you, but poor DH.

Now I'm getting regular sleep - ahhhhh, much better. So do try to rest when you can.

glendathegoodwitch Fri 07-Dec-12 20:09:40

Awwwww hugs shiny - considering its the most natural thing in the world it's bloody tiring and a lot like rocket science!!!

I have a 4 wk old dd and have daily struggles with bf

mummysmellsofsick Fri 07-Dec-12 18:53:08

Glad things a bit better. I really don't think you should worry about PND at this stage. Everyone I know was an emotional wreck for the first month after the birth. For me it lasted a bit longer but wasn't PND, just a lot to adjust to and sleep deprivation doesn't help. Really hope you get the tongue tie sorted ASAP! Sounds like you're doing great

shinyblackgrape Fri 07-Dec-12 18:07:43

Thank you everyone for your messages. It means a lot. I was in floods if tears reading them - but in a good way this time!

Today has been better. We took DS to a cranial osteopath. We were really lucky to get an appointment tent with a very good one. We were both quite sceptical but it seems to have had a big effect on DS. He said that his neck wasn't quite aligned and he did have a problem looming over his left shoulder which has now been fixed.

Them back to the breast feeding counsellor. She thinks DS has tongue tie so we need to get a GP referral for that. The re epitomise had been typically unhelpful and won't let us have an appointment until he is registered so we will do that ASAP on Monday

At the counsellor, DS latched on not too badly and I managed to get him on ok. She saw us earlier this week and says she can see an improvement. The tongue tie should help too. I'm determined to get this referral ASAP and have already spoken to the clinic. They could see us early next week so it needs to get sorted v

We tanked DS up on expressed before we went out and managed to have lunch too. So all in all I feel much brighter. I was terrified of PND but the upset is all related to the feeding and I feel much better today thinking it could be sorted do hope it's just situational rather than PND

Thank you all so much for your support. I have been trying the flipple and it is helping a lot.

mummysmellsofsick Thu 06-Dec-12 20:48:20

Like tiktok said it's solvable once you get enough support, and like someone else said you're supposed to be an emotional mess at this stage. Hormones are all over the place and you've had a shock too. Phone the helplines or pester the nearest bf clinic until you work it out. This stage is so hard anyway. Let us know how it goes best of luck

boobybum Thu 06-Dec-12 20:25:50

Hello - don't beat yourself up for it not all coming naturally. It can be tricky at first but it can be done. Have you looked on YouTube? It really helps to be able to see how to do it rather than read how to do. Also if the breastfeeding lady will come back to visit you can you get someone to film it so that you can remind yourself? Try to have baby's nose lined up with your nipple and sort of lift the top part of your boob (the bit above the nipple) and use the underside of your nipple to tickle baby's nose/top lip. When he opens his mouth, shove your boob in so that your nipple is touching the roof of his mouth and when he clamps on then let go of your boob! That probably makes no sense-would be much better to be able to show you! Also you may want to try breast compressions when he is feeding (basically squeeze your boob with one hand (above and below rather than at the sides)) which should make milk come out faster. Best of luck!

elfycat Thu 06-Dec-12 20:06:25

Are you seeing your midwife again soon, or does our local service include a breastfeeding coffee morning?

I went to the Friday morning feeding sessions for a few weeks after having DD1. She was 5 days into prem and had to have top-ups to keep her sugars stable for 2-3 days and I also expressed colostrum and breastfed her. It was exhausting and painful so I know it wasn't easy for you to do. You should be proud of that achievement.

Have you tried having a skin to skin day? Snuggle in bed with DS, him in just a nappy and you topless. You'll keep him warm. Get DH to bring you drinks and snacks (I craved chocolate for the first time while bf and other people have said the same so if you're a fan have some).

If DS falls asleep and you can transfer him to a crib/basket/cot then lie back and have a snooze (I co-slept but it's not for everyone). Let DS root around, snuffle and generally explore the area around your breasts the slobbery licking is a bit weird but cute as long as it's just your immediate family in the room it all stimulates you make milk.

Even having successfully bf DD1 I fretted for two or more weeks about DD2 and was I doing it right. Get more advice/support and also believe in yourself. I believe you are being a fantastic mum who has already given DS the best start.

orchidee Thu 06-Dec-12 20:00:53

It sounds fixable. I also had a difficult start post-forceps and remember feeling the same. The nipple flick technique and time/practice helped us. Still bf at 19m! I didn't think we'd get to 19d

Dragonboobs Thu 06-Dec-12 19:52:29

Oh no poor you - Please don't beat yourself up we all go through moments like this.

