am i wrong to bottle feed from birth?

[borninnotts]

i bf ds 14 years ago but he wasn't getting milk and ended up in itcu for three weeks and i bottlefed after this. do you think i should just bottle feed this dd from birth as realisticaly can't see me expressing enough milk with my busy schedule. am having sleepless nights debating.

[MikeLitorisBites]

Could you try bfing first?

Ultimatley it is your decision and you should do what is best for you and yours.

[JennyPiccolo]

It's not wrong, no.

[halloweeneyqueeney]

YANBU to loosely plan to do so but I think with all things new baby related, don't set it in stone

[borninnotts]

thanks :-) feel pressured by hcp to bf but i have to put my dd first.

[halloweeneyqueeney]

absolutely, and it has to be taken on an individual basis, but NHS HCPs have to tick the "encouraged BFing" box. However TBF you haven't met this DD yet so IMO its good to leave some flexibility in your plans

[halloweeneyqueeney]

(I would say the same thing to anyone who said they are DEFINITELY BFing in advance too!)

[tiktok]

borninnotts, it'll help to think why you have these feelings....itcu is a scary place and if you think your attempts to breastfeed were part/all of the reason your ds ended up there, then you may be wanting to avoid any repeat scenario. 3 weeks is a long time in itcu :(

If you want to, can you explain what happened last time? It may be possible to think of ways you can get things off to a better start.

[GodisaDJeatingaToffeeApple]

Did you ever explore the reasons why your ds wasn't getting enough milk 14 years ago?

I know even just feeding to a schedule, rather than on demand, introducing a dummy and topping up with formula in those early early days, may have affected supply, and as such affect how much weight a baby puts on.

You need to be happy with your decision to bf or ff.

Whilst pregnant, I would recommend you get yourself along to a BF cafe and talk to some other mums and an experienced BF counsellor who can help you explore the reasons for your ds not getting enough milk at the beginning. It's all additional information to help you make an informed decision to either give BF a go, or choose FF and be happy with your decision.

HTH

[MarianForrester]

Not wrong at all

I was worried about pressure, but it really didn't happen. I was clear on my decision for many reasons (tho I always said I might change my mind when ds was born. I didn't tho)

Really, the important thing is that you and dc are happy. I would say relax about this and just plan to enjoy your baby.

[AnnieLobeseder]

Not wrong, but not optimal for baby. There's no reason not to at least try and see how it goes, with a decision made in advance not to pressurise yourself if it turns out to be problematic.

[FishfingersAreOK]

Not wrong. Just feed your baby. I had a similar kind of plan for DS as really struggled to BF DD. Though I thought - I'll give BF a go. "If BF goes OK I will stick with it. If at any point BF is difficult I will go to FF." That was the plan. (Had struggled on for weeks to everyone's detriment sticking with the BF first time round)

In the end BF DS was a breeze - all happened very easily and so just went with it. But absolutely would have stopped if had been a pain. So maybe take that view - just see how it goes.

And congratulations and good luck.

[seeker]

Why are you thinking about expressing? I never could, but I could breast feed.

Do you know why it didn't work last time?

[Fairylea]

I bottle fed ds from birth after I found breastfeeding dd 9 years before such a stress and I was very upset over the whole thing (long story).

For me bottle feeding from birth was a really positive experience and meant I could forget all about the hassle of breastfeeding and how uncomfortable it made me and just focus on enjoying ds.

[ContinentalKat]

I had a similar experience with ds.
If you are worried whether baby will get enough milk, weighing before and after feeding gave me peace of mind.

I also have to say that I was very strongly discouraged from weighing before and after feeding, but after ds1 nearly starving I didn't give a shit.

[PickledFanjoCat]

I was wondering about expressing too op, is there a reason you need to express?

[PickledFanjoCat]

What a scary experience though I can totally understand why you feel this way.

[aamia]

Hi,
Given your prior experience, and the fact that you're worried about lack of calories for baby rather than the whole experience, could you bf with top-ups for the first few days? That way baby would still get some of that so vital colostrum, but you wouldn't need to worry there wasn't enough food going in?

[ZombieArmsDragOnTheFloor]

In all honesty, if you are doubting your decision it may not be completely right for you.

Personally, I'd give breastfeeding a go and see what happened - you're more experienced now so would recognise the signs that your baby isn't getting enough milk. You can always switch to bottle feeding but it is not always easy to switch the other way.

[tiktok]

Kat, the trouble with test weighing (which is the term for weighing before and after) is that it gives you no useful info at all....I can understand that you might find it reassuring, but there are good reasons why it has not been done in most places for the past several decades.

Ask if you want to know more :)

[tiktok]

Breastfeeding with top ups in the first few days is absolutely unphysiological though - the baby does not need extra food, it's not good to throw this sort of onslaught at his system, unless he actually needs it (and a few babies may do, if they are unable to get colostrum/early milk in any other way)...and it certainly undermines any chance of getting bf going :(

[EMS23]

It's not wrong and you should do what is best for you and your family.
I didn't manage to bf DD1 which was a horrendous experience and the guilt, feelings of failure etc sent me into PND.

With DD2 I considered not trying to bf so prepared myself for bf and ff. She came out suckling, a champion feeder and it was such a positive experience for me. I laid the ghost to rest of my awful experience with DD1.

After a week, I gave up bf DD2, for various reasons but I am proud of my achievements now, rather than my failures and pleased I gave it a good go. It wasn't meant to be and bf'ing will always be a tough subject for me but I think keeping an open mind is the best approach.

Best of luck.

[marriedinwhite]

I went to hell and back again trying to feed DS. The whole hand: mastititis, infective mastitis, thrush of the inner breast and a breast abscess - all ending in clinical post natal depression. I was made to feel a complete and utter failure and that I had not ensured he had the optimal start in life. He is now 6'2", plays front row and brought home 10 A*s (and an A).

I was very wary of even trying with DD but I did having done a lot of research and going into it with my eyes open and determined that if I hit the same problems I would stop and not get upset about it. DD was much easier to feed (although for me it was painful in the first six weeks or so) and I managed to keep it going until she was about 9 months old.

You must do what you feel happiest with and as an experienced mum you know that the most important thing is love.

[BlackSwan]

Do whatever works for you - your baby will be completely fine with either formula or BM or a mix. Too much importance is placed on BF these days. I would prepare for both and see how you feel once the baby arrives.