Nice comments about feeding older toddlers(10 Posts)
This is a pointless post really, but thought I'd share as I know it's easy for people to feel that feeding older toddlers upwards is a bit odd.
My DH was pretty keen for me to stop by the time DS1 was 2 and has been a bit about (he's given up on that now!)
I only know 1 person IRL outside of my
lentil weavers' natural parenting group friends who bf'd for more than 18 months so I sometimtes feel it's odd. But people recently keep telling me about how they bf'd their older toddlers now (it comes up more often because I'm tandem feeding 2.10 y.o. DS1 and 3.5 week old DS2).
One of the midwives at hospital told me about feeding her son till age 4. Today an estate agent came to look at our house and DH explained that I'd taken the boys to a bf'ing group. The estate agent told DH about how she'd bf'd both of her DC till 3.5 y.o. and co-slept with both - and that both of them had grown up to be perfectly normal older children.
it's never occurred to me i'm doing anything 'special' or 'extraordinary' and i can't say going to a breastfeeding group is my bag (what do you do there? talk about lactating, while lactacting?) but i know you can feel the odd one out feeding a walking talking person.
but yes, no one i know appears (i say appears as it's not something i think to talk about in real life with friends) to have fed beyond 12-18 months, or fed to sleep, etc. it has come up because people have offered to babysit and obviously i need to feed to sleep first and warn them about wakings and so on.
i've had more eyerolling st my never having used a pram and always walking about with DD2 (now 15 months) latched on than the actual feeding per se. think some friends and neighbours think i'm right precious.
my husband was very positive about my feeding 3 year old and tandeming, this from someone who would've nudged and eyerolled before children.
my first boyfriend was fed until he was five (russia more common to self wean i think) so the concept wasn't alien. he remembered it fondly!
Well, the bf group was to get help with latching as DS2 is only 3 weeks and has restricted tongue movement (it's due to be snipped next week), so it's currently uncomfortable for me feeding both him and (as a result) DS1.
The groups here are good - each has a BfC and sometimes peer supporters. Lots of people go because of wanting help with specific problems (like I did); some go for the social aspect to meet other mums. One group has a sling library & gives lots of advice on that, which is very popular.
I don't think I'm doing anything special either - in fact, not bf'ing DS1 would be much, much harder work than carrying on (which is the main reason DH has come round to my view).
I am feeding dd3(26m) and fed dd2 till 40 months. I never thought I would feed that long. I remember watching an american programme years ago where the dr said breastfeeding should be until at least 2 years. At the time I thought that is way too long. Well once you start feeding you kind of forget that they are getting bigger. It isn't like I have picked up my dd at 2 years and started to bfeed her, she has just grown with me feeding her.
I wish I had fed dd1 longer than the 8 months I did. I stopped as the suggestions around me were she had to move onto bottles. I know I was young and easily swayed.
I think the nicest comments I get now just don't happen. By that I mean that my family and friends don't say 'are you still feeding dd?' anymore they just know that I am and that I don't really care what they think. I hope this means that I have helped to normalise breastfeeding for them. They can see that my kids are happy and healthy and breastmilk has been a huge part of their life so it is nothing to be scared of.
DD saying, mmmmmmmmmm,mmmmmmmmmmmm,mmmmmmmmmmmmmm (she is nearly 3), she loves the taste of booby, says its better than chocolate.
sorry angeldog, reading back, i read my post back i i think i sounded snippy or dismissive when i didn't mean to be. i hope you get your tongue snip sorted soon and feeding's more comfortable. i'm feeling the round the clock tugging, pushing, pulling feeding in the night tough at the moment....
i had a picture of a bfeeding group as being a group where bfeeders only wanted to hang out with other bfeeders. i'm an avoider of groups in all areas of life anyway. babies no exception!
i do remember feeding DD1 and being the baby bubble and the anxiety i had about feeding her (she was 5 lbs at birth) and thinking that This Was The Most Important thing ever, four years down the line and another child and lots of demand feeding (still feed anything from 10-20 times a day) its just become the new normal and everyone (including me sometimes) is a bit bored by now!
but yes, i wouldn't change a thing as its totally shaped my parenting in the early years. so don't get me wrong, i am passionate about it.
my four year old is very sweet about her sister having booby 'look at the little sucklebutt!' she says. she gave up about two months after her birth (odd looking down at much older child when you have a 6 pounder latched on too) of her own accord.
BF groups always have awesome cake
The thing I like about BF groups is that (at least the ones I go to) are so open-minded, I've never once felt criticised for any of my parenting choices. Also the cake.
otcha bf group gives you a chance to meet like minded people - the only people I know in RL who fed to 12 months were from group.
Ours was just like normal baby group except everyone bf and there was a bg Bf support worker if you had questions.
BF tends to go more hand in hand with sling wearing, co-sleeping and attachment parenting in general and sometimes it's nice not to feel "different", also a lot of confidence can be gained from being around others who are confident in feeding in public.
All the "mummy" friends I have (ds is almost 5) are from his bf group.
SOmetimes, it can be the most (stereotypically) unlikely people who 'come out' as full tern breastfeeders. You know, not lentil weavery at all .
I'm feeding a 2.6 yr old and outwith bfn pals, keep it fairly quiet, but when I'm in my bf supporter teeshirt, people tell you about their experiences wherever you are - Asda, school gates, etc, etc. Turns out more people feed longer than I had ever expected in this area where bf rates are poor.
No offence taken, otch.
Eau - cake? I must be going to the wrong groups!
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