I'm no BF expert but have EBF my now 6mo with big boobs and flat nipples so hope I may be able to help in some way - or at least explain what I did.

I too struggled at first to get him latched on as it seemed like he had nothing to latch on to. It was my mum who came over - man handled me! - and got me sorted. I used a BF pillow as after c-section found it hard to hold him in place, but it also meant that I had both hands free. My DM said that I needed to manipulate his head more so for eg if I was feeding from the right I could hold the breast with my right hand so I was pushing my nipple forwards and then use my left hand to manipulate his neck/head. I hope this is making sense! It made all the difference as I could sort of hold him, in place and hold my breast out too - I also struggled to see what was happening!

It still took a while to get sorted but we got there eventually. My DS would also, after a couple of weeks, push my breast with his hand and tug/pull away. I spoke to a BF counsellor who said he was trying to elongate my nipples! Which he certainly has done as they now look completely different!

I'm sure someone else will come along with more help and I really hope you start to feel brighter soon.

nellyjelly Thu 06-Dec-12 19:50:29

Aw I feel for you. It can be soooo hard. Try phoning NCT helpline for advice too or some of the others.

0300 330 0771 is nct and open til 10. May help even to talk about it. Keep baby near you to encorage feeding. Ensure you eat and drink well as you need your strength!

Sometimes swaddling helps when you are putting them to the breast. Stops the wriggling.

It does get better honest!

Shybairns Thu 06-Dec-12 19:43:11

<<hugs>> I feel for you I really do. This is a steep learning curve for you and your son.
Keep pestering your health visitor and go to the breast feeding clinics. Face to face help is what you really need. I found my local La Leche league very helpfull.
Are you holding his head so it tilts back and are you ssqueezing your boob to make it an easier surface for him to get in his mouth? You kind of have to push his mouth open with your boob.
Its hard to give practical tips you really need to be shown.

My second DC didn't open her tiny mouth very wide and I had a very painful first 8-9weeks with her.

With both of my DCs I cried buckets. Hormones mixed with wanting to be supermum. Cut your self a lot of slack. Stop worrying about your DH, you just gave birth and you are trying to do something completely new to you. Mothering doesn't come naturally, it takes alot of work, patience and perserverence.

You will get there and this will all be forgotten.

tiktok Thu 06-Dec-12 19:41:31

shiny, I am sad for you sad

This is the sort of thing that is fixable, believe me.

Contact the bfc again.

Get her to see you again.

shinyblackgrape Thu 06-Dec-12 19:18:07

Myth having terrible problems feeding my gorgeous 8 day old DS

He was born full term but shocked after a forceps delivery. So, had low glucose levels and was put in SCBU. whilst in there, he was fed 60mls of formula every 3 hours shock. I was desperate to establish breast feeding which they knew so expressed syringes of colostrum but it was all very hard as he was so full of formula. Eventually, I did get him back on the ward and for the two days before discharge had some success in feeding but only with a lot of midwife help

Basically, I have pretty large breasts with flat nipples. I can express do we have been topping DS up with EBM. However, the breast feeding is going really badly as I just cannot get him to latch on properly. I know my nipple needs to hit the top of his mouth but he keeps shutting his mouth before I can get there. Plus with flat nipples, its really hard to get them in, even holding them. DS then sucks a little and then flops off (probably 10 - 12 sucks)

We did go and see a breast feeding counsellor yesterday and she got him latched on very quickly but I just can't replicate it.

Poor DH is having to put up with floods of tears as I feel so guilty and sad.

In term of topping him up, we've been giving around 40mls per feed (prob 5 per day) as well as whatever he gets from the crappy breast feeding. I'm not even sure this is enough as he seems to sleep for about 4.5 hrs n feeds sometimes and I don't know if we should be waking him up but I dread feeding him.

I'm currently feeding on a pillow and using cross cradle and also rugby ball. Can't see when I lie down.

DH goes back to work on Thursday and I'm in floods of tears just thinking about it. My mum has been down to stay and just left today but coming back on Tuesday night as I feel I can't be alone.

I feel ive gone from being a strong, capable, professional to a sobbing wreck and I have terrible guilt as I feel I've ruined DS' first days at home for him and for DH. I'm sobbing now as I'm posting this and I'm terrified I'm going to get PND. It's just not how I imagined being a mum would be. I thought I would be elated and instead I feel such terrible guilt and sadness.

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