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Positive vibes thread for mums with BF problems

(67 Posts)
Zara1984 Fri 02-Nov-12 18:24:52

Hi all

My DS is 6 days old and BF is not going great. Having difficulty getting him to latch, he's on expressed breast milk. The immediate fog of distress has lifted but I'm still sometimes feeling confident I'll be able to get him on the boob, but other times feeling like a failure sad like right now sad

I thought I would start a positive vibes thread for other ladies who are having problems. Like listing stuff we are doing that is awesome. Here is my pathetic list:

- despite a rough start my DS is now giving lots of wet dirty nappies from all the expressed milk I'm giving him
- my DS looks at me with so much I love I know he really doesn't care how I feed him, he just wants to be close to me all the time
- I had a shower and brushed my hair today
- he managed to latch and suck for 30 minutes today with mw help!!
- I sent a super-positive pep talk/confidence boosting text to my boss whose wife had a cs today and I know would be feeling terrified.

Sorry my list is not very long... but you get the idea....

Welovecouscous Fri 02-Nov-12 18:47:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whatsoever Fri 02-Nov-12 18:48:50

Great idea Zara! Well done for all the good stuff and for persevering.

My DS is 19 days old today. BF is going quite well generally but milk flows too fast from left boob making him splutter and get angry and he tends to chomp on right boob so I have to get him off & re-latched several times, so either side can be a stressful experience. My positioning can be poor too. I'm going to go to a breastfeeding group next week & hope to get some tips.

Other than that, DS is a pretty content baby & is asleep in a heap on my chest as I type this on my phone.

Zara1984 Fri 02-Nov-12 19:05:49

I just got him to latch for 15 minutes!!! Ok it took 15 minutes to get him on, but never mind. 2 x latches today! Victory!!!!

welovecouscous the clearing out his digestive system/mucus is a big one as he had to get suctioned due to bad meconium aspiration and has been very very mucusy. The hospital reckoned that's why he didn't even want to feed at first because his tummy was full of mucus so he thought he was full (on Tuesday he went 8 hours at one point without eating, despite me trying for hours and hours anything I could to wake him up and get him to latch - had to be fed a cup of formula by mw).

mawbroon Fri 02-Nov-12 19:16:21

To anybody struggling with breastfeeding, please read this here and have your babies checked for tongue and lip tie.

There is a woeful lack of knowledge out there amongst hcps about ties, and it means that many ties are going undiagnosed. It seems that many mothers have to take it upon themselves to push the issue.

Many of us on MN have been told that there is no tie, only to find out later that there actually is.

There are some experts out there, it's just not easy to find them!!

ElphabaTheGreen Fri 02-Nov-12 19:37:54

I had an awful, awful start to breast feeding - took me ages to work out how to latch, bleeding nipples, thrush, appalling pain but, after eight weeks, and lots of specialist support, I finally started feeling like I was getting somewhere. Five months on, and I'm pretty sure it's one of the things I'm proudest of in my life so far. For what will probably, in the scheme of things, be a pretty small sacrifice of my comfort, sleep and time, I'm giving my child the best possible start he can have. Those of us that persevere are in the overwhelming minority. Smug face, girls, and keep going! grin

PS Having to p*ss about with bottles for the first time now for DS to take to nursery. What a freakin' PITA!!! Trust me - KEEP GOING. It is (or at least will get) so much easier to get the boobs out!

PPS biscuitbiscuitbiscuit brew brew brew Your best friends while cluster feeding.

Welovecouscous Fri 02-Nov-12 20:05:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrscog Fri 02-Nov-12 20:14:49

Zara WELL BLOODY DONE and keep going! I had to cup feed DS EBM for the first week due to latch problems, there were times when I thought my heart was going to split in two because I was so desparate to breast feed and although I'd anticipated long hours sitting feeding, possible pain etc. I hadn't for a second thought that DS just wouldn't latch! Well, after a few weeks we got it all sorted, and I EBF for 6 months, he's 8 months this Monday and I'm still feeding him and it's great. Keep going, you're doing fab. smile

McBaby Fri 02-Nov-12 21:21:43

Still in pain at nearly 12 weeks have had TT cut once going do second cut on Tuesday. I love feeding her despite the pain and crying! But she is healthy and putting on weight smile (but won't take a bottle at all! So she knows what's good for her).

Next step is to deal with the fast let down which chokes her every so often!

ThreeWheelsGood Fri 02-Nov-12 21:59:50

This is a good idea for a thread. My baby is ten days old and at the start we had trouble, just not interested in feeding (syringe fed colostrum in hospital), then next evening at home wouldn't feed, tried for hours, tried cup feeding expressed milk which didn't work, had to go back to hospital to get help from midwife to latch on. Now having problems with bad latch on right hand breast, really painful cracked nipple, good advice from phone helpline but really anxious about it all going wrong again. Hardly slept since labour started. Exhausted.

Welovecouscous Sat 03-Nov-12 08:28:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Zara1984 Sat 03-Nov-12 08:47:39

Yesterday DS latched for 4 feeds in total, which I am so pleased about! But it feels really hit and miss - for the other feeds he just will not have a bar of it.

