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How can I channel my frustration...?

(14 Posts)
louloutheshamed Fri 02-Nov-12 20:56:25

For the third time in as many weeks I have gone to visit a friend with a newborn. Each of them had a go at bf, but all them had given up by day 5 because they 'couldn't do it' :-(. One friend in particular was so determined to do it, she asked me about it all the time during her pregnancy but it hasn't worked for her and it makes me feel so sad for her.

I just don't know where we are going wrong in this country where so many women want to bf and don't end up doing it. I bf my son til 18 mo and I honestly think it was one of the bet things I have ever done in my life. I feel sad that other people miss out on it.

So What can I do? I would live to train as a bf peer supporter or something but I work full time. I really feel like I need to channel my feelings about this!

Loislane78 Fri 02-Nov-12 21:31:07

I posted something similar on a thread yesterday: (assuming the mums want to continue BF which is totes fair enough if they don't) i think the main reasons are:

- not realizing all the problems you can encounter whilst BF (and I did ante natal classes and paid attention!)
- poor access to BF help and
- poor advertising of BF help even when available

I'm lucky I live in an area with lots of really active BF support - but not one MW told me about them when pg (!!! and generally I as v happy with my MWs). the first I knew was when I went to a MW discharge clinic at week 3. That was fine for me but may be too late for others; you need to be armed with information of where to go/what to do before a problem starts.

To get out of the house and meet people I go to the local children's center for parents classes and there is always an NCT BF person there. I also found loads of other places I can go locally on different days to get help if needed. Almost everyone at the children's center BF - not sure whether its the area, support or type of people who go but high BF rates.

Several of my friends have had issues (tongue tie, mastitis etc.) and all but 1 got the support and have continued to BF which shows things are 'fixable' but mums need help and quickly.

GL smile

EauRouge Sat 03-Nov-12 08:40:25

That's brilliant that you want to help out, too bad about the circumstances that you've seen sad

If you don't have the time to train as a peer supporter or BF counsellor (although might be worth looking into if you have any spare time, it's very flexible and some BFCs also work full time) then you could contact your local BF group and see if they need any help. You could donate a breastfeeding book to the group, or help with fundraising or promotion- there are all sorts of ways to help if you don't have the time to becoming a BFC.

EauRouge Sat 03-Nov-12 08:41:33

I am tired. Sorry for rubbish post. You know what I mean. grin

BertieBotts Sat 03-Nov-12 08:54:46

Things they never tell you about breastfeeding #2 - you'll probably have to seek out decent support and often the front like staff who you see in those early days (midwife/health visitor) haven't had training in BF support - their ability to help will largely depend on personal interest and research or training they personally have been on. This means that the advice is going to range from excellent to downright damaging, and there's a lot of in between there. In between might be fine for one mum but useless for another because she has a problem that the MW with "in between" knowledge doesn't know how to solve, and she then might stop, believing that she's tried everything/not knowing that there is other support out there or other things she could have tried.

The other problem is that a lot of BF "info" which is floating about are downright myths - but they sound logical, so they get repeated again and again as truth, even by HCPs, unless they happen to be very well informed about breastfeeding in the first place.

BertieBotts Sat 03-Nov-12 08:55:34

That wasn't a rubbish post EauRouge! Great ideas to help the cause smile

EauRouge Sat 03-Nov-12 09:30:12

The content was OK, grammar and spelling a bit wonky though wink

I've thought of another one. You could become a member of one of the voluntary organisations (NCT, LLL, ABM, BFN etc). They use the membership money to pay for information, volunteer training etc., that would be a really simple way to help out and won't take up much time at all.

louloutheshamed Sat 03-Nov-12 11:01:44

Ok some great ideas thank you! I like the idea of joining an organisation. I have a lot in as well as working ft I am studying for a masters and have an active 21 mo so
Still not sure I would have time although I might reconsider in the future if my life ever quietens down a bit! Also thinking if of ttc %232 next year so might have a bit if of time to go to groups etc on mat leave?

BertieBotts Sat 03-Nov-12 11:23:43

grin you have 231 children?? No wonder you have a lot on!

louloutheshamed Sat 03-Nov-12 11:26:47

Lol %232!!! Don't know what happened there blush

louloutheshamed Sat 03-Nov-12 11:27:27

It did it again! I mean number two! Numbers are Failing me today!

BertieBotts Sat 03-Nov-12 12:20:55

Haha, it's probably the hash symbol converting to ascii code like they do in web addresses.


BertieBotts Sat 03-Nov-12 12:21:06

Oh... didn't work for me! Lol

horseylady Sat 03-Nov-12 15:45:34

I want to bf but ds wi be 10 days old when see the specialist.

Long time to wait/express/top up with formula. He's now calmer at the breast so fingers crossed!!

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