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I am SICK of the twiddling...

(13 Posts)
ISeeThreadPeople Fri 30-Nov-12 09:50:56

Seriously bloody hacked off with ds trying to tune into Breast FM at every available opportunity.

I'm fairly AP. I have a clingy boy who has been suffering separation anxiety for 9 months now. I carry him, cosleep, bf to demand etc. I mind none of it. But the bastard twiddling makes me want to claw off my own ears to distract ME from it.

Nothing bloody works. He can get into any bra, any item of clothing, his hand is there immediately, clawing to get at my nipple and twiddle it. He does it in his sleep. I remove his hand EVERY SODDING TIME. I try to distract, I remove, I tell him no. I did the same with dd. BFing necklaces, two bras, hand removed immediately.

I am ON THE EDGE.

It's the one bit of bfing I truly despise.

RavenVonChaos Fri 30-Nov-12 09:53:12

Does he need a transitional object?

ISeeThreadPeople Fri 30-Nov-12 10:03:58

Nope, don't get those either. Tried and tried with dd first time round. He is similarly uninterested.

In fact apart from me, he only wants the scissors, the screwdrivers or dh's drill. Nothing interests him.

ChocolateCoins Fri 30-Nov-12 10:09:34

I was thinking about starting this exact same thread. I co sleep and ALL NIGHT LONG I am removing hand from nipple. Drives me absolutely crazy.

I'm sorry I have no advice just wanted to let you I know how you feel.

<helpful>

feekerry Fri 30-Nov-12 10:12:10

Yep get it here too!! Well not so much twiddling more flicking. Sooo annoying. Dd is 8 months. Sympathy x

Taggy blanket? Saved my sanity!

ISeeThreadPeople Fri 30-Nov-12 10:33:37

He doesn't want a taggy blanket or a cuddly or anything aimed at soothing babies. He's quite interested in the kettle atm and would like you all to know that the hoover is HIS. I am NOT taking the hoover to bed with me even if he does love it. I've tried toy hoovers, toy tools, toy kettles etc. Not interested.

It does pass btw. If you listen very carefully in the direction of Norfolk at 3am each day, you can hear the plaintive wail of the bfing mother.

ipswichwitch Fri 30-Nov-12 10:43:31

Sorry op but I had to laugh at Breast FM!
DS was also a twiddler. DH wondered what the hell I was on about every time I'd say something like "hello London" or "Houston we have a problem" (tinged with a bit of hysteria).
He's now 13 months and finally stopped twiddling. However he now punches me in the boob instead and bites down when it starts moving out of his mouth <sigh>

ISeeThreadPeople Fri 30-Nov-12 11:51:33

DS is 14mo. He has been twiddling for months. It's getting worse atm as he's had the winter vomiting bug and is back to ebf.

OMG I have tapping, groping, kicking, fiddling, scratching, hair-twirling, banging own head, poking a finger iny ear etc etc etc but never any nipples twiddling from DS thank the Lord! It all drives me absolutely insane but if there was that as well I think that would be the end for me... Why can't these bloody babies keep still?! My only suggestion would be to remove him every time he does it and if he continues more than a couple of times end the session altogether. Ah tickling as well, I can't flipping stand it. Plus his latch has changed since having DD presumably because the shape of my boob has changed and I end up with deep teeth marks in my areola every time he feeds now.. I've all this to come with DD when she's old enough to fidget too.. Remind me why we do this again wink

ISeeThreadPeople Fri 30-Nov-12 12:11:13

Oh I get the groping, kicking, fiddling, scratching etc. He fish hooks my mouth, fingers up my nose, pulls at my top, kicks at the sofa/me/the cat. I tolerate all of it. I HATE the twiddling. He grabs in a pincer grip and twists.

I do stop him every single time. He does it again immediately. I stop him. He does it again. I put him down. He cries. I pick him up. He does it again. I put him down. He cries. I walk away. He follows. I pick him up. He does it again. He is utterly fixated. ATM he will not go to sleep because every time I lie him down to feed him, he reaches out, I say no and he arches his back and sobs.

NiceOneCenturion Fri 30-Nov-12 15:23:09

I‘ve got a twiddler here too. He‘s 19 months and he has recently developed an attachment to a toy car which I thought might be the answer, but despite howling with despair if he is ever parted from it in the day, you can‘t force the bloody thing on him during a bf, he wouldn‘t care if I stripped it and sold it for parts.

The only thing I‘ve found works is being playful when removing his hand. So, silly voice, making a game of taking his hand away and letting him try and put it back then stopping him. He usually gets giggly and can then be distracted with an object, or he gets the message and stops bothering. I've found it more effective than being firm which just seems to upset him.

Vacuum obsession here too, he has reluctantly started calling it a 'cleeee-narr!' after 6 months of insisting it was a variety of digger. He would watch me vacuum all day if he could. I am not so inclined.

ISeeThreadPeople Fri 30-Nov-12 17:32:00

Oh we have the same child. Our hoover is a 'brum brum' apparently.

You're actually bang on about the silly voice and playful removal, he does respond to that. I'm just at the end of my tether with being playful today (day 5 of norovirus, not eaten since Saturday, freezing school run with a recalcitrant 5yo and blue-lipped 14mo, still vomity and a bit fainty with lack of food).

I have also discovered that if you wrap him in 87 layers, plus snowsuit and feed him on the bus (bit like feeding a rolled up duvet tbh), he can't physically move his arm in order to twiddle.

If anybody wants me, I'll be on the number 11 bus with a flask and a good book.

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