The thing I'm struggling with right this second is where he makes feeding cues, but won't wake up (I try all the usual things eg undressing, tickling feet). Should I wait until his eyes are open (even where he's been restlessly making feeding faces for past half hour?)?

ElphabaTheGreen Sat 03-Nov-12 09:54:06

He's learning just as much as you are Zara, possibly even more so because he doesn't have the problem solving skills you have. Just keep working on eliciting his feeding instincts by using skin to skin. I've not done it myself, but a lot of people swear by biological nurturing to help with babies who aren't good latchers. Google will reveal all if the idea hasn't been presented to you already.

KEEP GOING! You're doing an amazing thing for you and your baby. thanks

Welovecouscous Sat 03-Nov-12 10:16:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Curtsey Sat 03-Nov-12 10:28:03

Well done to everyone battling pain and exhaustion. In just a few months everything will feel 100 times easier than it feels right now. If any of you feel up to it and have a helpful DP or mum to hand, would you consider a bath with your baby? It's just lovely and really gets the milk flowing plus you get washed at the same time - result! You don't have to feed in the bath, you could feed when you get out.

ElphabaTheGreen Sat 03-Nov-12 10:39:13

Great idea, Curtsey smile

Here and here are videos of the latching techniques I swear by in case you find them helpful.

Curtsey Sat 03-Nov-12 10:44:35

Ps if you do the bath thing get DP to take a photo, it's beyond cute. Really helps a baby to settle too.

In the photos DP took of me and DD you can see the milk gushing out blush

Smicha Sat 03-Nov-12 10:49:23

Great thread! It is hard, but at no time did I ever consider stopping as I see it as a lifetime of benefits for a bit of discomfort that passes. I struggled with latch at first and had to express colostrum, and then had mastitis in week two, but we are now at week 6 and it's pretty easy...aside from occasional fast let down when I feel so sorry for the little mite! Feeding while lying on my back helps with that...although I admit that's a tad impractical when out and about. I now love BF as the bond I have with ds is so special and knowing I'm the only one who can give him what he needs is an amazing feeling.

blonderthanred Sat 03-Nov-12 11:34:23

Great idea for a thread. Smicha I'm glad to hear it's going well.

I'm having a different problem in that 8-day-old DS latches on ok (often slips a bit at the end of a feed and chomps my nipples though, ouch) and seems to enjoy it, he looks healthy and well but has lost more weight than he should so mws want me to top up with formula, 3 x 90mls a day. I don't really want to so trying to express and encourage more milk to avoid this but it's getting me down a bit.

However I was thinking this morning about three things that keep me going and make me so blimmin happy I could melt:

1. The way he raises his eyebrows when trying to latch on as if he thinks it will help him open his mouth a bit wider.

2. When he makes eye contact during a feed and we just gaze at each other.

3. When he finishes a feed by smacking his lips, resting his head on my breast and throwing a proprietorial arm over it before falling asleep.

Makes it all worth it!

Zara1984 Sat 03-Nov-12 14:25:33

blonder those are great things!!! I know exactly what you mean, my DS does the same and when he does it feels like I've won the lottery!!

He latched for one 20 min feed this morning, and mw helped me with a modified rugby ball hold which is great! Before that on-boob feed he had taken 60ml expressed in a bottle.... And after nursing promptly threw up about 50ml confused ....

Things I am grateful for today:
- he doesn't seem so scared/frustrated by boob anymore - he won't always latch but is definitely trying
- his sucking is getting stronger when he does latch!

Seems like when he's very sleepy having a bit of expressed first helps wake him up sufficiently to give nursing a good go.

Zara1984 Sat 03-Nov-12 14:29:47

blonder the mw today said she thought my milk production might be a bit low and told me to take iron tabs to help it? She mentioned this particularly b/c she saw me during late pregnancy and said today I looked very pale and drawn in comparison

Orenishii Sat 03-Nov-12 16:40:26

Hi ladies, great thread!

DS, 7 days, started out ok in that he loved the nipple but it was really painful. Now it's not painful, he doesn't want it! He cries, pulls and pushes away, opens his mouth for a scream rather than the's heart-wrenching and so hard to keep forcing my nipple on him.

I think it might have made him a bit lazy expressing into bottles? We also had to syringe colostrom into his mouth so along with bottling breast milk just to keep him fed, I suppose he doesn't understand he also has to work to get milk out? I bought some slow flow teats for when we use bottles.

It's so hard but this kind of thread keeps me going.

pommesdeterreetfromageblanc Sat 03-Nov-12 17:36:25

My positives.... she has had her TT dealt with yesterday, we have visitors so I cannot make a song and dance about how depressing I find BF so, it is a bit less depressing funnily enough! She has not started to cluster feed yet! I am going to a BF cafe on Monday and hope to meet mums to cry with :D

Seriouslysleepdeprived Sat 03-Nov-12 18:43:40

blonder has your baby been checked for tongue tie? Those are the symptoms my DS had with his, the slipping off, chomping, not opening his mouth etc. I practically held him on my boobs for weeks! Improved massively once I got it sorted.

It is so hard in the beginning but is easy peasy once you get it established & really worth preserving with. smile

Seriouslysleepdeprived Sat 03-Nov-12 18:47:49

Also have you tried offering more feeds and switch nursing? You can top the baby up with breast milk this way if you want to avoid formula.

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