How often does your 14-18mo breastfeed?

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Help settle a 'conversation' between DH and I please! How often 'should' a 15mo be nursing? Or in the absence of a 'should', how often does your toddler nurse? (And how often does s/he eat/sleep?)

Thank you!

[EauRouge]

Depends on the child and the mother! There is no 'should'- if you are happy to continue feeding on cue then that is fine. If you'd rather cut down to just one bedtime feed then that is also fine. Older babies/toddlers can ask to be BF very often; sometimes they are hungry, sometimes thirsty, sometimes tired, bored, scared, just need to touch base with mum etc- there are many other reasons to BF other than nutrition.

There's no evidence to suggest that 'filling up' on breastmilk prevents a child from eating enough solid food if that is a worry. Breastmilk is a fantastic source of vitamins and minerals, especially if you've got a picky eater.

Sleep is another thing entirely too- all are different! There's nothing to say a 14-18mo 'should' be sleeping through the night. Night waking is still normal at this age.

It sounds as though you and your DH are disagreeing about things- how do you feel about how breastfeeding is going?

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Thank you. Yes, we disagree. I like BFing and it makes me very sad to think about stopping, but we're all knackered (DS included I think) so something needs to change. DH thinks that cutting back on feeds would help; I think DS still needs the feeds and actually sleeps better when he's had them (I think it's a connection thing; especially on the days I'm working)

[EauRouge]

Why do you think you are so tired- lack of sleep or lack of nutrients (or both)? It can be tricky finding a balance for the whole family, a bit of trial and error might be in order, but remember that this situation won't be forever.

You make a good point about the reconnection thing on days that you are working. This is so common that it has a name- reverse cycling. What are the sleeping arrangements in your house? A lot of mothers find that co-sleeping gives them the bonding time that they missed during the day. Some mothers like to take a bath with their baby to reconnect, or carry their baby in a sling and go for a walk or something.

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Do you know what? I hadn't even considered the lack of nutrients. My diet is getting pretty rubbish (viscious cycle?) I've also ditched the gym so maybe need to get back to that! I won't mention that I'm sat here with a glass of wine in my hand and a Gu pudding in the oven

DS sleeps in his own cot in his own room, but comes in and joins us at around 5am and co-sleeps until we get up for the day at around 6.30. We used to co-sleep full time but DS seems to prefer his own space and tends to toss and turn if he's in with us earlier in the night. I bought an Ergo a few weeks ago in the hope of doing more carrying/cuddling, but the dark nights and rubbish weather have meant few opportunities to use it during the week.

Thank you

[EauRouge]

Also it can be very emotionally draining if you disagree on parenting styles; maybe a good chat to clear the air- talking about how you feel rather than strategies to 'fix' things- might make things a bit better, even if nothing else changes.

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

X Posts. Thank you again. You sound very lovely and very wise

[otchayaniye]

both mine were feeding often, every couple of hours except the three short days i work when they are with daddy.

baby is feeding (now) alot through the night. yes, it does my head in sometimes but i know it will pass, having come out the other side with dd1 (and getting pregnant the month after nightweaning at 22 months.

to be honest, if you've demand fed up til now, chances are they'll ask when you're around (upset, tired, etc) wouldn't you i you were them?

i don't like delatching at five am ( particular feedy time) and slinging myself in a cab to work ....

i am knackered, but very thin, so not knocking it too much

[EauRouge]

Gu pudding has nutrients in, I'm sure And wine is defo part of a balanced diet! You sound more positive now, that's ace :) Hope you feel more energetic soon!

[gemma4d]

"how often does your toddler nurse"

At 15months; 3 or 4 breastfeeds, one cup of formula, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 2 snacks. And not fat, not thin, but healthy and happy.

Now she is 19 months and I chose to encourage her to reduce the BFs. Now down to 2 - first thing and last thing - and she rarely asks for more. Plus of course the 1 cup formula (while I'm at work), b l and d, and 2 snacks. She has a bigger snack in the afternoon since I dropped the breastfeed and as a bonus she is now happy to wait for dinner with us instead of demanding it at 4:30 on pain of death.

But what is right for you is whatever suits you and your baby (ok, and maybe - just maybe - your dh )

HTH

[BigWhoop]

My 17month old (feeding her now lol) she gets morning, then I try not to feed her until bed time, but she quite often pesters me incessantly at around 5pm and I give in for a quiet life! Feed her to sleep, and she can still wake anywhere between 1-4 times a night, so those should be counted too.
I'd quite happily reduce it to just one feed a day but she has other ideas... I try everything else before I feed her, but I think it's just a big comfort thing for her.

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Thank you all

[AngelDog]

My DS was on at least 8 day feeds and 1-5 night feeds - still was at 24 months when I got pg (though fewer average ast night). Plus 3 big meals and 2 snacks. He enjoyed his food and bf.

And what EauRouge said.

[Namechangeforapropertythread]

We've night weaned at 11 months and trying to cut down a bit but not actually refusing during the day. Interesting to read peoples posts. Do you think its all or nothing in this age group or possible to just be occasional?

[stopgap]

3-4 times a day, nothing at night since seven-months-old (his choice). He has three good meals a day, two snacks. My friends's baby (also fifteen months) nurses every 90 minutes and eats minimal solids, so there's such a vast range.

[JeewizzJen]

Hey Truth :)

DS is still feeding anywhere from 3 to 8 times during the day and 3 to 5 times at night. He feeds less during the day if we are out and about and busy, and he has a cup of EBM when he's at the Childminders two days a week. When i get home on those days he's desperate to feed! As you know we attempted some night weaning, but didn't get that far...

[DW123]

19mo twins feed three times a day (morning, before nap and bedtime). DT2 feeds back to sleep about 3 times a night. DT1 feeds back to sleep 0-2 times a night. I am now in the process of dropping the morning feed (as I hate it for various reasons) and replacing with a bottle of formula/cows milk. I have no idea how to stop the others as i rely on them for sleep! I plan to keep at least 1 feed a day going through this winter until they are 2. And everything everyone else has said.

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Night weaning not 100% successful here either...

Thank you again everyone. DH and I have talked again and come up with a new plan to try so fingers crossed we'll all get some more sleep soon.