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One year old night feeding- not sure how to change things.

(13 Posts)
gemmeg Fri 02-Nov-12 10:45:42

My DS turned one a few weeks ago and sometimes I have the impression he still thinks he's a newborn....he goes to bed at 6.30-7pm and usually wakes 3-4 hours later and also 1-2 times during the night expecting to be fed. I have tried not feeding him and just soothing him to sleep but he nuzzles into my chest and kicks up a fuss until I give in. It's just so easy to feed him for 5-10mins (that's all it takes) then he goes back to sleep. He will NOT be comforted by anyone else and just gets himself hysterical if I don't go in to him. I know that he can self-soothe as I put him down for his naps and at night awake and sometimes when I do hear him wake, I leave him for 10 mins and he can get himself back to sleep. I don't mind doing the late evening feed, however, it would be nice every now and then to be able to go out in the evening. I recently tried to go out to the pub with a couple of friends, something I haven't done since DS was born. I left him with my parents and put him to bed before I left. I got a text msg an hour or so later to say he had been screaming the place down and was back downstairs watching TV. Another hour and a half later he still wasn't in bed and I was summoned home to deal with him as he was screaming again. I'm a stay at home mum so the night feeds aren't such a big issue although of course a night of unbroken sleep would be nice.......not really sure what advice i'm after here.....would be nice to hear how others have dealt with this kind of situation confused.

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 02-Nov-12 12:25:52

Waking at night is perfectly normal, in fact half of babies at 12 months still wake, no matter how they are fed or how you parent. There are a few things you can do though. Can't do links ATM but google askdrsears 31 way to get your baby to sleep, as it has some good tips. The book, the no cry sleep solution is good too.

Welovecouscous Fri 02-Nov-12 12:28:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Welovecouscous Fri 02-Nov-12 12:49:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 02-Nov-12 12:51:42

Agree will well too. Both of mine were like this at 12 months but were much better soon after.

ipswichwitch Fri 02-Nov-12 12:56:41

We're in the same boat op. DS is 1, and despite well meaning interfering relatives insisting he doesn't need night feeds, DS begs to differ. He's waking at about 11, and 5 and refuses water with considerable hysteria, and generally will not settle until he has a feed. If by some miracle he does, he will wake again in half an hour and scream blue murder until he's fed. Family insist on blaming the fact he's bf, even though we started giving formula at 11 an it made no bloody difference.

We've tried everything and are now resigned to the fact that he obviously needs it, and will hopefully stop of his own accord. He dropped all his other feeds by himself and has a very good appetite or solids. I also long for an uninterrupted sleep- I work ft and have a hard time getting up most mornings, but it's not gonna improve anytime soon since I'm pregnant with DC2!!

gemmeg Fri 02-Nov-12 14:06:59

Thanks for all your reassurance.....I'm never really quite sure what makes me worry, like I said, it doesn't really matter to me that he wakes in the night as I don't go to work, I enjoy bfing and obviously he does too wink. I think what sometimes sets me of is when I hear about my friends, who FF their babies, going out on "date night" with their OHs or meeting up at the pub for drinks and I feel the green-eyed monster rearing its head envy. It goes away again though when I remind myself of the extremely close bond I have with my DS. I also think expectation plays a role too- what a baby "should" be doing at 12 months etc.....

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 02-Nov-12 20:44:10

People do lie too though. My Dsil and dmil used to harp on all the time about what a wonderful sleeper dn was and how great ff and the baby whisperer is. 7 years later they've finally admitted that dn still wakes every night!

Don't know why they said it at the time and when I was feeding at night their comments drove me potty. You just have to mentally stick your fingers in your ears and sing nah, nah, nah, I'm not listeninggrin

If you want to be reminded of the wonderful things you have achieved so far google nct reasons to be proud and google kellymom toddler to find some great reasons to carry onsmile

marmitericecakes Fri 02-Nov-12 23:31:13

OP I feel your pain. I have never spent an evening away from my DS but I hope my post will give you some light at the end of the tunnel...

My DS is 13 months and he's always fed to sleep. At 12 weeks he started to feed regularly through the night (waking up between 2 and 10 times). At the time I thought it was a growth spurt, had him in bed with me and just did what I had to do to get a decent night's sleep.

Now I'm back at work and I've been thinking about how to gently wean him off night feeds / comfort sucking. So last week I didn't feed him when he woke at about 2am because he didn't make that much fuss and I wanted to see what would happen... after 5 minutes he settled back to sleep. The following night when I was putting him to bed he self settled for the first time ever - just like that (he's always fed to sleep). And he's done it every night since!

As I type, he's been in bed asleep for more than 3 hours and he normally wakes within an hour of going down! I still feed him at about 3am and 6am but that's it. If he stirs I just soothe him back to sleep but if I'd have tried that a month ago it would have ended in hysteria.

At this stage our babies are changing so quickly you may find that you turn the corner just like we have - just keep trying!

gemmeg Sat 03-Nov-12 10:10:48

marmitericecakes Glad to hear you're making progress and judging by what you and some of the other posters have said it's just a matter of time until we turn a corner (she says, knocking firmly on wood grin). I know things could be so much worse....he could scream through the night or wake A LOT more than he does now. Another thing he's started doing the past couple of weeks is feeding more during the day. We had got our BF sessions down to just morning and before bed and once more in the afternoon if I offered it to him (he didn't demand it) but now he wants to feed at every nap time (so up to four times a day) and makes a point of lobbing his dummy across the room and burying himself in my boobs. Any ideas on the sudden increase?

Crimebusterofthesea Sat 03-Nov-12 10:49:00

gemmeg - My DS is 10 months and does exactly the same as your DS. I also get the green eyed monster - oh how I long for a night out with DH! At the moment, I just haven't got the resolve to night wean and don't really know where to start with it. Last night, DS went down at 7pm, woke at 10pm and screamed blue murder until I fed him. He then woke again at 5am and I fed him back to sleep. He then woke at 6.45am. The thing I find hard is that every night is different. Sometimes he doesn't wake until 3-4am and once he actually slept from 7pm until 6am!! Don't really know what the point of my post is, just wanted to say I feel your pain and have my fingers crossed that things just magically get better soon!

JiltedJohnsJulie Sat 03-Nov-12 16:54:35

crimebuster do you think it could be the 9 month sleep regression?.

Crimebusterofthesea Sat 03-Nov-12 18:40:38

I think we have been in a permanent regression since about 8 months jiltedjohn! As soon as he could sit up from lying down, self settling at the beginning of naps and bedtimes has just gone out of the window. We have a really long wind down, but as soon as I pop him down in his cot, ping! He just can't switch off. I just don't have the resolve either, especially in the middle of the night. I think what frustrates me most is the fact there are just so many factors that cold be playing a part; developmental leaps, how long he naps for, how much he eats during the day, teething etc! I just really want a baby that sleeps through the night - why does it always seem that every other baby in the whole world sleeps through?!

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